A story about school: how the hedgehog Bull was afraid to go to school. Funny story from school life. Funny stories about school and schoolchildren
A short play about school and for schoolchildren. Allows you to take everyone on stage; you can introduce additional roles and crowd scenes. The simple plot will interest both younger schoolchildren and older children.
Characters:
- Tsar's Diary;
- Minister of education;
- guard;
- reader;
- 1st Col;
- 2nd Col;
- Two;
- 1st Troyak;
- 2nd Troyak;
- Four;
- 1st Five;
- 2nd Five.
In the center of the stage is a throne for the king, near which stands a guard; There is a geographical map hanging on the wall.
Reader.
In a certain school state
Tsar Diary sat on the throne.
And one morning early
Visit other countries
The king had an idea. And the decree
He scribbled it right away.
(Unrolls the scroll, reads the decree.)
"To complete the visit
I need a retinue like this
To the far side
I shouldn't embarrass myself.
To have visitors
Not fools, not troublemakers,
Not lazy, not flatterers,
And as it should be - well done!
I command everyone to come to me,
So that everyone can distinguish themselves,
Show your intelligence and stuff.
Everyone to appear before the royal eyes!”
The reader leaves. The king enters and sits on the throne. The Minister of Education appears behind him.
Minister (to the king).
I, the Minister of Education,
I announce with glee:
At your apartment
The first two candidates.
Tsar.
The first two? Well, great!
I'll talk to them personally.
Minister.
Come in, gentlemen!
Two Colas enter.
1st Col.
We came here
To bow at your feet
And ask to go to the embassy.
They bow to the king.
Tsar.
What should we call you, eagles?
2nd Col.
We are Father Kola.
We are Koly Kolovy.
1st Col.
We are both healthy
Both are not hunchbacks,
Noble and rich.
2nd Col.
And we want, so to speak,
Our kingdom to represent
Together with Father the Tsar
Behind an unknown hill.
Tsar.
Well, are you friendly with literacy?
1st Col.
We don't need science.
Not according to Kolam status
Bend the spine in half,
Study the calculator, the primer.
2nd Col.
Why do we need this, king?
Tsar.
What?! Shame on you,
Uncouth Kolam,
Come to my room
And ask to go abroad?!
Let's go! What a disgrace!
Guard, lead Kolov into the courtyard,
Give me a kick without delay
To give them a boost!
The guard takes Kolov by the collar and leads them out.
Minister.
King, some girl
He also asks to go into the bright room,
So that you appreciate her
And he invited me to the embassy.
Tsar.
Let's see what kind of girl she is.
Maybe it would be good for a retinue.
I will conduct the exam -
If I don't find any flaws,
Then he will go abroad.
Invite the girl here.
The Minister leaves and returns with Deuce.
Two.
I bow low to the king
And at the same time I say,
That I’m ready, so to speak,
Our kingdom to represent
On the foreign side -
This mission is for me.
Tsar.
Well, what's your name?
Two.
Everyone calls them two, lovingly.
As I walk down the street -
Everyone admires me.
All the handkerchiefs are taken out
And tears flow from happiness.
Tsar.
Are you good with grammar?
Reading, math?
Two.
Why does the beautiful maiden
Study mathematics?
After all, the servants are next to me -
They will count if necessary.
I don't even know the letters.
I am a pillar noblewoman,
Not a slave's certificates!
Tsar.
This is just a shame!
You, my dear, are arrogant
And an inveterate lazy girl.
Not being able to read is a shame!
All! Conversation over!
You're good for nothing.
No need for a retinue either!
I tell you, girl,
Leave the chambers.
oskazkah.ru - website
The king turns away. Deuce shrugs and leaves.
Minister.
King, to your apartment
Two contenders are competing.
It seems that they are not loafers,
They sharpen their lasses in Spanish:
"Oh, boyfriend, monsieur, bonjour,
Guten morgen, lampshade!”
Tsar.
Invite them to a reception
Let's see what it costs here.
The minister leaves and returns with two Troyaks.
1st Troyak.
Guten morgen, hende hoch!
Every friend of us is not bad!
2nd Troyak.
We wish you a cordon,
Fuck Paris and fuck London.
Tsar.
Well, what is your name, friends?
1st Troyak.
I am a Troyak and he is a Troyak!
We are in terms of languages -
Guten Morgen, be healthy!
2nd Troyak.
In general, a complete fantasy!
The king gets up from the throne and approaches the map.
Tsar.
Where are London and Paris?
The triplets randomly point their fingers at the map.
1st Troyak.
London is here, Paris is over there.
2nd Troyak.
Near Panama City.
In geography - we are gut!
Tsar.
Yes, you are not gutt, but kaput!
I'll ask them both to leave!
Goodbye, sorry!
(To the guard)
Bring them to the gate
Show me where the turn is.
(To the Minister)
You are the Minister of Education!
What kind of talent is this?!
All oak trees,
Unmannered, rude!
Answer me, little cat,
Where are our literate people?
Is it really in the great kingdom,
Our school state
Is there anyone smarter?
Minister.
King, allow me to answer.
There are the smartest girls
Three good sisters
I sent messengers to them.
Tsar.
Where are they, after all?
Three girls with briefcases enter and bow to the king.
All.
Hello, our wise king,
Our learned sovereign!
Tsar.
Come on, come on, what kind of birds are they?
What smart girls are these?
How beautiful and neat
Pleasant to the royal eye!
I could take everyone to the embassy.
What is your name, beauties?
1st Five.
I am Five.
2nd Five.
I am Five.
Four.
And I am the youngest Four.
Tsar.
Are you friendly with science?
1st Five.
All items are important to us!
2nd Five.
There are no secondary sciences!
Four.
You definitely need to know them.
Tsar.
What about subject notebooks?
I hope everything is fine with them?
The girls take notebooks out of their briefcases and hand them to the king.
1st.
Look for yourself, sir.
Four.
And take mine, king.
The king looks at the notebooks with a satisfied look.
Tsar.
No mistakes, no flaw,
I take you all into my retinue!
Tomorrow to distant shores
The brig will rush us along the waves.
The first point is Germany.
(To the hall) Thank you for your attention!
General bow, curtain.
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For every person, school is the most unforgettable stage of life, which, after many years, one wants to plunge headlong into again in order to again feel the taste of childhood, experience the period of growing up and developing a personality, see favorite teachers, remember funny stories about school that happened with classmates and you.
Here are a few cases from school life that will help you plunge into such an atmosphere that is dear and close to everyone.
The Tale of the Three Little Pigs
A funny story from school life begins with the fact that during a reading lesson, the teacher read a fairy tale about the three little pigs to first-graders. Finally she came to a passage about the search for materials to build houses, namely when one pig saw a peasant riding on a cart of hay and asked: “Excuse me, sir! Could you lend me some hay to build my little house?” After a pause, the teacher asked the children a question: “What do you think the peasant answered to the piglet?”
One of the boys said without hesitation: “The peasant replied that you could simply be stunned: a talking pig!” After these words, the teacher could not continue the lesson...
Where's my bomb?
And this funny story from school life was told by one teacher, whose school was once visited by an FSB officer in order to find out whether the educational institution was ready to repel a possible terrorist attack. The visit, of course, was unplanned. In the hands of the guest there was a yellow opaque bag with a dummy bomb, with which he walked around the floors, then returned to the security guard and asked him to look after the bag. Having convinced himself that there was no sign of vigilance in this school, he went to the director to organize a dressing down.
When I returned, I discovered that the package with the “bomb” had been stolen, apparently for more necessary purposes. Therefore, the “lecturer”, instead of reading lectures to the director, was forced to reorient himself into a school detective.
A funny story from school life about Leshenka
One day, a boy, Leshenka, was brought to one of the many schools of child prodigies, to whom his aunt-psychologist asked the question at the entrance interview: “What is the difference between a bus and a trolleybus?” The boy, without thinking twice, said that the trolleybus runs on an electric motor (while the bus runs on an internal combustion engine.
The answer was incorrect. In fact, everything is much simpler: a trolleybus with horns, and a bus without. Therefore, there is no need to fool the smart auntie’s head.
According to the magazine
Also quite a funny story from school life. A new teacher came to the 9th grade. The guys decided to joke with her, test her reaction and nerves at the same time, and put a condom on the table. The teacher was not at a loss, picked up this object and, showing it to the class, asked what it was and where it was used. In response - friendly laughter. Then the teacher says: “Okay, let one of the boys, the bravest one, come to the board, and I will show you where and how to put it on, and at the same time tell you what it is for. If there is no volunteer, then you will have to call from the magazine ". A suspicious silence reigned in the class.
Funny story from school life about a pancake
Both adults and children have the habit of using the word “damn”. Moreover, they insert it at every opportunity. A teacher at one school, in order to eradicate this habit, suggested that children replace the word “pancake” with “raisin bun.”
In every class there are students who cannot sit quietly through a boring lesson and take the initiative to complete it as quickly as possible. In one such class there was a student whom everyone loved, and he never felt fear of anyone. In class, everyone was just waiting to see what joke he would make. If the lesson was delayed, the student would leave the class under some pretext and ring the bell for recess (of course, ahead of time). He could write a note “there is a sock hanging on the ceiling” and pass it around the class. Everyone was reading and naively looking at the ceiling, although it was clear that there was no sock there.
Bye-bye!
When trying to remember funny stories about school, the following incident comes to mind. During one of the lessons, a child couldn’t wait to go to the toilet and wet himself. The teacher found the most predictable way out of the situation: she called her mother, who brought the pants. The child was changed into dry clothes. After this, the teacher began to respond more carefully to the children’s requests. And then one day she was standing with a colleague on one of the floors near the toilet, and she asked her to stand so that the children wouldn’t run in. The teacher is standing in the corridor, guarding the door and sees a girl running out of the classroom and shouting: “Bye-a-aka-a-at!”
The poor teacher remembers a previous incident; The toilet is busy as luck would have it. But then this girl runs up to another one - her same age, pats her on the shoulder and says: “Bye, Katya! I won’t wait for you, my lessons are over.”
Mrrr meow
Here's another funny story from school life that happened in a physical education lesson. In the tenth grade, it was required to pass standards for running. Since no one really wanted to jump, the guys came up with the idea of buying valerian and creating a real paradise for the local cats on the sandy area intended for such an interesting activity. No sooner said than done! On the day the standards are expected to be passed, the purchased valerian is successfully poured onto the site. the teacher who saw several dozen inappropriately behaving cats around the perimeter of the playground defied description.
Attempts to free the yard from meowing animals were unsuccessful. But the goal for which everything was done was achieved, and the physical education lesson turned out to be very fun.
Hooray! Quarantine!
Quarantine, like the holidays, is a happy period for any normal student. This is a holiday! At least a week. So here it is. In winter, as expected, a flu epidemic began, and schools in which more than 10 people were sick were closed one after another. However, no one in one class was sick, so the kids decided to set up an artificial quarantine: they brought some fragrant stuff from home and decided to smell it, and as soon as everyone started sneezing, the teachers would think that the quarantine had reached here too, and they would let everyone go home. Unfortunately, such a brilliant experiment failed. The teachers, smelling the smell of pepper, were asked to voluntarily hand over “chemical weapons.” 4 boys (hooligans with poor grades) and one girl (an excellent student and the teachers' favorite) passed. Everyone got it from both parents and teachers, but I can’t help it.
In the same class, a battle with books was not uncommon. One day, a flying book hit a teacher who came to teach a lesson on the head. After such presentation, she said that you need to enter this class in a bulletproof vest and helmet. It didn't happen like that. Before the test, they locked themselves in the classroom, and the teacher could not get there until the middle of the lesson.
At least take a peek...
Funny stories from the lives of schoolchildren are varied and sometimes even repeated. Remembering these wonderful bright moments, you feel a strong desire to return to childhood, even for a minute. After all, adult life is often monotonous; it does not have that school recklessness and mischief. Favorite teachers are already teaching to other generations, who plot them in the same way, smear the board with paraffin and put buttons on the chair. Therefore, you need to remember funny stories from school as often as possible, because at such moments mischievous sparkles light up in your eyes, and a kind and mischievous smile appears on your face.
Interesting stories by Viktor Golyavkin for younger schoolchildren. Stories for reading in elementary school. Extracurricular reading in grades 1-4.
Victor Golyavkin. NOTEBOOKS IN THE RAIN
During recess, Marik says to me:
- Let's run away from class. Look how nice it is outside!
- What if Aunt Dasha is late with the briefcases?
- You need to throw your briefcases out the window.
We looked out the window: it was dry near the wall, but a little further away there was a huge puddle. Don't throw your briefcases into a puddle! We took the belts off the trousers, tied them together and carefully lowered the briefcases onto them. At this time the bell rang. The teacher entered. I had to sit down. The lesson has begun. The rain poured outside the window. Marik writes me a note:
Our notebooks are missing
I answer him:
Our notebooks are missing
He writes to me:
What we are going to do?
I answer him:
What we are going to do?
Suddenly they call me to the board.
“I can’t,” I say, “I have to go to the board.”
“How,” I think, “can I walk without a belt?”
“Go, go, I’ll help you,” says the teacher.
- You don’t need to help me.
-Are you ill by any chance?
“I’m sick,” I say.
— How’s your homework?
— Good with your homework.
The teacher comes up to me.
- Well, show me your notebook.
- What's going on with you?
- You'll have to give it a two.
He opens the magazine and gives me a bad mark, and I think about my notebook, which is now getting wet in the rain.
The teacher gave me a bad grade and calmly said:
- You're kind of strange today...
Victor Golyavkin. THINGS ARE NOT GOING MY WAY
One day I come home from school. That day I just got a bad grade. I walk around the room and sing. I sing and sing so that no one thinks that I got a bad mark. Otherwise they will ask: “Why are you gloomy, why are you thoughtful? »
Father says:
- Why is he singing like that?
And mom says:
“He’s probably in a cheerful mood, so he’s singing.”
Father says:
“I guess I got an A, that’s what’s fun for a man.” It's always fun when you do something good.
When I heard this, I sang even louder.
Then the father says:
“Okay, Vovka, please your father and show him the diary.”
Then I immediately stopped singing.
- For what? - I ask.
“I see,” says the father, “you really want to show me the diary.”
He takes the diary from me, sees a deuce there and says:
— Surprisingly, I got a bad mark and is singing! What, is he crazy? Come on, Vova, come here! Do you happen to have a fever?
“I don’t have,” I say, “no fever...
The father spread his hands and said:
- Then you need to be punished for this singing...
That's how unlucky I am!
Victor Golyavkin. THAT'S WHAT'S INTERESTING
When Goga started going to first grade, he knew only two letters: O - circle and T - hammer. That's all. I didn't know any other letters. And I couldn't read.
Grandmother tried to teach him, but he immediately came up with a trick:
- Now, now, grandma, I’ll wash the dishes for you.
And he immediately ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And the old grandmother forgot about studying and even bought him gifts for helping him with the housework. And Gogin’s parents were on a long business trip and relied on their grandmother. And of course, they didn’t know that their son still hadn’t learned to read. But Goga often washed the floor and dishes, went to buy bread, and his grandmother praised him in every possible way in letters to his parents. And I read it aloud to him. And Goga, sitting comfortably on the sofa, listened with his eyes closed. “Why should I learn to read,” he reasoned, “if my grandmother reads aloud to me.” He didn't even try.
And in class he dodged as best he could.
The teacher tells him:
- Read it here.
He pretended to read, and he himself told from memory what his grandmother read to him. The teacher stopped him. To the laughter of the class, he said:
“If you want, I’d better close the window so it doesn’t blow.”
“I’m so dizzy that I’m probably going to fall...
He pretended so skillfully that one day his teacher sent him to the doctor. The doctor asked:
- How is your health?
“It’s bad,” said Goga.
- What hurts?
- Well, then go to class.
- Why?
- Because nothing hurts you.
- How do you know?
- How do you know that? - the doctor laughed. And he slightly pushed Goga towards the exit. Goga never pretended to be sick again, but continued to prevaricate.
And the efforts of my classmates came to nothing. First, Masha, an excellent student, was assigned to him.
“Let’s study seriously,” Masha told him.
- When? - asked Goga.
- Yeah right now.
“I’ll come now,” Goga said.
And he left and did not return.
Then Grisha, an excellent student, was assigned to him. They stayed in the classroom. But as soon as Grisha opened the primer, Goga reached under the desk.
- Where are you going? - Grisha asked.
“Come here,” Goga called.
- And here no one will interfere with us.
- Yah you! - Grisha, of course, was offended and left immediately.
No one else was assigned to him.
As time went. He was dodging.
Gogin's parents arrived and found that their son could not read a single line. The father grabbed his head, and the mother grabbed the book she had brought for her child.
“Now every evening,” she said, “I will read this wonderful book aloud to my son.”
Grandma said:
- Yes, yes, I also read interesting books aloud to Gogochka every evening.
But the father said:
- It was really in vain that you did this. Our Gogochka has become so lazy that he cannot read a single line. I ask everyone to leave for the meeting.
And dad, along with grandmother and mom, left for a meeting. And Goga was at first worried about the meeting, and then calmed down when his mother began to read to him from a new book. And he even shook his legs with pleasure and almost spat on the carpet.
But he didn't know what kind of meeting it was! What was decided there!
So, mom read him a page and a half after the meeting. And he, swinging his legs, naively imagined that this would continue to happen. But when mom stopped at the most interesting place, he became worried again.
And when she handed him the book, he became even more worried.
He immediately suggested:
- Let me wash the dishes for you, mommy.
And he ran to wash the dishes.
He ran to his father.
His father sternly told him never to make such requests to him again.
He thrust the book to his grandmother, but she yawned and dropped it from her hands. He picked up the book from the floor and gave it to his grandmother again. But she dropped it from her hands again. No, she had never fallen asleep so quickly in her chair before! “Is she really asleep,” thought Goga, “or was she instructed to pretend at the meeting? “Goga tugged and shook her, but grandmother didn’t even think about waking up.
In despair, he sat down on the floor and began to look at the pictures. But from the pictures it was difficult to understand what was happening there next.
He brought the book to class. But his classmates refused to read to him. Not only that: Masha immediately left, and Grisha defiantly reached under the desk.
Goga pestered the high school student, but he flicked him on the nose and laughed.
That's what a home meeting is all about!
This is what the public means!
He soon read the entire book and many other books, but out of habit he never forgot to go buy bread, wash the floor or wash the dishes.
That's what's interesting!
Victor Golyavkin. IN THE CLOSET
Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me.
I was sitting in the closet, waiting for the lesson to start, and didn’t notice how I fell asleep.
I wake up and the class is quiet. I look through the crack - there is no one. I pushed the door, but it was closed. So, I slept through the entire lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet.
It's stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I got scared, I started screaming:
- Uh-uh! I'm in the closet! Help!
I listened - silence all around.
- ABOUT! Comrades! I'm sitting in the closet!
I hear someone's steps. Someone is coming.
- Who's bawling here?
I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaning lady.
I was delighted and shouted:
- Aunt Nyusha, I’m here!
- Where are you, dear?
- I'm in the closet! In the closet!
- How did you get there, my dear?
- I'm in the closet, grandma!
- So I hear that you are in the closet. So what do you want?
- They locked me in a closet. Oh, grandma!
Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She probably went to get the key.
Pal Palych knocked on the cabinet with his finger.
“There’s no one there,” said Pal Palych.
- Why not? “Yes,” said Aunt Nyusha.
- Well, where is he? - said Pal Palych and knocked on the closet again.
I was afraid that everyone would leave and I would remain in the closet, and I shouted with all my might:
- I'm here!
- Who are you? - asked Pal Palych.
- I... Tsypkin...
- Why did you climb there, Tsypkin?
- They locked me... I didn’t get in...
- Hm... They locked him up! But he didn’t get in! Have you seen it? What wizards there are in our school! They don't get into the closet when they are locked in the closet. Miracles don’t happen, do you hear, Tsypkin?
- I hear...
- How long have you been sitting there? - asked Pal Palych.
- Don't know...
“Find the key,” said Pal Palych. - Fast.
Aunt Nyusha went to get the key, but Pal Palych stayed behind. He sat down on a chair nearby and began to wait. I saw through
the crack of his face. He was very angry. He lit a cigarette and said:
- Well! This is what prank leads to. Tell me honestly: why are you in the closet?
I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, and I’m not there. It was as if I had never been there. They will ask me: “Were you in the closet?” I will say: “I wasn’t.” They will say to me: “Who was there?” I will say: “I don’t know.”
But this only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow they will call mom... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept through all the lessons there, and all that... as if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs ache, my back hurts. One torment! What was my answer?
I was silent.
-Are you alive there? - asked Pal Palych.
- Alive...
- Well, sit down, they will open soon...
- I am sitting...
“So...” said Pal Palych. - So will you answer me why you climbed into this closet?
- Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why?
I wanted to disappear again.
The director asked:
- Tsypkin, is that you?
I sighed heavily. I simply couldn't answer anymore.
Aunt Nyusha said:
— The class leader took the key away.
“Break the door,” said the director.
I felt the door being broken down, the closet shook, and I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I pressed my hands against the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way.
“Well, come out,” said the director. “And explain to us what that means.”
I didn't move. I was scared.
- Why is he standing? - asked the director.
I was pulled out of the closet.
I was silent the whole time.
I didn't know what to say.
I just wanted to meow. But how would I say this...
A fairy tale about school, teachers and students. What could be better for Teacher's Day or any other school event!Tale for Teacher's Day can also be successfully used at a school graduation, New Year's concert, congratulations to teachers on March 8 and for many other occasions. A short, funny skit about school. Or a miniature play - it’s not a matter of genre, but the fact that skits on a school theme and performances for teachers, staged by students, are always successful and popular.Characters:
- Tsar's Diary;
- Minister of education;
- guard;
- reader;
- 1st Col;
- 2nd Col;
- Two;
- 1st Troyak;
- 2nd Troyak;
- Four;
- 1st Five;
- 2nd Five .
In the center of the stage is a throne for the king, near which stands a guard; There is a geographical map hanging on the wall.
Reader.
In a certain school state
Tsar Diary sat on the throne.
And one morning early
Visit other countries
The king had an idea. And the decree
He scribbled it right away.
(Unrolls the scroll, reads the decree.)
"To complete the visit
I need a retinue like this
To the far side
I shouldn't embarrass myself.
To have visitors
Not fools, not troublemakers,
Not lazy, not flatterers,
And as it should be - well done!
I command everyone to come to me,
So that everyone can distinguish themselves,
Show your intelligence and stuff.
Everyone to appear before the royal eyes!”
The reader leaves. The king enters and sits on the throne. The Minister of Education appears behind him.
Minister (to the king).
I, the Minister of Education,
I announce with glee:
At your apartment
The first two candidates.
Tsar.
The first two? Well, great!
I'll talk to them personally.
Minister.
Come in, gentlemen!
Two Colas enter.
1st Col.
We came here
To bow at your feet
And ask to go to the embassy.
They bow to the king.
Tsar.
What should we call you, eagles?
2nd Col.
We are Father Kola.
We are Koly Kolovy.
1st Col.
We are both healthy
Both are not hunchbacks,
Noble and rich.
2nd Col.
And we want, so to speak,
Our kingdom to represent
Together with Father the Tsar
Behind an unknown hill.
Tsar.
Well, are you friendly with literacy?
1st Col.
We don't need science.
Not according to Kolam status
Bend the spine in half,
Study the calculator, the primer.
2nd Col.
Why do we need this, king?
Tsar.
What?! Shame on you,
Uncouth Kolam,
Come to my room
And ask to go abroad?!
Let's go! What a disgrace!
Guard, lead Kolov into the courtyard,
Give me a kick without delay
To give them a boost!
The guard takes Kolov by the collar and leads them out.
Minister.
King, some girl
He also asks to go into the bright room,
So that you appreciate her
And he invited me to the embassy.
Tsar.
Let's see what kind of girl she is.
Maybe it would be good for a retinue.
I will conduct the exam -
If I don't find any flaws,
Then he will go abroad.
Invite the girl here.
The Minister leaves and returns with Deuce.
Two.
I bow low to the king
And at the same time I say,
That I’m ready, so to speak,
Our kingdom to represent
On the foreign side -
This mission is for me.
Tsar.
Well, what's your name?
Two.
Everyone calls them two, lovingly.
As I walk down the street -
Everyone admires me.
All the handkerchiefs are taken out
And tears flow from happiness.
Tsar.
Are you good with grammar?
Reading, math?
Two.
Why does the beautiful maiden
Study mathematics?
After all, the servants are next to me -
They will count if necessary.
I don't even know the letters.
I am a pillar noblewoman,
Not a slave's certificates!
Tsar.
This is just a shame!
You, my dear, are arrogant
And an inveterate lazy girl.
Not being able to read is a shame!
All! Conversation over!
You're good for nothing.
No need for a retinue either!
I tell you, girl,
Leave the chambers.
The king turns away. Deuce shrugs and leaves.
Minister.
King, to your apartment
Two contenders are competing.
It seems that they are not loafers,
They sharpen their lasses in Spanish:
"Oh, boyfriend, monsieur, bonjour,
Guten morgen, lampshade!”
Tsar.
Invite them to a reception
Let's see what it costs here.
The minister leaves and returns with two Troyaks.
1st Troyak.
Guten morgen, hende hoch!
Every friend of us is not bad!
2nd Troyak.
We wish you a cordon,
Fuck Paris and fuck London.
Tsar.
Well, what is your name, friends?
1st Troyak.
I am a Troyak and he is a Troyak!
We are in terms of languages -
Guten Morgen, be healthy!
2nd Troyak.
In general, a complete fantasy!
The king gets up from the throne and approaches the map.
Tsar.
Where are London and Paris?
The triplets randomly point their fingers at the map.
1st Troyak.
London is here, Paris is over there.
2nd Troyak.
Near Panama City.
In geography - we are gut!
Tsar.
Yes, you are not gutt, but kaput!
I'll ask them both to leave!
Goodbye, sorry!
(To the guard)
Bring them to the gate
Show me where the turn is.
(To the Minister)
You are the Minister of Education!
What kind of talent is this?!
All oak trees,
Unmannered, rude!
Answer me, little cat,
Where are our literate people?
Is it really in the great kingdom,
Our school state
Is there anyone smarter?
Minister.
King, allow me to answer.
There are the smartest girls
Three good sisters
I sent messengers to them.
Tsar.
Where are they, after all?
Three girls with briefcases enter and bow to the king.
All.
Hello, our wise king,
Our learned sovereign!
Tsar.
Come on, come on, what kind of birds are they?
What smart girls are these?
How beautiful and neat
Pleasant to the royal eye!
I could take everyone to the embassy.
What is your name, beauties?
1st Five.
I am Five.
2nd Five.
I am Five.
Four.
And I am the youngest Four.
Tsar.
Are you friendly with science?
1st Five.
All items are important to us!
2nd Five.
There are no secondary sciences!
Four.
You definitely need to know them.
Tsar.
What about subject notebooks?
I hope everything is fine with them?
The girls take notebooks out of their briefcases and hand them to the king.
1st.
Look for yourself, sir.
Four.
And take mine, king.
The king looks at the notebooks with a satisfied look.
Tsar.
No mistakes, no flaw,
I take you all into my retinue!
Tomorrow to distant shores
The brig will rush us along the waves.
The first point is Germany.
(To the hall) Thank you for your attention!
General bow, curtain.
Sketch “Mama's Boy” (mother, son, narrator) _-Mom, I won’t go to school today, I have a headache, and the weather is not good. Cold!.- What are you talking about, son, you have a test today, you can’t miss it!- And you write a note that I felt bad, I’ll give it to the head teacher Irina Viktorovna.- It’s not good to lie, son. Get ready, get ready quickly.- Well... I don’t want to do that.- You took all the notebooks, and the books? Check it in your briefcase. Faster, faster, Otherwise you'll be late, Glebushka. Well, why don’t you want to go, because the lessons are so interesting...- Yes, it’s good for you to talk. And these lessons always give me a headache. You know how they shout in class, you can’t hear anything!- Don’t pay attention, work for yourself, that’s all!-Yes, don't worry. Koltsov teases, calls him a pancake, and Petrenko and Ivanenko recently put buttons on the chair and hid the notebooks. And Buyanov...! Oh, I don’t want to talk!- Tell them to your class teacher.- Yes, I said so. Even parents are afraid of this Koltsov!- Well, okay, I’ll go to school myself, I’ll talk to the director, the head teacher. And you, Glebushka, get ready quickly. It's almost the end of the quarter, and your salary is due today. Go to work, my friend.Gleb Egorovich Zinoviev, a young foreign language teacher, sighed, took a briefcase with notebooks and plans, put on glasses and a hat and sadly trudged to work. The only thing that consoled him was the close end of the school year and today's salary.
Poems about mom .
- The eighth of March is a special day,
- No one like a mother will regret
- And in our mothers there is gravity
- This word is wonderful - mother.
- I asked my mother: “What is happiness?”
- I asked my mother: “What is happiness?”
- I love you, mom, why I don’t know
Ditties.
- We are funny friends
- Olya washed the floors, Katya helped
- Dad solved the problem for me,
- Smoky pan
- To mom in the morning, our Mila
- We sang to you as best we could,
- Let the songs ring everywhere
Poems about grandmother.
- Me with my grandmother
- Our grandmothers are funny
- Cakes, bagels, cheesecakes
- Who came to me this morning?
- Who braided my hair?
- On your holiday so welcome
Two old women meet.
- Hello, my dear! Let's sit and chat! What are you talking about, I haven’t done my homework yet... Which lessons? Have you relapsed into childhood? It’s been a hundred years since you graduated from school! Yes? What about the grandchildren? Nowadays it’s very fashionable to do homework for your grandchildren! Who will help them besides us? Is it true? You're the one spoiling them! I?! I'm not spoiling! I'm very strict with them. Once I do my homework, they always copy it out for me. Yes! It's really strict. So if anything, ask me, I have a lot of experience! Check it out - I have a poem... “Near the Lukomorye there is a green oak tree; golden chain on that oak tree..." So good! “...Both day and night the learned wolf...” Stop! What wolf? Well, I don’t know, either steppe, or forest, or something else…. Yes, not a wolf, but a learned cat! Are you crazy, how can a wolf be smart? As far as I remember, Pushkin had a CAT!! Ahh, I get it, I get it. Then I’ll start all over again: “Near the Lukomorye there is a green oak tree, a golden chain on that oak tree, and day and night a learned cat howls at the stars with a rooster! What, what? With what rooster? To which stars? Where did you read that? Oh, what a bore you are! Well, I got it a little mixed up! After all, I have so many lessons! My head is spinning! Mathematics, Russian, geography, history... You won’t remember it right away! Listen, assistant! What are the grandchildren doing? What are they doing? They are learning smart games! Computer! I don't understand computers yet! What do you think, if I continue to study so hard, maybe they will erect a monument in my honor? It's already installed! How? Where? When? Look in your granddaughter's diary. A wonderful monument... It's called KOL. Monument to grandmothers who do homework for their grandchildren.
02.10.2016
Little Bull dreamed of school from early childhood. Many of his friends were older than the hedgehog, so he often had to be bored alone, waiting for them from class. At such moments, he really wanted to grow up faster and also go to school. School seemed like an exciting adventure to him, especially since his friends often told funny stories that happened to them during classes. Hedgehog Bull loved listening to these funny stories about school, and was looking forward to the day when he would pick up his briefcase and meet his first teacher.
A story about school: what was the hedgehog afraid of?
And such a day did not take long to arrive. One day the hedgehog's mother said that tomorrow he would go to school. Buhl was in seventh heaven. The next morning he took a large bouquet for the teacher and hurried to school. Everything there was new and unusual for him, but Buhl was not afraid at all, he froze in anticipation of interesting adventures and funny stories. But when he entered the classroom, he saw guys completely unfamiliar to him, sitting calmly at their desks. This embarrassed him a little, but still the Hedgehog was waiting for the teacher to come in and the fun to begin. 
Imagine his surprise when the teacher, instead of telling funny stories, began to explain to them that they needed to be quiet and calm at school. Children must listen carefully to her assignments, read, write and draw, but they are prohibited from running and shouting. Buhl did not like this, and when they began to copy the task from the board, he was completely confused. The little hedgehog did not do well, and he was very afraid that the teacher would scold him. In addition, Buhl did not fully understand the task, and was embarrassed to ask anyone.
After school, the hedgehog returned home upset and scared. The school turned out to be completely different from what it seemed. He barely spoke at dinner and went to bed very early. The whole night he was tormented by nightmares. He dreamed that his mother forgot to pick him up from school, that there was a monster hiding in his locker, and that he forgot to learn his homework.
In the morning, Buhl woke up in tears.
- I do not want to go to school! I'm still very young. – the hedgehog cried, surprising his mother. It was completely incomprehensible to her why the attitude of the child, who just yesterday was joyfully running to class, changed so quickly.
- Why, Bull? Aren't you interested in gaining new knowledge and meeting new friends?
- No, it’s not interesting at all, it’s scary. Don't let me go to school, please, I want to stay at home, play and read funny stories about school for children. – the hedgehog faltered at these words. Indeed, such stories were his favorite. He dreamed so much about school, but now he is afraid of it. This discrepancy made him very bitter. The baby buried his nose in the pillow and began to sob.
But the smart mother understood everything without words: her hedgehog was afraid not of school, but of a new way of life.
“Baby, there’s no need to cry.” It is natural to be afraid of the new and unknown. Even adults feel awkward when they find themselves in unusual conditions.
Hearing this, Buhl calmed down a little:
- So they won’t scold me for not doing everything well?
- Of course not. Everyone can make mistakes. That's why you went to school - to learn. Don’t be afraid to ask about everything you don’t understand, and you will definitely succeed!
“And if I give you a bad grade, won’t you stop loving me?”
- What nonsense! After all, dad and I love you not for any merits, but simply because you are our baby. In addition, some people know mathematics better, while others are good at writing essays. The main thing in school is not grades, but new knowledge! 
Buhl was already happy and wanted to go to school again, but just in case he decided to clarify one more question:
– But running and playing is absolutely, absolutely impossible, right?
Mom smiled:
– It’s possible, but only during breaks. And in class you need to listen carefully to the teacher so as not to miss anything interesting. After all, you want to know why the seasons change?
- Want Want!
Today the hedgehog ran to school even faster than yesterday. He was no longer afraid and understood how important it was to speak openly with his parents about his experiences. And a cheerful and funny story awaited him, and more than one. Do you like going to school?
Do you want to make a hedgehog with your own hands? Here are some ideas for a fun evening. Crafts "Hedgehog".
