What should a person do not want to be treated? "What should I do?" A loved one drinks and does not want to be treated. Who is convinced to start treatment?

You can't do anything without a person's desire. Apparently, she is sparing money for the operation and, judging by the situation described, there are no options...
The only way out that she could offer was to secretly euthanize her (with the knowledge of the doctors) and take her to the hospital, where the operation was performed. The main thing is that it doesn’t turn out worse, so that my mother doesn’t refuse post-operative recovery and chemotherapy. Therefore, we will consider this option as a last resort.
In the meantime, try some more persuasion. Just don’t scold her or force her, try to speak evenly and convincingly during conversations. Minimum emotions, maximum arguments.
I wish you to overcome her prejudices. And to your mother - a complete and final recovery!

, Nadyush, thank you very much for your wish!
As for putting her to sleep - that crossed my mind, but here’s the thing... Mastectomy is not done just like that, you need to go through a whole series of examinations and doctors, they won’t put her on the table right away. In addition, I don’t know how it is in Russia, but here a relative/spouse has the right to make a decision for a patient, but only if the patient’s life (critical condition) and the person is unconscious depends on it. That is, not my case. I'll try again, of course... Tomorrow she's going to the dacha, in theory, I'll try to rummage through things, find and scan the honey. card, consult with doctors on it. Again, this is also illegal. But to persuade her... I was already crying. Usually it gets through her, but not now.
I asked friends for advice, there was only one answer - it was her decision, accept it. I would see how they would humble themselves if they were in my place.

Girls, girls and women! Please examine your breasts yourself a few days before the CD and get a mammogram 1-2 times a year! Health comes first!

This is an article! And, naturally, no one will agree to this. For any surgical intervention, written consent from the patient is required. And as Santanella said, certain preoperative preparation is needed.

Perhaps what I am about to write is cruel... It is really difficult, but possible.
Try talking to your mom again, just turn off all emotions. What if he hears?

And further. Still, find the doctor who made the diagnosis, collect as much information as possible and consult with other specialists.
You need, first of all, to find out for yourself the feasibility of the operation.
Unfortunately, treatment often only prolongs the pain. It's too late for us to go to the doctors.
The postoperative period, radiation, chemotherapy is long, difficult and very painful. Both physically and psychologically. For all.

No one will perform an operation without the patient's consent. I have a somewhat similar story, of course my mother didn’t have cancer, but she also had a serious illness. I called an ambulance during the next attack and was almost forcibly taken to the hospital. I had to act tough, in the form of an ultimatum. She said so, if you don’t go to the hospital, my sister and I will never come to you and we won’t let the children in, live alone, and we can’t watch you suffer. So she agreed to the operation.

my cosmetics store - http://luckyavon.ds33.ru

It all depends on the character. In a sick person it usually becomes even more severe, stubbornness, negativity and depression prevail...
Try to gather all the relatives and people close to her. Think about whose words can be authoritative for her. Try to arrange a conversation with a good psychologist. If all of the above does not have an effect, as one of the last options, invite her to this project to read the topics, maybe some strings of her soul will be touched by some topic, and then a desire to live and create will arise.
The most important thing is to try to avoid ultimatums. And in general, stay away from quarrels. You must fulfill your role as a daughter and devoted friend. You can indulge her in everything, thousands of “yes”, except for one single “no” - the topic of treatment.

It is impossible to force a person to live against his will!...But my mother’s motivation can be understood, it seems to her that she has fulfilled her program: she has put the children on their feet! Now she feels sorry for spending money on herself!...

Maybe try to carefully express your position to her, that YOU NEED SHE!...and grandchildren!!!...Even if they are not there yet...And, as if sliding...the pressure will only cause a backlash...
And don’t walk around with a sad face!...You’ll have to try harder to pretend to be in a good mood...

I understand that this is not what the resource is about, but I need advice from sensible people.
My mom has breast cancer. She has known about this for a month, I accidentally found out a week ago. She refuses treatment, citing “it’s expensive,” “I’ll die anyway,” “nothing bad will happen, they live with it.”
Mom is 58 years old, an adult, educated woman. Requests, entreaties, quarrels, scandals, persuasion... And so on in a circle, but nothing helps.
Has anyone encountered such a problem? Please help me find an approach...
Please do not write "it's her choice." I know. But I want to change this choice.

Click to expand...

Treatment methods vary. Maybe some non-traditional methods of treatment will suit her. My mother recommends me to read Dr. Konovalov’s books. This is a doctor of medical sciences, a professor, his books are sold in any bookstore. But his methods of treatment are unconventional.
I know a woman who was also diagnosed with this. She was treated and said that she had a very strong immune system. This was in 2008, that is, 6 years have already passed. She is relatively alive and well. I wish you to overcome this problem.

Santanella, I read about your mother that she does not want to be treated. Legally, this is her right (she is conscious, there are no problems mentally, right?). Deeply religious people have the moral right to refuse treatment, and mere mortals must take care of their health, their body, as a vessel of the divine immortal spirit. In general, she is a good fellow, but if a believer even in illness sees atonement for her sins, as cleansing before moving on to another world.
By the way, in our country the treatment of cancer is 100% covered by the state, I thought it was the same for you as in the times of the USSR

Show her what she has to lose. Let her know how important it is to you not to lose her. This means she doesn’t feel enough love around her. When a person is loved and he feels this love, he will never want to part with it. Give her hope, show her that she really has something and someone to live for, and it’s not your egoism that doesn’t want to let her go.

I understand how difficult it is when a loved one is sick. Try to explain, but calmly and without hysterics, just have a heart-to-heart talk. Moreover, it is better to start the conversation not with the disease, but with an abstract topic and gradually approach what is painful. Tell your mom that you love her very much and will help her cope with her illness. Surround her with care (but unobtrusively). Help her believe that she will get better. And don’t be fooled by the “it’s expensive” excuse. There is nothing more valuable than the health of a loved one!
Be patient! and to mom - recovery and optimism!

I understand that it is difficult to advise anything in this situation, since my sister died of blood cancer. After her death, I began to study psychology.
I can advise you to read the books of Liz Burbo, she had a difficult fate. The book “Your Body Says Love Yourself” reveals the psychological causes of many diseases. Maybe by understanding these reasons, you can help your mother. And secondly, in difficult moments, our loved ones need our care, patience, and love. be healthy

Every person is a firework! People, sparkle, please!!!

I sympathize with your grief with all my heart. It's terrible when our mothers choose to "leave". Quietly melting like candles. Here above, everyone has already written about illegality, deep faith, etc. Everything is correct. But... Looks like there isn't much time left. If you can fight, fight! And most importantly - now, while she is with you - talk. About life, about relationships, about good and good... Our mothers will all leave someday. But the warmth in the heart remains.

Rather, this question should be attributed to the section of psychological assistance. Since your mother clearly has psychological barriers, moreover, due to her age, I can assume that she may be having a midlife crisis. You can’t put pressure on her or shout at her either; she should be shown what she could lose if she doesn’t start treatment.

I understand that this is not what the resource is about, but I need advice from sensible people.
My mom has breast cancer. She has known about this for a month, I accidentally found out a week ago. She refuses treatment, citing “it’s expensive,” “I’ll die anyway,” “nothing bad will happen, they live with it.”
Mom is 58 years old, an adult, educated woman. Requests, entreaties, quarrels, scandals, persuasion... And so on in a circle, but nothing helps.
Has anyone encountered such a problem? Please help me find an approach...
Please do not write "it's her choice." I know. But I want to change this choice.

Click to expand...

I understand you, many people have come to me with such problems. And yours is familiar to me firsthand. First, let her read the cure statistics, Breast cancer is operable and has a 75 percent cure rate. Yes, it’s finances, but life is more expensive. However, patients often find out their diagnosis they fall into an unwillingness to live, they lack motivation. For grandchildren, for traveling, for building a house, in general, any motivation where you can’t without it. You get the idea. Only if a person is motivated to recover, there will be an effect. And I don’t know the rules Is it possible to provide links to the project? If yes, then answer, I will give you a link to a group where people are treated magically.

I’m not persuading you, especially since I don’t demand money, but what do you have to lose if you try word treatment in addition to medication. Well, for example, if your mother or you read this prayer together, you think that it will harm. This not a panacea, but the desire to live, should provoke any action, then why not this. Here is a prayer, and then decide to read it yourself, no. Read for 12 days. (Lord, help. Lord, bless. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. As the corner of a hut is cut down and the cross of oak trees is cut down, cut down, Lord, from the servant of God (name) a cancer. So that the body does not ache and hurt, does not turn blue and does not go numb, so that the cancer does not take root, does not rush to the body, and dries up , fell away, disappeared from the white body. With the prayer of God and my work, go away, cancer from this body. Key, lock, tongue. Amen, Amen, Amen.). In any case, everything depends on faith, and then on medical help it is possible to agree.

of course, but I pray to the Lord God as befits an Orthodox person. but the Orthodox Church considers all magic to be satanic, be it white or black. You, friend, have the right way of thinking, I think, and this is my subjective thought, that you will make a good Christian believer.

At what stage is the cancer? My late teacher was diagnosed with breast cancer in the second stage, but while the doctors did not take action, they were playing for time (“Woman, how old are you, you never know what has grown there!” the so-called doctor told her), the stage became already the third.. She was treated here, in Israel and Germany - thank God, the funds allowed. But time was lost: first there was improvement after surgery and chemotherapy, and then a relapse - and that’s all... All because precious weeks were lost at the beginning of the disease. Therefore, I advise the author of the topic to convince the mother to immediately begin treatment in every possible way. Involve relatives, mother’s friends, and colleagues in persuasion.

I understand that this is not what the resource is about, but I need advice from sensible people.
My mom has breast cancer. She has known about this for a month, I accidentally found out a week ago. She refuses treatment, citing “it’s expensive,” “I’ll die anyway,” “nothing bad will happen, they live with it.”
Mom is 58 years old, an adult, educated woman. Requests, entreaties, quarrels, scandals, persuasion... And so on in a circle, but nothing helps.
Has anyone encountered such a problem? Please help me find an approach...
Please do not write "it's her choice." I know. But I want to change this choice.

Click to expand...

Do you know all the secrets of your mother's health? For example, how long does it take for scratches made by a cat to heal? Is it worth insisting on surgery at 58 years old if your mother knows better than you that scars can take a long time to heal and painfully (for example)? “I found out by chance a week ago” - did you really find out or “hear” without knowing the details that the doctor described to your mother? The age is serious enough to be more afraid of surgery than at a young age - especially since surgery for cancerous tumors is not a panacea, repeated operations, complications and other “reasons for fear” are possible. Despite the request, this is truly her choice at the moment. If only a month has passed since the diagnosis, she is unlikely to know about the disease; rather, she has “heard about it.”
As for advice - collect RELIABLE information, including recommendations that lead, if not to a cure (if it is cancer), then to a slowdown in development, sit down TOGETHER and analyze. What can you do together to avoid feeling helpless in the face of the disease for as long as possible? I don’t wish for recovery, because recovery without faith is unlikely to happen. I wish that, based on temporary symptoms, an incorrect diagnosis was made, which was rejected upon re-examination. From experience - cancer of the cerebral cortex, confirmed by a tomograph and other “rubbish” about 20 years ago and rejected a year later, since no traces remained in the body; irreversible changes on the radius in 2010, confirmed by X-rays... and no traces of irreversible (!) changes in the 2011 images. Believe me, weather forecasters are not mistaken with the weather, they are only mistaken with the date, and they make mistakes less often than doctors with diagnoses.

I think it’s still worth talking to my mother more than once. Convince her of how important she is for you personally and your family, and without surgery you will be deprived of the opportunity to be around for as long as possible... The argument now should not be her health, but your need for your mother

In your mother’s soul there is now both despair, which she is masking, and hope that the diagnosis may be wrong; she herself is now finding it difficult to accept the disease. Try to understand why she doesn’t want to be treated, is it just a financial problem. Talk to your doctor yourself. Go to church, order a magpie about health, on the Internet find a forum on oncology life before and after, people who have encountered this problem communicate there. In general, don’t give up, fight for your mother’s life, surround her with love. Health to your mother, and courage and patience to you. You will succeed!

No matter how many ropes you twist!...
Maybe you are against such a phrase, but I will still say that this is her choice, it is not for you to decide her fate. If a person resists treatment, there is no need to insist, you will only make things worse for yourself and your mother. Do you have children yourself? Come visit her more often with the children, try to spend as much time as possible with her and the children, ask for practical advice so that she feels needed by someone and there is no need to aggravate the situation.

You might not like what I have to say. My mother died of ovarian cancer a year ago. The stage there was already late (the tumor was discovered during surgery, they thought that they would cut out the polyps. But there were already metastases and so on). So here it is. People die from cancer during treatment, even with good prognoses - it is an unpredictable disease. In its treatment, the main thing is not drugs, but the strength of spirit and will of a person. So that he wants to live, so that he believes in himself. The body itself can defeat diseases. If mom doesn’t want surgery, that’s her choice, forgive me, I remember that you asked not to write this, but still. Moreover, surgery for the treatment of oncology is only the beginning. Then there will be chemotherapy, which in itself is worse than any operation, believe me. And lately, the more I think about it, the more I suspect that it does more harm than good, because... it kills the body’s independent recovery mechanisms. On the one hand, I understand your mother. Perhaps because I saw the “other” side of cancer - with treatment.

I can advise you on truly unconventional treatment methods. Not only those with “herbs,” but in general - therapeutic fasting, changing diet - switching to a healthy diet, spiritual practices (meditation, color healing, "color" breathing, etc.). You can read books by non-traditional doctors, they have already been recommended to you above, I can also recommend Ivan Neumyvakin. These are really doctors, not charlatans, only with a different view of the world and medicine. And the main thing is to believe in yourself. This is really the main thing. My mother buried herself long before her death with her attitude towards the disease and her life. As far as I know, doctors found Daria Dontsova had breast cancer, it seemed to be in the last stage, inoperable, and they gave her six months. However, the man is still alive and well. If I'm not mistaken, she even wrote a book about this...

How smart a wife must be so that her husband has no doubt that she is a fool...

You must help your mother make a decision and still perform the operation. Without surgery there is no chance at all, the person will definitely die, and it will happen quite quickly and painfully. And with the operation there will be a chance to survive and get rid of the disease. Many women have already heard such a diagnosis in adulthood, and some even young women. I personally know this woman, she is now 65 years old, the operation was performed 10 years ago. Therefore, everything went well and she is alive. ALIVE. What would have happened if I hadn’t gone to the hospital then?
We need to convince mom that all is not lost, and we need to fight to the end and not give up. 58 years old is absolutely not an old person. Elderly, yes, but not old or decrepit! And the outcome of the operation will largely depend on the patient’s mood and his faith in his recovery.

Click to expand...

I cannot but agree, there have been cases of miraculous healing of people at all times, and they have always caused bewilderment among doctors and scientists, to say the least. But in this case, I think it is important for a woman not to waste time and start treatment earlier, while the situation is not so advanced. This is what I say - surgery is a last resort! Maybe, perhaps somehow with medications, hormonal therapy.... I'm not a doctor, I don't know.
And regarding willpower and the will to live, you are 100% right. You can’t give up and become limp, you have to fight, at least try to do something.

It's difficult to give advice in such a situation. The fact that your mother will die anyway is wrong, many are cured, the main thing is to find a very good doctor. Life is not worth any money, you have to fight and not fold your arms. I don’t know what exactly to advise, I really don’t know.

I’ll tell you something that’s probably not pleasant, but you have to respect your mother’s opinion. I don’t know what stage of cancer your mother has, but if it’s 3-4 there’s no chance. My friend had a father who died of cancer, and he also did not want to be treated. The treatment was terribly expensive, and he was stage 4. Moreover, he did not want to spend his last days in the hospital. He died a year later. But he lived this year, one might say, happily, surrounded by his family, and died the same way. They still spent a lot of money. If they were fully treated for cancer, they would be left in debt from which they would not be able to recover.

A friend of mine also had breast cancer. I didn’t want treatment for a long time and am undergoing chemotherapy after the operation. But with conviction and persuasion. Still, they had the operation. Of course, it was expensive, and it was necessary to resume after the operation. They persuaded him for a long time, and said that, like a son, who will he stay with? And then she agreed. Now every quarter, or half a year in my opinion. Drives and is checked. Good luck and get your mom healthy quickly.