Why does it feel better when you cry. Why do you want to cry for no reason? Severe stress due to long-standing events

When was the last time you cried for a long time? Crying immediately helps to feel better, as it relieves stress in the body. But if you don't cry for months or even years, you may find it hard to remember how to do it. Choose a quiet place, get rid of distractions and let your emotions run wild. This will help you get in the right state. In this article, you will learn how to make yourself cry.

Steps

How to stop being embarrassed about tears

Forget everything you've been told about crying. Were you taught that brave people don't cry? Many people who have been taught to keep their emotions to themselves have trouble expressing their feelings as adults. However, crying is a natural part of life and everyone needs crying to maintain their mental health. Crying can be a reaction to sadness, pain, fear, joy, and any strong emotion. This is a completely normal way to feel these emotions.

Consider the benefits of crying. Crying is a way to release emotional stress. This is a natural reaction to accumulated emotions and a way to release feelings. Interestingly, humans are the only mammals that produce tears in response to emotions. Crying is a survival mechanism that helps us in several ways:

Understand why you don't let yourself cry. Now that you know the benefits of crying, think about what keeps you from crying. If you have not been able to cry for a long time, you may need to make a conscious effort on yourself and let your emotions out.

• Do you have a negative attitude towards crying? If so, try to change your views and understand that there is nothing wrong with crying - it is good for your health.
• Do you find it difficult to express your emotions? Allowing yourself to cry will help you work on expressing your emotions. If you learn to reframe your emotions in this way, it will be easier for you to express other emotions as well.
• When you suppress your feelings and don't let yourself cry, the emotions don't go anywhere. Because of them, either anger or a feeling of emptiness can arise.

1. Allow yourself to cry. Crying is an expression of self-care. Through crying, you acknowledge your emotions rather than dismissing them or denying them. When you cry, you allow yourself to be yourself. This emotional freedom has a positive impact on mental health.

   • If you do not allow yourself to express emotions, remember yourself as a child. Think about how freely you expressed your emotions then: how could you cry because an interesting day is coming to an end, or because you fell off your bike and skinned your knees. In adulthood, the events that cause tears will be different from the events of childhood, but try to remember the feelings of emotional freedom that you once had.
   • Think about how you treat other people when they cry. Are you asking them to stop and keep the feelings to themselves? If your best friend is crying because of an overabundance of emotions, you probably hug her and tell her that she needs to let her feelings out. It is important to treat yourself the same way: do not limit yourself, and it will be easier for you to allow yourself to cry.

   How to prepare for crying

   1. Find a suitable place to cry. Many people find it difficult to cry because they are used to experiencing their emotions alone, away from everyone. It may be easier for you to feel your emotions if no one is watching you. There is nothing wrong with crying in front of another person, but you may want to try crying by yourself first.

      • A bedroom is suitable if it is a calm and secluded place.
      • If you live with several people, try driving to a secluded place and crying in the car. Get behind the wheel only in a calm state - crying while driving is very dangerous.
      • Try to cry in the shower - no one will hear you there.
      • Nature can set you in the right mood. Look for a secluded spot in a park or on the beach.

   2. Get rid of distractions. Many people suppress their feelings and distract themselves in order not to cry. This technique is so effective that it allows you to avoid crying for months and even years. Do you turn on the TV at the first sign of sadness to watch a comedy? The next time you feel sad, resist that urge and allow yourself to feel the emotion. This is the first step to full crying.

      • There are other distractions as well. You can stay late at work, spend all the time in the company of other people so as not to be alone with yourself, or read articles on the Internet until you fall asleep. Think about what you do when you don't feel like analyzing your emotions. Make a decision to stop these activities and pay more attention to feelings.

   3. Think about what makes you sad. In order not to be distracted by something insignificant, focus on emotions. Analyze them, don't push them away.

      • If you feel sad, think about what event triggered those emotions. Think about how you would like to avoid it, and how your life was before and will be now. Allow yourself to reflect and feel the loss.
      • Whatever emotions make you want to cry, consider them carefully and let them take place in your mind. Watch how much they make you nervous, and think about how good it will be for you if the problem disappears.

   4. Let the emotions build up until you can't cry. Do you feel a lump stuck in your throat? Do not try to get rid of this feeling and do not force yourself to stop thinking about what makes you feel sad. Let your emotions take over. Keep thinking about an event you wish you had avoided in the past. When you feel that tears have appeared in your eyes, let them flow.

      Feel how you feel better. When you stop crying, think about how you feel. Most people feel relieved after crying. You may not be cheered up right away, but you will certainly become calmer and ready to face challenges. Remember this feeling. Start crying when you feel the need to. Over time, you will become easier to do this.

   How to induce crying

   Look at old photographs. If you are worried about an individual, your family, or life changes, look at the photos - it will make you cry. Get out an old photo album or look at pictures online. Consider them for as long as you like. Recall happy times with the people in the photos or places you liked.

   1. Watch a sad movie. You might find it helpful to watch a movie with a storyline that can make you cry. Even if the characters are in a completely different situation, if you see how difficult it is for them and how they cry, it will be easier for you to cry. If a movie makes you cry, think about your situation to make sense of your feelings. Below is a list of sad movies you should watch:

      • "Steel Magnolias";
      • "Stella Dallas";
      • "Cutting the Waves";
      • "Valentine";
      • "Rudy";
      • "Green Mile";
      • "Schindler's list";
      • "Puzzle";
      • "Titanic";
      • "Boy in striped pajamas";
      • "My daughter";
      • "Marley and Me";
      • "Book Thief";
      • "Room";
      • "Romeo + Juliet";
      • "Diary of member";
      • "The Fault in the Stars";
      • "Dedicated";
      • "Up";
      • "Old liar";
      • "Red Fern Flower";
      • "Hachiko";
      • "Forrest Gump".

   2. Listen to sad music. Appropriate music will help you "rock" the emotions. Try listening to an album or song that you listened to at another time in your life, or music that reminds you of a person who is no more. If you don't have such special songs or musicians, try listening to something from this list:

      • "Not the Love We Dream Of" - Gary Newman;
      • "Lost" - Gary Newman;
      • "I"m So Lonesome I Could Cry" - Hank Williams;
      • "Hurt" - Johnny Cash;
      • "Tears in Heaven" - Eric Patrick Clapton;
      • "On My Own" - the film "Les Misérables" (2012);
      • "Jolene" - Dolly Rebecca Parton;
      • "Motion Picture Soundtrack (solo piano)" - Radiohead;
      • "Say it Like You Mean It" - Matchbook Romance;
      • "I" ve Been Loving You Too Long "- Otis Redding;
      • "How Could This Happen To Me" - Simple Plan;
      • "I Know You Care" - Ellie Goulding;
      • "Goodbye My Lover" - James Blunt;
      • "Carry You Home" - James Blunt;
      • "All By Myself" - Celine Dion;
      • "My Heart Will Go On" - Celine Dion;
      • "Young and Beautiful" - Lana Del Rey;
      • "The Ice Is Getting Thinner" - Death Cab for Cutie;
      • "Too Late" - M83;
      • "Welcome to the Black Parade" - My Chemical Romance;
      • "With Light There is Hope" - Princess One Point Five;
      • "Apologize" - One Republic;
      • "Night Owl" - Gerry Rafferty;
      • "Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space" - Spiritualized;
      • "8 Billion" - Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross;
      • "Cry Like a Rainstorm" - Linda Ronstadt;
      • "Shot" - Rochelle Jordan;
      • "The Call" - Regina Spektor;
      • "Blue Lips" - Regina Spektor;
      • "If You Could See Me Now" - The Script;
      • "Street Spirit (Fade Out)" - Radiohead;
      • "Remember Everything" - Five Finger Death Punch;
      • "Scars" - Papa Roach;
      • "Var" - Sigur Rós;
      • "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" - The Script;
      • "Coming Down" - Five Finger Death Punch;
      • "The Scientist" - Coldplay;
      • "Wait" - M83;
      • "Wound" - Arch (Alejandro Guersi);
      • "Echoes of Silence" - The Weeknd;
      • "Fourth of July" - Sufjan Stevens;
      • "One more light" - Linkin Park;
      • "Youth" - Daughter;
      • "Don" t Cry For Me Argentina "- Madonna;
      • "I"m Sorry" - John Denver;
      • "Iris" - The Goo Goo Dolls.
   • Feel free to cry. All people do it.
   • Bring a water bottle and paper towels as you will need them.
   • If you feel like crying while studying, do so in a private place (such as a bathroom).
   • If you feel like crying during class, put your face down or hide behind a book. Don't make sounds. Try not to sob. Keep tissues handy and wipe away tears as soon as they run down your face. If you have long hair or bangs, hide your eyes underneath.
   • It's better to talk about your emotions with people instead of hoarding them. People will be ready to help you.
   • Remember that hurting yourself will not help you get rid of the pain.
   • If your parents tell you not to cry, cry quietly. The main thing is not to restrain yourself. You can also quietly cry on the street, or at least so that you are not seen by your parents or guardians.
   • If you cry in the shower, you can easily explain why you are crying. Say you got soap in your eyes or that the water was too cold or hot.
   • If you have some time to calm down, do something nice to make you feel better.
   • Crying can be a reaction to any change. If you are feeling strong emotions about a situation, take advantage of it and do something about it. Crying will allow you to listen to your emotions. If you can solve a problem by talking about your feelings to someone, do it.
   • Sometimes a person feels the need to cry. Don't hold yourself back. Remember that crying is normal, all people cry. Don't scold yourself. Take a couple of deep breaths and cry until you calm down.

   Warnings

   • Don't cry in front of the people you're arguing with. Cry alone or with someone you trust.
   • Do not go to places where you can not enter, at work or at school, to cry. You may have problems.
   • Cry if your mascara is waterproof.

According to statistics, women cry an average of 47 times a year, while men only cry 7 times. But you can cry more often with a light heart and it will only benefit you.

And that's why.

STRESS AND VOLTAGE

Tears always arise from any experiences. Except when you're peeling onions, of course. And these experiences, whether they are joyful or bitter, require their release. There is nothing worse than gathering into a fist at this moment and clamping down on emotions. So you will only destroy your nervous system.

Do you want to cry? Cry. You see that a person is crying - let him cry, do not stop. According to medical research, 88.9% of people after crying feel a significant improvement in their condition. And only 8.4% - deterioration.

CRYING REDUCES BLOOD PRESSURE

When you cry, your heart rate decreases and your blood pressure drops. This is another study conducted with participants in psychotherapy groups, during which they cried a lot and from the heart.

CRYING PAIN RELIEFS

Our body is designed in such a way that during crying, a large number of hormones are produced that reduce pain. Therefore, it doesn’t matter if you got burned or he didn’t call back - you will feel better if you cry.

TEARS MAKE YOU HAPPY

Paradoxical? No. If you allow yourself to experience emotions in their entire range, without avoiding even the most difficult ones, you will more acutely feel those moments when you are truly happy. This is a kind of gymnastics for the psyche.

Conversely, low emotionality is most likely associated with mental problems. Agree, a person who reacts to the news of the birth of his son and the news of the death of his beloved dog with the same “ah, I see” is at least suspicious.

THIS WILL MAKE YOU BREATHE EASIER

Tears pass through the tear duct and nasal passage where they come into contact with mucus. We all snot when we cry. And this is good and right, as everything is conceived by nature.

IT PROTECTS YOUR EYES

Okay, emotional tears sorted out. There are tears that arise from irritation of the eyes. Dust, wind, smell of onion or pepper - all this causes profuse lachrymation. Don't rush to dry your eyes to save your makeup. Let yourself cry and clear your eyeballs of all irritants. Tears, among other things, also disinfect your eyes.

Hint: if you are crying because you rubbed your eyes with your hands after slicing a hot pepper, do not rush to wash your face with water. It just won't help. Capsaicin, the main pungent substance in peppers, does not dissolve in water. It is fat soluble. Therefore, wash your hands with full fat milk, cream or vegetable oil, rinse with soap. And after that, just wash your face with the same fats. Clean hands.

Based on materials

Every person wants to cry from time to time, regardless of gender and age. It has long been scientifically proven that crying helps to relieve excessive tension of the nervous system, promotes emotional release. But what if you want to cry all the time or very often? Is this desire a symptom of some serious disorder?

Why do you often want to cry?

If you want to cry often, for the most insignificant reasons, or even without them, this is not the norm. Such a desire is caused by certain physiological changes in the body or causes of a psychological nature.

One of the most common reasons why you want to cry all the time is hormonal changes. This nuisance is more common in women. The hormonal background changes with the onset of pregnancy, after childbirth, after the completion of breastfeeding. Often, the hormonal balance is disturbed after an abortion, in the event of a miscarriage or missed pregnancy. During menopause, the hormonal background changes very much, and from this a woman feels a lot of unpleasant symptoms. Hormonal failure also occurs in men as a result of a number of diseases, alcohol and cigarette abuse, as well as against the background of chronic stress.

Both women and men in the case of hormonal changes are characterized by similar symptoms: weight gain, decreased libido, a feeling of constant fatigue, even after a full night's sleep. “I want to cry all the time,” people complain at a psychologist’s appointment. Both men and women suffering from hormonal failure note frequent mood swings, women complain about the appearance of tearfulness. And you want to cry in the most inappropriate places and for no apparent reason. In men, the desire to cry also appears, they just complain about it much less often.

Chronic fatigue, recently experienced severe emotional stress can also cause tearfulness. If you can’t get enough sleep for a long time and at least relax a little, metabolic processes in the body are disturbed, the nervous system is depleted, and immunity is reduced. A chronically sleep-deprived person becomes irritable, whiny, he has a feeling of apathy, he is absent-minded and forgetful. If sleep deprivation lasts long enough, it can lead to serious diseases, including stroke and diabetes.

Presence of intrapersonal conflict often also causes a desire to cry often, and can also lead to such reactions as a sharp change in mood, unreasonable aggression, prolonged (sometimes up to several weeks) fever, exacerbation of chronic diseases or the development of psychosomatic diseases. Intrapersonal conflicts arise when diametrically opposed desires, needs, values, goals and ideals collide within a person's personality. For example, such a conflict is often typical for women leaders - after all, on the one hand, they are required to give full dedication at work, and on the other, they want to be good wives and mothers.

What if I want to cry?

If tearfulness is associated with postpartum depression, it is usually advised to simply wait. When breastfeeding improves and the hormonal background stabilizes, everything will return to normal. With tearfulness and other troubles associated with menopause, you should consult a doctor - he will select drugs that will help to survive this difficult time for a woman with the least discomfort.

In any case, if there is a suspicion of hormonal failure, it is better to consult a doctor. After all, the result of hormonal imbalance can be not only obesity, chronic fatigue and tearfulness, but later serious diseases begin to develop against this background. The doctor will give a referral for a blood test for hormones, and if the diagnosis is confirmed, he will select a special hormonal therapy.

If a constant desire to cry, irritation and absent-mindedness are associated with chronic fatigue and lack of sleep, then you need to take a time out and have a good rest, because all of the above symptoms are a signal from the body: “Master, give me some rest, I’m not getting enough sleep, a little more, and we will get sick !" There is nothing more valuable than a good night's sleep. If workloads are so heavy that you have to sacrifice sleep, you need to urgently take measures to reallocate your time. If you start to be a hero, then the body will take revenge. It will not be possible to win anyway - after all, in the case of chronic lack of sleep, a person starts to work more slowly, and attention is scattered, and the likelihood of errors in work increases. If a young mother lacks sleep, she definitely needs help. If there is no one to help, then sleep at least when the child sleeps.

As for intrapersonal conflicts, it is sometimes very difficult to recognize their presence in oneself. This may require the help of a specialist. If hormonal failure and chronic fatigue are excluded, and irritability, a feeling of dissatisfaction and a constant desire to cry do not leave you, you should contact a psychologist, because unresolved intrapersonal conflicts lead, in the end, to quite real and not at all harmless diseases.

You should not hesitate to visit a psychologist in the case when, after severe stress associated with events such as the loss of loved ones or a divorce, tearfulness, anxiety, a feeling of hopelessness occur and this state persists for several months.

What if it's depression?

Such a dangerous disease as depression can also be accompanied by a frequent desire to cry, a feeling of apathy, weakness, exacerbation of chronic diseases. The characteristic symptoms of depression are also the following: the patient is not happy with anything, nothing can give him pleasure, he is constantly tormented by anxiety, accompanied by melancholy, a feeling of depression and thoughts of suicide. A sick person sees absolutely everything in a black light: the world around him, himself and his future.

You need to know that depression is not a weakness, not an inability to pull yourself together - it is a disease, and it requires special treatment. In the absence of such treatment, patients in the vast majority of cases die by committing suicide.

Depression is chemical. Due to severe or very prolonged stress in the body, there is a shortage of chemicals - neuromodulators that ensure the normal state of the brain tissue and the vital activity of the brain. Deficiency of neuromodulators, in particular serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine, leads to the above symptoms. To treat depression, drugs are needed - antidepressants, which make up for the deficiency of substances vital for brain activity and restore mental health.

In mild cases, herbal preparations are sufficient, in more severe cases, serious complex therapy will be required, sometimes a person needs to take antidepressants constantly to maintain a normal level of neuromodulators, just like a patient with diabetes needs insulin.

It is very difficult to identify depression in yourself, but if you notice its symptoms in loved ones, do not hesitate, be sure to find a way to consult a person with a good psychotherapist and start treatment.

If you pay attention to small children, you will see that if they rejoice, then from the bottom of their hearts, and if they cry, then from the heart and in such a way that it is difficult to stop them. And if they cry, it is so inconsolable that it seems that there is only pain in the world and nothing and no one will calm them down.

But that's how this pain in this world goes away. I'm always amazed. You cry like this in the evening or day (depending on the severity of the situation) and in the morning you notice that life is somehow easier and everything is not so scary. Psychologists call this "quality" crying. Here children know how to cry, and adults are already unlearning. Why?

It is very difficult for parents, almost impossible to endure children's crying. Not because they are cruel or they don't like children or they are tired. Parents feel helpless, they do not know how to help the child, they also feel pain and despair. At such moments it is very difficult to just "be close to the child" and comfort him. This is where parent words come from:

Do not Cry

Come on, you won't cry, and you and I will buy a new toy (candy)

Stop crying

Or maybe worse:

No one will love such a capricious girl!

How many times discussed! Are you a disgrace to us!

Are you a girl?!

In the future, as we grow older, we lose the invaluable ability to cry, and therefore to experience uncomfortable emotions. Feelings of resentment, shame, guilt, disappointment can torment us for years. As a result, people may even cease to understand what makes them feel bad. There is discomfort, I want to cry, but why is unknown. These feelings torment us turning into depression, melancholy, depression.

How to learn it again?

It is very important to cry about what you are grieving. In adulthood, you already accumulate so many insults and pain that it is not clear where your "legs grow from." As I wrote above: there is discomfort, a whining state, and why it is such a state is not clear. It is necessary to feel for yourself childhood psychotrauma and resentment under the accumulated layer of other pain.

Cry to someone who makes you feel safe in their presence. It's like being a parent as a child. After all, it is always so nice when a mother can hug, pity, stroke, listen, bring some water, cover with a blanket. If there is no such safe person, then it is important that we can become this person ourselves. Our children's part is grieving, crying. Our inner Parent "is nearby" (which, most likely, our parents did not know how to do in our childhood).

Third and most important, as the most difficult: you need to give yourself permission to these feelings. Allow yourself to be defenseless, whiny, grieving. Do not judge or criticize yourself. “It’s worth the tears, because it’s so bitter”, “Cry and it will become easier”, “I’ll make myself some tea now”, “Of course it’s terribly insulting”, etc.

You will see that gradually life will sparkle with new colors. Along with the ability to live pain, you will see that the ability to rejoice will return.