The word “stress” translated from English means “increased tension, load.” As a result, a person’s self-regulation and his ability to maintain mental balance are disrupted. As doctors say, stress can accumulate in the body and “break through” into diseases that can take years to cure. That is why the question is so relevant today.

How does stress occur in children?

The mechanism of stress is currently well studied and described in specialized literature. An anxious state appears in response to a child finding himself in an unfamiliar environment or an unusual situation. Next, a strong emotion arises - fear or joy (stress can cause not only negative, but also positive feelings). The reaction at the bodily level manifests itself in sudden dizziness, spasms, “freezing of the heart,” “coldness in the stomach,” tears, etc.

Even infants can develop “orphan syndrome” if they are left alone for a long time. What can we say about three or four year old children, who already see and understand a lot, and can even come up with something and fantasize. In a stressful situation, they complain of abdominal pain and rapid heartbeat. Stubbornness and whims, so common at this age, are also often manifestations of stress.

Child's reaction to school stress

Experienced parents know how many worries a child has associated with school. Sometimes a whole bunch of diseases can be suspected in children, from heart disease to acute appendicitis and chronic poisoning. Headache, intestinal colic, the appearance of a rash - this is not a complete list of symptoms that, upon closer examination, are a reaction to stress.

Neurologists say that most often the causes of these manifestations are in the mental sphere. Children experience anxiety, tension, and the body reacts to these thoughts. During school years it is especially important protect your child from stress, since in adolescence these experiences can leave an imprint on the rest of life: uncontrolled mental stress by the age of 20-30 can transform into serious depression, cardiovascular diseases, and metabolic disorders.

Here are the signs of stress in schoolchildren:

• Sullenness, isolation, a desire to isolate oneself from the outside world, or, on the contrary, hyperactivity that is not typical for a child

• Tendency to get distracted in class and become self-absorbed. In this state, children can draw, draw, fold something out of paper, play with the phone, not paying attention to the teacher

• Experiences from competition with peers, complaints of abdominal pain, loose stools, most likely caused by nervous irritable bowel syndrome

• Pain perception, complaints of migraines, pain in muscles, joints

• Development of chronic fatigue syndrome. The appearance of apathy, indifference to evaluation

• In particularly acute cases, children may lose consciousness, complaining of severe dizziness and cold, wet hands.

Prevention and treatment of stress

Like other diseases, a tendency to stress needs to be noticed in time and contacted by specialists. Today, a large number of sedative drugs are produced, including herbal ones.

Physical exercise, water treatments, and visits to the pool are effective for children exposed to stress.

In difficult cases, a psychotherapist will come to the rescue. But parents themselves can improve their literacy and find materials on the Internet and the library about. For example, it will be useful for them to become familiar with biofeedback therapy.

This technique is based on the ability of each person to control body systems using a certain emotional state. BFB stands for “biofeedback.”

Children really like treatment using the biofeedback method. Sensors are attached to the body to record the psychomotor characteristics of a particular baby. All data is placed into a computer and converted into graphic images using a program.

Next, the child is shown puzzles on the monitor. As soon as tension characteristic of stress arises in the body, the picture “freezes.” The doctor explains to the baby that he will be able to finish it only if he relaxes well. Under the influence of the play environment and his own high motivation, the child gradually gets used to not straining and remaining calm.

The biofeedback technique has no side effects or contraindications. It is suitable for children from 5-6 years of age. It has proven itself to be excellent for correcting autonomic disorders. But there is one condition that parents are told right away: they cannot force their child to come to subsequent classes if he did not like the first one. This “treatment” will have no effect.

Stress is an integral part of modernity. But this does not mean that there are no ways to resist it. By teaching your child to cope with anxiety and worry, you will give him the right attitudes for a long, happy life.

Nerves

In order not to deplete the child’s nervous system, try to smooth out stressful situations. Praise him more often, play and have fun together, do not burden him with “adult” problems.

Children of different ages experience stress in different ways.

• Children under two years old have disturbed sleep, they are capricious and refuse to eat.
• Between the ages of two and five years, behavioral aggression appears; the child has attacks of bad mood, tearfulness, and may even begin to stutter.
• Children of preschool and primary school age, under the influence of stress, become silent and withdrawn, avoiding communication.
• Teenagers show stress through “difficult behavior,” attacks of irritation, and outbursts of rage. Often, under the influence of this factor, a convulsive tic develops: blinking or twitching.

What will help

Scientists have found that children who do not have enough magnesium in their bodies are more difficult to adapt to difficult circumstances. This macronutrient is able to withstand stress, which means it is simply necessary for the nervous system. To establish a magnesium deficiency, you need to take a blood test. If the deficiency of the element is confirmed by laboratory tests, the doctor will prescribe magnesium-containing drugs.

Anti-stress products

Magnesium is found in beans, spinach, walnuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, peanuts and wheat bran. But since magnesium is not absorbed without vitamin B6, supplement your child’s anti-stress diet with foods such as beef liver, chicken, sea fish, sweet peppers, millet, pomegranate, garlic, and sea buckthorn.

Video on the topic

Tip 2: How to avoid stress when sending your child to kindergarten

The beginning of a child's visit to a child care institution may be accompanied by a stressful state for both the child and his parents. Such situations can be avoided if mom and dad carefully prepare for this moment.

Parent preparation

Having decided to send your child to kindergarten, do the preparatory work with yourself. First of all, prepare yourself for the fact that you will need to part with your baby. First for 1-2 hours, and then longer, gradually increasing the time of his stay in the institution.

Find out in advance which teachers will work in your group. Meeting them personally will give you confidence in their professionalism. It will be easier for you to hand the child over to people you already know.

Meet the head of the kindergarten. He will explain all the rules for the child to attend the group. Pay special attention to payment for kindergarten services and provision of food for the child.

The child is placed on food in advance. If you plan to come tomorrow, then call the kindergarten and inform about your arrival today.

Medical staff will also be of great help in preparing for kindergarten. You will be told about all the important points that need to be observed in the family. In addition, doctors will provide a list of children's doctors who will need to be seen to fill out the child's personal medical record.

Preparing the child

Long before your baby officially arrives at kindergarten, begin smooth preparation. While walking near the kindergarten, explain to your child that children come here to play, learn new things and make friends. Tell him that it’s interesting that the teachers know a lot of games. This positive attitude will help your child show initial interest in kindergarten.

Find out about the daily routine in kindergarten. By bringing your daily routine at home closer to it, you will prepare your child for a new life stage for him. In addition, this will allow him to quickly adapt to unfamiliar conditions.

If your child is withdrawn, try to take him for walks in crowded places more. Teach him to get to know his peers and play with them. Subsequently, communicating with strangers will not become stressful for your child.

If necessary, contact a child psychologist; one is on staff at the kindergarten. A specialist will help your child prepare for kindergarten, avoiding stress. In addition, it will give you the opportunity to identify and solve hidden problems in a timely manner.

During the first days of your baby's stay in the group, stay with him. This will give the child confidence that he has not been abandoned, that you are nearby. Subsequently, he will be ready to stay in kindergarten without your presence.

Support your child in all his endeavors, rejoice even in small successes. This way he will know that the new knowledge, skills and abilities acquired in kindergarten please his parents and find approval in the family.

The first inevitable stresses in a child are associated with separation from loved ones (especially their death), a visit to the dentist, or an upcoming painful procedure (surgery). A child’s attitude towards an upcoming unpleasant event is connected primarily with how an adult experiences them - children are infected by their parents’ anxiety and, on the contrary, can, in a relaxed state, more easily tolerate and quickly forget everything that adults are afraid of. Therefore, it is necessary, first of all, for adults to stop being afraid.

In the event of an upcoming painful manipulation, it is necessary to carry out preliminary familiarization work about what the child is about to undergo, but the information must be selective - you need to exclude all “horror stories” and avoid communicating with children who may excite or frighten your child. What is useful for preparing for the upcoming event should be told, indicating important points of behavior - that you need to open your mouth, that there will be forceps, etc. If the child is small (under 3 years old), then it is better to abandon the preparatory work altogether and put him through stress unexpectedly.

And one more piece of advice - even before an unpleasant event, start making long-term life plans for the time after this event is over. This will allow the child to feel that everything unpleasant is of course, and then a bright streak of life will come.

All of the above applies primarily to healthy children - but for nervous children with neuropathy, psychological techniques for overcoming stress alone are not enough. The easiest way to overcome and “smooth out” stress in both children and adults is the use of tranquilizer medications. “Tranquility” in translation means peace, tranquility. The action of these drugs is to prevent and “relieve” fear, anxiety, and agitation. The author of these lines takes this medicine an hour before visiting the dentist. Of course, this doesn’t hurt less, but you sit in the dentist’s chair without trembling or sweating.

Unfortunately, in recent years, tranquilizers have become practically inaccessible to residents of Ukraine due to the mistakes of the deputies of our Verkhovna Rada, who adopted stupid laws: see the section on the website about holding a “Charity medical event for candidates for deputies of the Verkhovna Rada to determine their mental development.” Of course, in some cases, weaker sedative medications that are not addictive under any circumstances can also help with stress. Therefore, using the Neuropharm computer program, I can select the optimal set of medications to prevent stress, taking into account the child’s psyche and their availability.

How to help cope with more complex types of stress during school age .

Some women, when they “overheat” from irritation or internal worries, give up everything and start baking pies, starting cleaning or doing laundry. He says that after a couple of hours there are no memories left from the excitement. And many men escape from incredible stress in business using old proven methods - football, a bathhouse, beer with friends. It is known that those who have managed to choose the optimal way to get rid of mental and physical stress live much happier and feel life in all its fullness and joy. Now let’s think: even we, adults, who at least already know how to control ourselves, sometimes cannot do anything with our nerves, no matter how hard we try.

But what happens to children in such situations? This is especially evident in cases where we immerse children in an adult world that lives according to strict rules. For example, in sports. “You are doing a serious business,” the coach says to his student, “forget that you are eleven years old, in sports there are no children and adults, but there are bad athletes and good ones.” Perhaps such attitudes are successful in terms of results, but it is something like this that most likely begins the stories that psychologists sometimes refer to as “early combustion.”

Stress is definitely good for the body. But in moderate doses and only if it is overcome. If a child experiences constant pressure and does not have the opportunity to “get out” from under it, his psyche is shaken. In addition, it has been found that children exposed to stress are more likely to suffer from so-called psychosomatic diseases. These are allergies, skin diseases, asthma, enuresis, sleep disorders. Later, stress carries over into adulthood. Special studies have confirmed that most heart ailments begin in childhood, starting from six to nine years.

What are the main sources of excessive stress in schoolchildren? First of all, of course, school. Today, children inevitably have to master a huge amount of information. Parents, being carried away by diversified development, often try to fill all the time left from studying with various activities. But before immersing a child in an area of ​​activity that will inevitably require serious effort from him, and perhaps become a profession, it would be good to understand why this is being done. You need to talk to your child - find out what HE likes and why. Observe - in order to understand HIS inclinations and temperamental characteristics. If parents think that the child has talent and needs to be realized, this must also be discussed with the child himself. And only when, as they say, everything comes together - the child’s desire, his capabilities, and parental capabilities, then there is really a chance of achieving real success. But even in this case, psychologists strongly recommend following several important rules:

• leave to the child free time in which he can do what he wants;
• help to realize borders your capabilities, soberly assess your strength and endurance;
• in cases where the child suddenly refuses to study, find out in detail why. It can be anything - from the coach's appearance to the color of the swimsuit. Knowing the reason, it is always easier to help;
• exclude the so-called " hypermotivation". Simply put, do not allow yourself or your child to have attitudes like “if I don’t do this, I’m worthless and no one will love me; if I don’t win this competition, then nothing will ever work out,” etc. Such thoughts sometimes lead to suicide attempts in children, so you need to be extremely careful;
• be attentive to complaints about well-being. Frequent headaches, stomach ailments, poor sleep or fatigue for no reason may be the first signs of overexertion.

In addition, it is imperative to consciously teach your child relaxation techniques. Having learned from childhood to alternate tension and relaxation, a person acquires an extremely large “margin of safety.” American psychologists Sheldon and Sheila Lewis recommend using breathing meditation as a form of relaxation, which is quite accessible to children 6-11 years old. Invite your child to first sit quietly for three minutes, with his back straight but not tense, and his eyes closed. The child breathes calmly, listening to his breathing, feeling it entirely. At first it will be difficult not to be distracted by extraneous thoughts, but gradually the exercise will become easy and accessible, and then the time can be increased to 10-15 minutes. In the future, short breathing meditations will help during breaks between difficult lessons, and in conflict situations, and especially during difficult exams.

Another serious problem that faces young talents is stage fright. Often, unnecessary stress arises just before public speaking. There are also some rules here that will help overcome these fears:

• don’t think that you could have prepared better;
• do not compare yourself with others;
• take several deep breaths and exhalations while relaxing the body;
• imagine that the nervous system is warming up to generate additional energy for the performance. If you feel like there is too much energy, you need to jump or shake your hands, as athletes do before a start;
• concentrate on your movements. By focusing on one’s condition, a person relaxes and stops being nervous;
• after the performance, stop for a while, stretch gently or take a few deep breaths and exhalations;
• acknowledge your successes and draw conclusions from mistakes (but in that order, and not vice versa).

Of course, it is impossible to protect a child from stress and breakdowns. But cultivating self-confidence, self-sufficiency, and a sense of breadth and fullness of life will help smooth them out. It is very important that the child spends some time playing and communicating with his parents, and it is advisable that the topic of achievements and victories is not touched upon. The worst thing is to link parental love and success in school or sports. At the same time, the child may lose a sense of security and realize that he is lonely and weak. After all, the best medicine against adversity is UNCONDITIONAL AND UNCONDITIONAL parental love.

You can consult your child at a private appointment with Dr. Bitterlich

Go to kindergarten without tears or how to protect your child from stress!

Adaptation in kindergarten: attempt or torture? It is subconsciously ingrained in us that kindergarten is one of the steps to a happy childhood. But joyful expectations from the first visits to the kindergarten are replaced by concern: the child has regressed in everything achieved (in speech, skills, ability, play). Maybe he got sick? He really does have a runny nose, and yesterday he had a fever... He doesn’t like kindergarten, and the baby is almost unrecognizable, as if he had been “replaced.” It was not the baby that was replaced, but life and circumstances, which is inevitable. The child’s body and soul are in a state between health and illness: soon the child either actually gets sick, if the severity of the stress is great, or becomes himself again, in case of easy adaptation.

What causes stress in a child?

Not so much by separation from significant adults, and especially the mother, as by the imperfection of the child’s adaptation mechanisms. After all, in order to survive in an unfamiliar environment, a child needs to behave differently in kindergarten than at home. But the child does not know this form of behavior and suffers from it, fearing that he will do something wrong.

Degrees of adaptation

Easy adaptation

Average adaptation

Difficult adaptation

Very difficult adaptation

First time in kindergarten...

Set your alarm clock so that you have enough time to get ready and get ready. Think in advance which way you will walk or go to kindergarten, how long it will take, and when you need to leave the house. Remember, or better yet, write down all the questions you want to ask the teacher, don’t forget to remind her that you are leaving his favorite toy or something dear to him in the child’s backpack.

Adaptation to a new place can last one to two weeks, depending on the psyche and character of the child. Full adaptation occurs in about 2-3 months. Stress in a child can spill out in the form of whims, aggression, wet pants, refusal to eat and sleep, and an imaginary “loss” of acquired skills.

What will help the baby cope with the fear of a new environment and separation from his mother?

Give your baby his favorite toy. Psychologist T. Kozak writes: “Let the toy go with him every day and meet others there, ask what happened to the toy in kindergarten, who was friends with it, who offended it, whether it was sad. This way you will learn a lot about how your baby manages to get used to kindergarten."

If your baby is heartbroken about parting with you, put a small photo of you in his pocket or give him a “piece of yourself” as a goodbye (for example, your handkerchief that smells like your perfume, or something like that). If it is difficult for a child to part with his mother, let his father or grandparents take him to kindergarten at first. If your child “fell into childhood” (the so-called pseudo “regression”), for example, returned to a pacifier or a bottle of milk, or “forgot how” to do something, do not shame him or panic. This is a temporary condition that helps the baby relax and calm down.

Another interesting remark by psychologist N. Nekrasova: “If a child on the way to the garden begins to whine and slow down, do not persuade him (this will only increase internal tension), but praise him. Say, for example: “Good girl, now I see what kind of person you are.” me big and brave..." or "What a great fellow you are, but if I were you, I would probably cry, but you are brave, you know that you are going to kindergarten...", etc. This is the case when it is useful speak your teeth. And most importantly, mother’s words give the child confidence, because a strong person (even if we are talking about a baby) will cope with difficulties.”

When you leave, part with your child easily and quickly. Of course, you are worried about how your child will be in kindergarten, but long goodbyes with a worried expression on his face will cause anxiety in the child that something might happen to him here, and he will not let you go for a long time. Don’t poison your soul by watching the site from behind the fence or listening under the door. By the way, children most often quickly calm down immediately after their mother disappears from sight.

Don’t make the mistake of taking a break from visiting - a week at home will not only help your child adapt to kindergarten, but will also demonstrate to him that there is another option that he can strive for with all his might.

Try to plan your time so that in the first week of visiting kindergarten your child does not stay there for more than two to three hours. During this period, it is necessary to create a calm and conflict-free climate in the family for your baby. Spare his weakened nervous system! Do not react to his antics and do not punish him for his whims. It is better to temporarily cancel trips to the cinema, circus, guests, and reduce the time you watch TV. Try to follow the same routine at home on weekends as in kindergarten.

Play with your child with homemade toys in kindergarten, where some of them will be the child himself. Observe what this toy does, what it says, help you and your child find friends for it and solve your child’s problems through it, focusing the game on positive results.

If a child becomes aggressive or irritable, do not scold him. The main thing to remember is that this is still the same baby. Spend all your time with him, hug him more, lie or sit next to him, whisper his favorite song in his ear.