About freedom and self-will. If a guy stopped loving me, should I blame myself, or was it not my fate? What if the love is not mutual? Asking the priest the sin of self-will

There is a certain segment of people who are not averse to visiting the temple, from time to time to go to confession and take communion (say, once a year), but at the same time believe that:

1. Biblical commandments and church rules of piety are difficult to fulfill, especially for a modern person;
2. These commandments deprive a person of the joys of earthly life, and sometimes contradict the very nature of man;

It is characteristic that this opinion is usually expressed when it is necessary to justify “free” sexual relations “without a stamp” in front of a priest at confession, then non-observance of fasts, the absence of a home prayer rule, etc.

If you look at the commandments as a set of rules given for the purpose of moral education, the above statements may well be a topic for discussion. But the fact of the matter is that these commandments are based on a certain understanding of the nature of man and the purpose of his life. That is, they cannot be understood in isolation from Christian anthropology.

So. I dare say that the 10 biblical commandments, the Sermon on the Mount of the Savior, and so on. - limiting our self-will, enable a person to gain freedom.

Imagine a driver behind the wheel. On the way, he meets various signs and indicators - speed limits, a ban on turning, etc. There are also traffic rules. You may decide that there are too many of them - try to observe all this! “But I’m late for a business meeting! ..”; “I have a meeting with a girl! ..”; “The guys are already calling: the bathhouse has been heated, the moonshine from Belovezhskaya Pushcha has been brought in, the shish kebab is “ripe” - I’m late! ..” And in general, what Russian does not like fast driving ( especially if in the blood - 0.1 or more ppm)!

What do you think will happen to this driver? Perhaps a few times "carry". But, sooner or later, an accident can be guaranteed. And instead of a destination, a person ends up in a ditch, or even in intensive care. Neither there nor there - there is no freedom.

This is self-will - the desire to "steer" according to one's own concepts, regardless of the accumulated experience of others, which is embodied in the rules and road signs.

These rules are likely to be imperfect. But they create quite a sufficient level of safety on the roads. And if I go, observing them - then freely I achieve my goal - say, the city of Minsk, and in it - my entrance and apartment.

That., freedom is the conscious acceptance of the rules and restrictions necessary to achieve a goal.

For a Christian, the goal of life is to become a temple of the Holy Spirit, to reach the Kingdom of Christ. But, since for many this sounds too high, I will put it simply. Perhaps we all want to learn how to be happy.

On the way to achieve this goal, there are also rules of motion. For a Christian, they are expressed in the New Testament. There are also psychological, social rules for building family relationships, behavior in society. There are rules for building healthy relationships in a work team. And so on.

I may not accept them. I can't even bother to get to know them properly. And in general, God is Love, He must forgive me my mistakes! And I didn’t rob or kill, I live more or less like a decent person (according to my own system of values, of course). So, I am simply obliged to be accepted into paradise ... As for the family - I love this girl (guy) - and love itself will teach you everything! Therefore, we do not need psychology!

Only, like the rules of the road, spiritual, family and social laws apply regardless of whether I know and accept them. Therefore, if I have Indeed there is a goal- to become happy - to ignore these commandments is simply unreasonable. Otherwise, you should not be surprised later why I am “in a ditch” - still here on earth, when “tear” and depression become constant companions. And for some reason it’s scary to stand before the Lord in eternity ...

But there is another interesting question - do I generally choose the right goals to achieve? Will they really give me the expected fullness of being and happiness? Here, drunk suddenly comes to mind somewhere for some reason to go. He is completely convinced of the importance of this trip, and knows exactly its purpose. He gets behind the wheel - and goes - if there is no one to stop him in time. And having sobered up (sometimes - already in handcuffs) - he himself does not understand or does not remember what thoughts he was guided by ...

It happens in life too. A person sets a goal for himself to create a family - only after creation he sees that the goal was chosen prematurely, he is not ready for marriage. And the family, if not falling apart, then "bursting at the seams." Or - the goal was chosen from false motives (“jumping out to get married” to escape from a dysfunctional parental family; confusing pity for a man with love; they see a housewife and a body for sexual intimacy in a spouse, etc.). Or - it was expected that with career growth there would be satisfaction with life. And after reaching the desired fast, a void opened up in the soul, and the difficulties associated with fasting turned out to be a burden.

How correctly defined is my global goal of life, which will be the dominant, and from which my actions and deeds will follow?

And here we come to the topic of sin.

Sin is not just a transgression of the commandments, not only “irritated, overeating, lazy to pray,” as it usually sounds in a standard confession. At depth, sin is the choice of purpose and path. It will be easier for me to convey the meaning of sin by drawing a parallel with addictions. There is a saying in the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous that alcoholism is the ultimate rebellion of self-will. In my opinion, alcoholism and other psychoactive addictions are the most vivid manifestation of being infected with sin, creating idols from ourselves and from the world, striving to become a god without God. In sin, I'm looking for heaven for myself - the way I want it to be. When I commit a sin, I am engaged in self-affirmation.

Sin is choosing a goal other than God, outside of God, without God.

There is such a thing - the constitution of the body. This is a set of initial parameters, laws, functions inherent in this body, within which the organism develops and lives. But it cannot go beyond the constitution. For example, I can't change my hair from black to brown (dyeing my hair doesn't count). A sanguine person can learn to control his behavior and feelings, but he is unlikely to become a phlegmatic person. Taking hormonal drugs to accelerate growth or increase the length of the legs - in addition to doubtful effect, is likely to harm health. Attempts to go beyond the limits of one's psycho-physical constitution threaten with destruction.

There is also a spiritual constitution. According to the Bible, man was originally created with certain parameters and tasks, which are described in the Bible as follows: "and God created man in His own image and likeness." The image of God in man is his constitution. Similarity, i.e., the ability to become like the Creator, to draw closer to Him, is his goal. It was natural for him to strive for his Prototype, to reveal and develop the bestowed abilities, ultimately transforming his life into communion with God. And while he walked along this path, observing the rules - the commandments given in paradise and the restriction (not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil) - he was free.

But people wanted to be gods - without God. They wanted to manage their own lives, to find the purpose and meaning of life outside their Prototype, subdue peace to yourself, to become autocratic. i.e., they tried to change the purpose of life and go beyond their constitution. As a result, they mutilated their own spiritual and psychophysical nature. There was a violation of all spheres of life. The spirit broke away from God and began to atrophy. The soul - was no longer dependent on the spirit, but on the body. The body, unable to sustain life on its own, became dependent on the world. But after all, the world, given by the Creator to man, is also torn off by him from the Divine energy, and turned out to be doomed to mortality. And, therefore, depending on the mortal world, man also became mortal.

“A man ate the forbidden fruit, thinking that it would give him life. But food itself outside and without God is the communion of death. It is no coincidence that what we eat must be already dead in order to become our food. We eat to live, but precisely because we eat something devoid of life, food itself leads us steadily towards death. And in death there is not and cannot be life. The thirst for immortality remained (however, often successfully lulled by the roar of civilization), but it became impossible to quench it. Any attempts to circumvent the law of death, to achieve immortality with the "autocratic hand" - through magic or technical achievements - are doomed to failure. This is the first consequence of the fall.

The second global consequence is discord in the person himself, loss of integrity. During the fall, fragmentation occurred. All God-given talents, abilities, feelings, ceased to depend on the spirit, and were out of touch with each other. Having ceased to serve their intended purpose - deification - they turned out to be, each in itself, an end in itself, just as cancer cells that have become detached from the body and ceased to fulfill their function, which grow at the expense of the whole organism, become an end in itself. That is, they were reborn into passions that can even compete with each other for the possession of a person, his resources.

Freedom turns into willfulness, which inevitably leads to total lack of freedom (I’m not sure that this needs to be explained, it’s so obvious - just like the lack of freedom of a driver who finds himself in a ditch with a deformed car is obvious). And also in imposing their will on others - from the family, and ending with authoritarian rule in entire states. The ability to love is reborn into egocentrism and selfishness. The natural attraction to the other sex to create a family (the Creator's commandment - "be fruitful and multiply"; "it is not good for a man to be alone") is reborn into lust and fornication. The desire for food (paradise is given to man as the Lord's meal) and the need to satiate, instead of maintaining physical and emotional strength - into the use of food as a valuable process in itself, even to the detriment of health.

The gift of creativity is used in such a way that it threatens the destruction of civilization, both in the spiritual (degeneration at the level of culture) and in the physical plane (man-made disasters). The desire for spiritual development was inherent in a person - but now it leads to the fact that magic and the occult turn out to be an everyday phenomenon. The thirst for God leads to the creation of idols, false religions, cults, sects. The invested desire for happiness is replaced by the pursuit of pleasures, through which it is so easy to manipulate, and turns into addiction to drugs, gambling, etc. The possession of the world commanded by the Creator is perverted into the desire for power, wealth, and luxury. Joy from self-consciousness and from the development of one's abilities degenerates into pride and vanity...

The list goes on. This is sin - fragmentation, passion, mortality, loss of orientation, when a person is controlled by his own inclinations, which do not obey the mind and spirit, but "carry" and "carry" a person.

As for the mind and will, they have become an instrument for the realization of passionate inclinations. The mind - thinks about how to realize the attraction of the victorious passion, the will - directs the actions of a person towards its realization. It all depends on which of the passions is now stronger than the others. I no longer live, but they live by me. Each passion can "consider itself" self-sufficient - and "compete" for the possession of a person and his will with others. For example, a greedy person may want to “show off” in front of people significant to him, and will perform a charity event - vanity has won in him. A proud person can force himself to “adjust” to his superiors in order to achieve power: “I am ready to humiliate myself, if only to get a little closer to a sweet goal.”

And this suits a person - like any drug, sin gives euphoria. First of all - the euphoria of "self" ...

This is the state of man after the fall. I don’t know about anyone, but I can’t call this state normal. I am poisoned by sin, like a drug, from which the consciousness is distorted, when both the mind and the will are directed to the requirements of the sin acting in me.

That's why I need an honest "mirror" - to remind me of who I am in reality, who I was before the fall in paradise, and who I can be in the Kingdom of Christ. Remind me of that lofty goal to which I am called, and on the way to which I gain freedom and the ability to be happy.

No, not some innocent pleasures and "natural instincts" forbid the commandments of the Bible. They put a limit to self-will, and lead to that freedom that was once lost by Adam, but the return to which was granted to us by the New Adam - Our Lord and Savior and God Jesus Christ.

Selfishness, willfulness, willfulness

There is in man three very strong reasons with which his fallen nature opposes the assimilation of the disposition of Christ. First of them - enslaves his mind, it self-conceit and self-conceit ; second - enslaves his heart, it waywardness ; And third- enslaves his will, it willfulness . All three make up the fallen disposition of a person, they together are his bad temper, i.e. lack of the disposition of God. Ignorance is the abomination of desolation. We often use the word "abomination of desolation" to look for what is outside... This is how it most often happens. Churches that have strayed into heresy, towns and villages without churches, live in an abomination of desolation. But the human soul, which is all turned into these three self-pleasing proud foundations, is also in the abomination of desolation.

Let's focus on these three. The first foundation is that which enslaves the human mind - conceit. Every person has plenty of it. Some have an opinion about themselves as a person who is quite good, well-behaved, kind, capable, developed, highly educated. For example, one says: "I am an educated person." Why? - "I have a high school diploma." Another says: “I am also an educated person, although I am lower than you, because I have a matriculation certificate for high school, but I graduated from it with “4” and “5”. And the other says: “But I graduated with a silver medal.” , and the third says: "And I'm on the gold." At this moment, they show conceit, because a person chooses for himself the criterion by which he evaluates himself and through this he claims a certain attitude of people towards himself.

Saint Theophan the Recluse considers in the book "The Path to Salvation" such self opinion: "I am a Christian." And this self-conceit "gives" him the right now to go to church without fail. Is there a blessing from God for this? But a person does not delve into the Providences of God, does not hear the will of God. He has an conceit that Christianity is better than non-Christianity. And he considers it his duty to church everyone - sorcerers, Baptists, atheists, all his neighbors and relatives, being guided only by his conceit. In self-conceit, a person does not surrender into the hands of God, is not guided by the will of God, it is not it that constitutes the value of his life. value in his life he himself

.

Another reason is self-imposed- it means to have your opinion to everything and everything around. This is an extremely serious disease of the human mind. Let's try to get to the bottom of this and understand how but its heaviness lies.

A believer needs a meeting with the temper of Christ. The greatest possible encounter with Christ for every Christian is the encounter in the Sacraments. Often we have no other personal relationship with the Lord. After all, now the Lord does not bodily abide among us, and therefore we cannot meet Him with our own eyes, since we meet each other every day. How can we know the character of Christ? There are only three sources: the Sacraments, where the Lord gives His grace, the Word of God, the Gospel, as well as the works of the Holy Fathers, revealing its content. The Holy Fathers revealed to us in their creations the image of Christ. We can learn the image of Christ's disposition only with the help of the Gospel and patristic writings.

self-doubt- this is the ability of a person to make his immediate (or after some labor) judgment about this or that phenomenon, thing or event about everything. Let's imagine how the gospel meets not the thirst for the disposition of God, but human self-will. In this case, a person makes his own, personal opinion about what he read. For example, he reads the Commandment of God: " Blessed are the poor in spirit". And it comes to a stupor. Self-esteem has nothing to rely on. Many remember, probably, the first meeting with this commandment ... Some kind of complete mystery in this Commandment, it is completely unknown what it says ... Gradually reading patristic interpretations ", a person slowly, slowly begins to contain the content of this commandment. And from some moment, it seems to him, he clearly understands what it is. And he says: "Now I understand the Commandment of God. "Alas, from the moment he said "understood," and the triumph of his self-confidence began. enlightened, A Understood. These two words have different meanings.

The word "understood" means "to take", to seize, to possess. Thus the proud human mind, remaining outside of God, tries to embrace the world around it. But the human mind is limited. Neither the depth, nor the height, nor the breadth, nor the longitude of the world, micro and macrocosm, he can really embrace. Then human pride goes the other way. She makes her judgment about depth or height, about latitude or longitude, about quality or property, about character or mood. This judgment is given a finished form and is satisfied with that, believing that there is nothing more in the object or event or phenomenon.

Indeed, in the material world, all objects have a finished look. This kind can be described, repeated. Take a rock, or a tree, or a table. The external image is complete, and the cause of the image, as well as the cause of the substance from which the object is made, can go into an incomprehensible depth. About this depth, a person makes a certain judgment, which at first is a hypothesis, assumption or opinion. The more a person separates from himself and gives place to the object or phenomenon itself with its objective properties and various manifestations, the closer his judgment is to the object and phenomenon itself, and so it continues until it completely coincides with it. But from that moment on, there is no longer a human judgment about the object; the very reality of the object remains for human contemplation. The ability to humble oneself before the reality of an object, and therefore to refrain from one's own opinion or judgments about an object, is a feature of pure contemplation, which is assimilated to the human mind by God.

Alas, the sinful obscuration of the mind, its falling into pride and submission to it, doomed a person to go in his scientific search not by pure contemplation, but by the method of gradual judgments and testing them in practice or experience. The more a person is seized by pride, the more petty his judgments. He does not bother to look into the depths. Having barely grasped the external manifestations of an object, he already forms his own opinion about it and, quite content, relies on it in his handling of it. Thus, blindfolded sages gave quite confident and highly intelligent descriptions of an elephant, one on its leg, another on its trunk, and a third on its tail. Or historians and writers of different persuasions and levels give their own description of the same historical events. All the rumors that people love to live on are based on this. According to the same mechanism, there are many quarrels and mutual distorted or incorrect understanding of each other by people. From this is born a multitude of wise interpretations of the Gospel, which become the cause of numerous sects.

Pure contemplation is characteristic only of a humble mind, and the depth and simplicity of contemplation is characteristic only of the Spirit of God.

Hence, outstanding discoveries in science could be made by people who were quite humble and simple, or at that period of their lives when simplicity was characteristic of them.

Now back to our two words. The word "understood" refers either to a reality that has a truly complete appearance, or to a judgment of a person, to which he himself, in spite of the subject, gives the property of completeness. The last one is self-reflection.

The words "understand", "understand", "understanding" do not refer to the completeness of any level of an object or phenomenon, but to its depth, which, regarding divine objects, always remains infinite, incomprehensible.

In this case, the derivative of "understood" the word " understand"means to take, grab, assimilate, master some kind of knowledge. "Understood" means that the subject is no longer subject to my further research, study. "Understood" means took possession, ownership. reason can take possession of the earth, the universe, the atom, and even God as a concept. But neither the Holy Scriptures nor God can be owned by a person. No matter how much he restricts his understanding of the Gospel, it will remain incomprehensible to him. Therefore, the Church about spiritual phenomena and about Truth speaks as subject understanding, i.e., infinite, unlimited comprehension. The understanding consciousness is put aside from egoism, pride, humbles itself before the greatness of Divine truth, and from this humility works on its understanding. In an attempt to comprehend, a person performs three successive stages. The first is the assimilation of heard or read knowledge. The second is reflection, spiritual reasoning over them. When thinking, we draw on the same subject the judgments of other holy fathers, with their spiritual understanding we peer into the same subject. The third is the test of life, the test, the fulfillment in life. A soul filled with humility acquires grace-filled sanctification and, thanks to this, begins to have a spiritual understanding about this or that subject.

Conceptual consciousness usually stops at the first stage and is satisfied with it. Moreover, it assumes that the object is really what is contained in the concept of it. Here is the beginning of arrogance, self-confidence, self-satisfaction, while understanding is born in humility and is accomplished in its development, deepening or ascent to God. Conceptual consciousness will say "I understand". The sensible will say "I got it".

In the patristic writings of past centuries, we will not encounter the word "understood", "understand". There are also the words "understand", "understand" - it means to constantly meet with the truth of the Lord, but never comprehend it to the end, not reach the peak, understanding. For the truths of God are infinite. The conceptual consciousness of a person is his own consciousness, it forms its own opinion about everything, its own concept. Having received this concept, having formed it, he takes pride in himself, is proud of it.

It knows no depth in anything, but it has its own opinion about everything. It can look at everything simply, but it will be either the simplicity of unbelief, or the simplicity of passion. And according to both, a person can be frank, sometimes to the point of insolence, and this will be the whole secret of his simplicity.

Here is what St. Macarius the Great says about such consciousness: “Those who proclaim the spiritual teaching without having tasted and experienced it, I reckon like a man walking on a hot summer afternoon through an empty and waterless country; then, from strong and scorching thirst, he imagines in his mind that there is a cool source near him sweet and transparent water, and as if he drinks from it without any obstacle to his fill, or to a man who has not tasted honey in the least, but tries to explain to others what its sweetness is. what belongs to perfection, sanctification, and passionlessness, they want to instruct others in this, for if God grants them even a little sense of what they are talking about, then they will certainly know that the truth and the deed do not resemble their story, but very much very different from him"(Letter on the rise of the mind, ch. 18).

In this sense, self-righteousness is one of the most difficult enemies of today's churching of a person. A modern person is really almost incapable of gaining the disposition of Christ or starting the path of this acquisition until he comprehends and discovers his own self. To understand one's own mind is to form one more opinion, and to comprehend it in oneself is to make a victory over oneself, to advance towards spiritual life, to experience repentance. The stages of understanding are described by St. Theophan the Recluse in his book "What is spiritual life and how to tune in to it." Until a person passes through these five stages, the understanding of the word of the Gospel or the Holy Fathers cannot be completed in him. This is a serious, life-performing spiritual work on the content of one's mind.

The second stone in the heart is willfulness. Willfulness strikes a person to the very depths of the soul, first of all it manifests itself in the nature of his relations with others. waywardness- this is the ability to sustainably maintain a certain order, a certain nature of the relationship to the environment. And in certain situations, behave in the same way.

Usually we distinguish all people by waywardness. At the everyday level, it looks like this: “Katerina Vasilievna always becomes furious in such a situation”, “Gennady Ivanovich is always very offended”, “Helen always becomes stubborn in these cases”, “Nikolai in this situation always falls into hysterics, throws things , slams the door and runs away "... Someone is always arrogant in relations with certain people, with others - he always experiences disgust (people are always disgusting and disgusting for him), in relation to others - he is always a little condescending. A certain person is always a servant in relation to certain people, another is like a frog in front of a boa constrictor, one is stubborn, another is suspicious, the third is boastful. Persistence, perseverance in one's character is the willfulness, the stable disposition of the soul that a person shows in certain situations. And most often, self-will is not realized by the person himself. And even where he begins to realize this in himself, the depths of self-will are inaccessible to him. In fact, to change the waywardness in certain situations, i.e. to control himself, for most people for a long period of their announcement is almost impossible.

There are times when a person works hard to change his relationship with the people around him. Suppose a person is closed. As soon as he enters the society of people, something immediately closes in him, and he cannot overcome this in himself, he did this and that, he confessed many times, repented of this, tried to change something, to change. But as soon as he got into a characteristic situation, everything returned to normal in him.

Man's willfulness is uncontrollable. If we look even deeper, we see that self-will lies at the foundation of man's fallen character. Only the sanctifying grace of God can fully reveal human willfulness.

When we turn to modern psychology, which has great achievements (especially Western), we will see that it is actually engaged in the study of human willfulness, i.e. she does not go beyond self-will in her research. A lot in this area has been researched, a lot has been studied, the deepest mechanisms of the formation and action of self-will have been discovered, and many psychological techniques are based on them, with which psychotherapy successfully helps people. But until some point. And then psychotherapy can no longer help a person. Even such outstanding methods, which are based on the research of the Nobel laureate American scientist Eric Berne and his school, give results for only three to five years. And then a person still faces his waywardness, which emerges from the depths, and which, again, he cannot control. This depth of a person's subconsciousness (and the very depth of human willfulness lies in the subconsciousness) cannot be revealed by anything except by the action of God's grace.

The Lord, when he calls a person to the Church, calls him to begin to discover himself. This is what happens with the help of God. In some cases, the Lord carefully, and in others, crushingly (but always curatively, accurately) reveals to a person his waywardness, and through this fall to the sanctifying grace of God, a person begins to be healed by repentance from him.

Finally, the third stone is willfulness. We will not dwell on this in detail. Much has been said about this above.

It is the fulfillment by a person of the needs of either self-pleasing, or man-pleasing, or complacency (self-confidence, pride-self-sufficiency). In any case, there is some self-interest behind the self-will. Otherwise, there is no need for a person to go against the will of God, there is no need to ignore it, not to notice it, or to remake it, to interpret it in one's own way.

Self-will forbids reverence in man, for it honors only itself. It does not know obedience, for it forbids faith, stifles it, mortifies it with petrification, so that in time a person completely ceases to hear God. Self-will, driven by pride, in its daring antics, openly challenged God.

Willfulness is afraid of sincere, trusting relationships, does everything as it wants, wants guarantees, doubts circumstances, upcoming events, does not trust people, is afraid to betray itself to the will of mentors, confessors, leaves the last word and choice for itself, tries on for a long time or, on the contrary, acts thoughtlessly and resolutely, hopes for himself or, on the contrary, doubts himself, hesitates in indecision.

Thus three characteristics of man's fallen nature cast him off in a powerful way from Christ. And if it were not for the grace of God, it would be impossible for a person to be saved from them.

Priest's response:

It is impossible to answer this question satisfactorily without knowing the person personally, his character, spiritual state and the accompanying circumstances. Therefore, the answer will be the most general and approximate. Human nature was damaged by the fall of Adam and afflicted with numerous passions that poison and distort all, without exception, spheres of human life, including marriage. Therefore, premarital relations between a man and a woman who are in the status of a bride and groom, as well as marital relations (status: husband - wife) are destroyed, mainly from the inability to deal with sin and misunderstanding of what sin is in general. The reason for this is non-churchness, not knowing the rules of spiritual life. Therefore, if a young man fell out of love with you, this could happen from the above points, among which there may be a share of your guilt. A person who knows you personally and who has true, from the point of view of Orthodoxy, experience of family relationships will be able to detect and suggest this. If such a person is not found, please read Orthodox literature on this subject. Perhaps the solution to your confusion, you can find there. I recommend the books of the priest Ilia Shugaev, for example: "Marriage, family, children." There is also his video lectures on these topics. All this can be easily found on the Internet on Orthodox sites and on YouTube. As for the question: “What if love is not mutual?”, I propose an answer to a similar question, asked by Anton some time ago: Anton asks: Hello! I would like not so much to ask you a question as to ask for advice. Sometimes in life such a situation happens that a person falls in love, but unrequited. What should an Orthodox Christian do in such a situation if there are feelings for another person, but they are unrequited? And because of this, disgusting and nightmarish feelings of resentment, jealousy and so on arise. And, worst of all, you feel that faith is weakening. And it’s impossible to let go of a person, the soul simply refuses ... And Christ speaks of love, and the Apostle Paul in the 1st Epistle to the Corinthians (chapter 13), and at the same time such a dark side of this bright feeling arose in life ... What to do? Answer: Unfortunately, in Russian such a concept as love is denoted by only one term. There are several of these terms in the Greek language and each reveals different aspects of love. Love for God, the highest form of love, is denoted by the word "agape", love, like male friendship - "philadelphia", carnal love between a man and a woman - "eros". So, both the Savior and the apostles, in the passages of the New Testament you cited, called for acquiring not the love that regulates the marriage relationship between a man and a woman, but love expressed in the Gospel principle: do what you want people to do to you, so do and you are with them (Matthew 7:12). As for the unrequited love of a man for a woman. One of the consequences of the fall of Adam was the disorder of the will, the opposition of the will of the human will to the will of God. Such a state in the language of asceticism is called self-will. Self-will - and becomes the cause of many of our troubles, discord in relations with God and neighbors. A person damaged by original sin desires that everything be as he wants. But the will disturbed by sin often desires the contrary to the will of God. This is what causes our suffering. Therefore, in ancient times, in the monastic school, the elder, taking a disciple into obedience, first of all sought to cut off the passion of self-will in him and teach him to surrender to the will of God. In our time, we don't even know that self-will is a sin. Where is self-will revealed? In relation to man to the providence of God about him. Christianity says that not a single random event happens to us in life. Each event is the fruit of the action of providence and is accomplished either by the will or by the permission of God (if the cause of the event lies in the evil will of a person). A person, on the other hand, does not want to agree with the will of God about himself in any way, and therefore - he mourns, loses heart, gets angry, grumbles at God and people who are in relation to him - only tools of providence. As a result, as you write, there are feelings of resentment, jealousy and weakening of faith. But is it really impossible to fight for your love? - It is possible and necessary. First, you need to pray to God, ask for His help and blessings. Secondly, to show the girl by deeds and words the seriousness of his intentions towards her. But a golden mean is also needed here: if all reasonable attempts did not lead to an answer on her part, you also need to see God’s providence about yourself in this (it means that she is not the one that God is pleased to give me), and calm down, agree with the Divine will . In this way it is necessary to resolve other similar cases. Shiigumen Savva in his book: “Take sincere advice from me”, describes the story from the patericon about an ascetic who learned in every event that happened to him to see the action of the Creator and agree with him. He became not only an inwardly happy person, but was also rewarded with the gift of miracles. You can also argue from the other side. Suppose that there is no God and His providence for man. All life events are accidental. And so, we got into a situation that is opposite to our desires, and at the same time, we cannot influence it in the slightest. How can we behave properly here? Angry, hating everything and everyone, getting depressed, getting drunk or worse, contemplating suicide? But nothing will change from this, and we are upset and destroyed. Or accept what happened, and calm down? A wise man once said: "If you can't change your circumstances, change yourself." These words are very consonant with Christianity. Therefore, when something in life happens contrary to our desires, and all attempts to change the state of things do not lead to positive results, we need to thank God in prayer for this, saying: “Glory to Thee, Lord, for everything! May Thy will be done! ”Like a prudent robber, admit your sinfulness and unworthiness:“ I receive worthy according to my deeds ”(and in fact, in reality, it often happens). And then, even if external events have not changed, the peace of God will visit us, and the soul will not be darkened by any sinful movements.

31.12.2015 14:19:

Hello Maria!
You have certainly committed a sin by breaking the Seventh Commandment. In the Old Testament, women were stoned for adultery. But, thank God, for His mercy to us, sinners and fallen ones. For His love, which was expressed in His Son, and our Lord Jesus Christ, Who: “was wounded for our sins and tormented for our iniquities; the punishment of our peace was upon him, and by his stripes we were healed” (Isaiah 53:5). Do not forget that the Lord loves you too, wishes you admonition, repentance, forgiveness of your sins, correction and salvation. In the Gospel we read how Christ forgave the harlot who, for her sin, they wanted to stone to death. To her He said, “Woman, I do not condemn you; go and sin no more” (John 8:11). These words can also apply to you if you sincerely repent and try not to allow such falls again. As a penance, I recommend that you read the Penitential Canon daily and make prostrations according to the number of years of life during the week before the Christmas holiday.
I also want to tell you what I usually say to all girls in such situations. The issue of personal family life is second in importance, after the issue of soul salvation. Pray that the Will of God regarding your personal life will be revealed to you: read the Psalter one kathisma a day, and on each "Glory" adding the prayer "to the girl for marriage." Also read the akathists of the Mother of God "The Unbrided Bride", Intercession, St. Nicholas the Wonderworker and Blessed. Xenia of Petersburg. In addition, it is necessary to lead a full-fledged spiritual life: visit the temple, observe fasts, pray, read the Holy Scriptures, repent of your sins, confess and take communion. I also want to remind you that many girls, in search of their "chosen one", enter into premarital intimate relationships, thereby depriving themselves of God's help, His blessing and grace-filled support, due to prodigal sin. Therefore, one of the conditions for arranging a happy personal life and creating a prosperous family is a chaste, pious life before marriage.

Guest 01/03/2016 19:52:

Eh, Maria... Batiushka is certainly right. Well, the main thing here is not to lose heart, God knows human weakness, and sometimes we don’t, so we condemn everyone until we ourselves get into too. To stay in the world without falling into adulterous sins is possible only by grace, we ourselves will NEVER be able to do this, this is above natural for a person who has especially tasted this sin. Virgins are falling, where are we going... Mary, the demon of fornication torments a person until old age, and doesn't even leave married people. Remember this. Fall, repent, and never despair, God will always forgive you, but run away from sin! Try to distract yourself from thoughts about men, you need to improve your spiritual life, just don’t judge anyone and don’t overeat and it will be easier, you yourself went through all this. Prepare your soul, cleanse your heart so that it can love, so that you can marry in purity, get married and all your sins will be forgiven. But in marriage, be faithful, there is already a big demand. The sin of this love in the heart kills, it becomes hardened, it becomes insensitive, and there are many divorces - they are not faithful to each other, often they are simply not true in their thoughts, virtually, via the Internet, but even this is already a sin! As soon as your heart is ready, the betrothed will appear, God will send. Pray for a spiritual father and God will send him, He hears all of us and fulfills all petitions, as He loves us - NEVER DESPAIR!!! Help you Lord!

There is a lot of madness in the world today. The devil went wild in earnest, because today's people have given him many rights. People are exposed to terrible demonic influences. One person explained it very correctly. “Earlier,” he says, “the devil was busy with people, but now he doesn’t deal with them. He leads them to [his] road and admonishes: “Well, no fluff, no feather!” And people wander along this road themselves. This is scary. Look: the demons in the country of Gadarene asked Christ for permission to enter into the pigs, because the pigs did not give the devil rights over themselves and he did not have the right to enter them without permission. Christ allowed him to do this to punish the Israelites, since the law forbade them to eat pork.

And some, Geronda (Elder, roughly corresponds to our “father.” Such an address is used by the Greeks both for simple elder monks and for abbots of monasteries), they say that there is no devil.

Yes, one person also advised me to remove from the French translation of the book "Reverend Arsenius of Cappadocia" those places that speak of demoniacs. "Europeans," he says, "will not understand this. They do not believe that the devil exists." You see how they explain everything in psychology. If the gospel possessed fell into the hands of psychiatrists, they would subject them to electric shock treatment! Christ deprived the devil of the right to do evil. He can do evil only if the person himself gives him the right to do so. By not participating in the Sacraments of the Church, a person gives these rights to the evil one and becomes vulnerable to demonic influence.

Geronda, how else can a person give the devil such rights?

Rationality, contradiction, stubbornness, self-will, disobedience, shamelessness - all these are the distinguishing features of the devil. A person becomes vulnerable to demonic influence to the extent that he has in himself the properties listed above. However, when a person's soul is cleansed, the Holy Spirit instills in him, and the person is filled with Grace. If a person stains himself with mortal sins, an unclean spirit enters into him. If the sins with which a person has soiled himself are not mortal, then he is under the influence of an evil spirit from outside.

Unfortunately, in our era, people do not want to cut off their passions, their own self-will. They do not take advice from others. After that, they begin to speak with shamelessness and drive away the Grace of God from themselves. And then man - wherever you step - cannot succeed, because he has become vulnerable to demonic influences. A person is no longer in himself, because from the outside he is commanded by the devil. The devil is not inside him - God forbid! But even from the outside, he can command a person.

A person abandoned by Grace becomes worse than the devil. Because the devil does not do everything himself, but incites people to evil. For example, he does not commit crimes, but incites people to do so. And that makes people crazy.

If people would at least go to a confessor and confess, then the demonic influence would disappear, and they would again be able to think. Indeed, now, due to demonic influence, they are not even able to think with their heads. Repentance, confession deprives the devil of rights over a person. Recently, a sorcerer came to the Holy Mountain. With some kind of enchanting pegs and nets, he blocked in one place the entire road leading to my kaliva. If a man had passed there without confessing his sins, he would have suffered, not knowing, in addition, the reason for this. Seeing these magical nets on the road, I immediately signed myself with the sign of the cross and walked along them with my feet - I tore everything. Then the sorcerer himself came to the kaliva. He told me all his plans and burned his books.

The devil does not have any power and authority over a person who believes, goes to church, confesses, takes communion. The devil only barks at such a person, just like a toothless dog. However, he has great power over an unbeliever who has given him rights over himself. The devil can gnaw such a person - in this case, he has teeth and he torments the unfortunate person with them. The devil has power over the soul in accordance with what rights she gives him.

When a spiritually ordered person dies, the ascent of his soul to Heaven is like a rushing train. Barking dogs rush after the train, choking with barking, trying to run ahead, and the train rushes and rushes - some mongrel will also run over in half. If a person dies, whose spiritual state leaves much to be desired, then his soul seems to be on a train that is barely moving. He can't go faster because the wheels are out of order. The dogs jump into the open doors of the carriages and bite people.

In the event that the devil has acquired great rights over a person, has prevailed over him, the reason for what happened must be found so that the devil is deprived of these rights. Otherwise, no matter how much others pray for this person, the enemy does not leave. He hurts a person. The priests scold him, scold him, and in the end, the unfortunate becomes even worse, because the devil torments him more than before. A person must repent, confess, deprive the devil of the rights that he himself gave him. Only after this the devil leaves, otherwise the person will be tormented. Yes, even a whole day, even two days, reprimand him, even weeks, months and years - the devil has rights over the unfortunate and does not leave.

Geronda, how is it that I am enslaved by passions?

A person is enslaved to passions, giving the devil rights over himself. Launch all your passions into the face of the devil. This is what God wants, and this is in your own interests. That is, anger, stubbornness, such passions turn against the enemy. Or, to put it better, sell your passions to a tangalashka (the elder gave such a nickname to the devil), and with the proceeds, buy cobblestones and throw them at the devil so that he doesn’t even come close to you. Usually we, people, by inattention or proud thoughts ourselves allow the enemy to do us harm. Tangalashka can use only one thought or word. I remember there was one family - very friendly. Once, the husband jokingly began to say to his wife: “Oh, I will divorce you!”, And the wife also jokingly told him: “No, I will dissolve the marriage with you!” They just said so, without a second thought, but they joked that the devil took advantage of this. He gave them a little complication, and they were already seriously ready for a divorce - they didn’t think about children or anything else. Fortunately, one confessor was found and talked to them. “What are you doing,” he says, “are you getting divorced because of this stupidity?”
If a person deviates from the commandments of God, then passions struggle with him. And if a person left passion to fight him, then the devil is not needed for this. After all, demons also have a "specialization". They tap a person, find out where he "hurts", seek to reveal his weakness and, thus, overcome him. We must be attentive, close windows and doors - that is, our feelings. It is necessary not to leave open cracks for the evil one, not to let him crawl through them inside. These cracks and holes are our weak spots. If you leave the enemy even a small crack, then he can squeeze in and harm you. The devil enters a person who has dirt in his heart. The devil does not approach the pure creation of God. If a person's heart is cleansed of dirt, then the enemy flees and Christ comes again. Just as a pig, finding no dirt, grunts and leaves, so the devil does not approach a heart that has no uncleanness. And what did he forget in a pure and humble heart? So, if we see that our house - the heart - has become an enemy dwelling - a hut on chicken legs, then we must immediately destroy it so that the Tangalashka - our evil tenant - leaves. After all, if sin lives in a person for a long time, then, naturally, the devil acquires greater rights over this person.

- Geronda, if a person used to live negligently and thereby gave the tempter rights over himself, but now he wants to improve, to start living attentively, does the Tangalashka fight him?

When turning to God, a person receives from Him the strength, enlightenment and comfort necessary at the beginning of the path. But as soon as a person begins a spiritual struggle, the enemy raises a cruel battle against him. That's when you need to show a little bit of endurance. Otherwise, how will passions be eradicated? How will the old man be put off? How will pride go? And so a person understands that he, on his own, cannot do anything. He humbly asks for the mercy of God, and humility comes to him. The same thing happens when a person wants to get behind a bad habit - for example, from smoking, drugs, drunkenness. At first, he feels joy and quits this habit. Then he sees others smoking, using drugs, drinking, and swearing hard. If a person overcomes this battle, then later it will not be difficult for him to give up this passion, to turn his back on it. We need to get back a little and work hard, fight. Tangalashka does her job - so why don't we do ours?

We all have hereditary passions, but in themselves they do not harm us. It doesn't matter that a person is born, for example, with a mole on his face, which gives him a special beauty. But if this mole is picked open, then a cancerous tumor may occur. We must not allow the devil to pick at our passions. If we allow it to pick open our weakness, then [spiritual] cancer begins in us.

One must have spiritual courage, despise the devil and all his evil thoughts - "telegrams". We will not start conversations with the Tangalashka. Even all the lawyers in the world, if they got together, could not out-argue one little devil. Stopping conversations with the tempter will greatly help in breaking ties with him and avoiding temptations. Has something happened to us? Have we been treated unfairly? Were we scolded? Let's see if we ourselves are to blame. If we are not guilty, then a bribe awaits us. We need to stop here: there is no need to go deep. If a person continues to talk with the Tangalashka, then he will then weave such lace for him, arrange such a pandemonium ... The Tangalashka inspires to investigate what happened according to the laws of his, Tangalashka's, "truth" and brings the person to bitterness.

I remember how the Italian troops, leaving Greece, left behind tents with piles of hand grenades. And gunpowder after them were whole heaps. People took these tents and what was inside for themselves. Children played with grenades, and you know how many of them, unfortunate ones, were killed! Is it possible to play with grenades! So are we - what, are we going to play toys with the devil?

- Geronda, my thought tells me that the devil has tremendous power, especially in our day.

The devil has not power, but malice and hatred. Omnipotent is the love of God. Satan pretends to be all-powerful, but he does not cope with this role. He appears strong, but is actually completely powerless. Many of his destructive plans fall apart before they even begin to materialize. Would a father - very good and kind - really allow some punks to beat his children?

- And I, Geronda, am afraid of Tangalashkas.

Why are you afraid of them? Tangalashkas have no power. Christ is omnipotent, and the devil is the real rottenness. Don't you carry a cross? The devil's weapon has no power. Christ armed us with His Cross. The enemy has power only when we ourselves lay down our spiritual weapons. There was a case when one Orthodox priest showed a small cross to a sorcerer and thereby trembled the demon whom this sorcerer summoned by his sorcery.

- Why is he so afraid of the Cross?

Because when Christ accepted spitting, beatings and beatings, then the kingdom and power of the devil were broken. How wonderfully Christ won the victory over him! "The power of the devil was broken with a reed," says one Saint. That is, the power of the devil was broken when Christ was dealt the last blow with a cane on the head. Therefore, the defensive spiritual remedy against the devil is patience, and the strongest weapon against him is humility. The contrition of the devil is the most healing balm poured out by Christ during His Cross Sacrifice. After the Crucifixion of Christ, the devil is like a snake, devoid of poison, like a dog with torn teeth. The devil's poisonous power has been taken away, and the teeth of dogs, that is, demons, have been torn out. They are now disarmed, and we are armed with the Cross. Demons cannot do anything to God's creatures unless we ourselves give them the right to do so. All they can do is rowdy - they have no power.

Once, while living in the kaliva of the Holy Cross, I performed a wonderful all-night vigil! At night, many demons gathered in the attic. At first they thrashed at something with all their might with sledgehammers, and then they began to make noise, as if healthy logs and ridges of trees were rolling around the attic. I baptized the ceiling and sang: "To Your Cross we worship, Master...". When I finished singing, they started rolling blocks again. "Now," I told them, "we'll split into two kliros. You roll the blocks on the top one, and I'll sing here, on the bottom one." When I started to sing, they stopped. I sang either "To Your Cross ...", then "Lord, Thy Cross has given us weapons against the devil ...". I spent the most joyful night in psalmody. As soon as I stopped talking, they continued to amuse me. And what an extensive repertoire they have! Every time they come up with something new!

- And when you sang the troparion for the first time, didn't they leave?

No. As soon as I finished - they entered. Apparently, it was necessary to sing a vigil for two kliros. It was a wonderful vigil. I sang with feeling! Those were wonderful days...

- Geronda, what does the devil look like?

Do you know how handsome he is? Not in a fairy tale to tell, not to describe with a pen! If only you could see him!.. How [wisely] the love of God does not allow a person to see the devil! Seeing him, most would have died of fear. Think if people could see how he acts, if they could see how "good" he is! I forgot what it's called?.. "Cinema", or what?.. However, such "film screenings" are expensive, and even despite the high price, it's still not easy to see this.

- Does the devil have horns and a tail?

Yes, there is. And the horns, and the tail, and all the "prichindaly"!

- Geronda, did the demons become such bogeymen after their fall, after they turned from angels into demons?

- Of course, after. They look like they've been struck by lightning now. If lightning strikes a tree, does it not become a charred log in the blink of an eye? Here they are now, as if they were struck by lightning. There was a time, and I said to the Tangalashka: “Come, so that I can see you and not fall into your clutches! Now I’m just looking at you, but it’s already clear how furious you are! what awaits me then!

- Geronda, does the Tangalashka know what is in our hearts?

What more! It was not enough for him to know the hearts of people. Only God knows the heart. And only to the people of God He sometimes reveals for our good what is in our hearts. The Tangalashka knows only slyness and malice, which he himself instills in those who serve him. He does not know our good intentions. Only from experience does he sometimes guess about them, but even here in most cases he makes a mistake! And if God does not allow the devil to understand something, then the Tangalashka will constantly make mistakes in everything. After all, the devil is such a darkness! "Visibility - zero"! Suppose I have some good intention. The devil does not know about him. If I have an evil thought, then the devil knows it, because he himself instills it in me. If I now want to go somewhere and do a good deed, for example, save some person, then the devil does not know about it. However, if the devil himself prompts a person: “Go and save such and such,” that is, throws such a thought into him, then he himself will spur his pride and therefore will know what this person has in his heart.

All this is very subtle. Remember the case with Abba Macarius? One day he met the devil, who was returning from the nearest desert. He went there to tempt the monks who lived there. The devil said to Abba Macarius: "All the brethren are very cruel to me, except for one of my friends, who obeys me and, when he sees me, spins like a spindle." - "Who is this brother?" asked Abba Macarius. "His name is Theopemptus," the devil replied. The reverend went into the wilderness and found this brother. Very tactfully, he led him to the revelation of thoughts and helped him spiritually. Meeting with the devil again, Abba Macarius asked him about the brothers living in the wilderness. "They are all very cruel to me," the devil replied to him. The devil did not know that Abba Macarius went to his brother and corrected him, because the Monk acted humbly, out of love. The devil had no rights regarding the good intention of Abba. But if the Reverend had become proud, then he would have driven away the Grace of God from himself, and the devil would have received these rights. Then he would have known about the intention of the Reverend, because in this case the tangalashka himself would have spurred his pride.

- And if a person somewhere expressed his good thought, can the devil overhear him and then tempt this person?

How can he overhear if there is nothing from the devil in what is said? However, if a person expressed his thoughts in order to be proud, then the devil will intervene. That is, if a person has a predisposition to pride and he proudly declares: "I will go and save someone!", then the devil will join the cause. In this case, the devil will know about his intention, while if a person is prompted by love and acts humbly, then the devil does not know about it. Attention is needed. This is a very delicate matter. It is not for nothing that the Holy Fathers call the spiritual life "the science of sciences."

- Geronda, however, happens that the sorcerer predicts, for example, to three girls that one will get married, the other too, but will be unhappy, and the third will remain unmarried, and this comes true. Why?

The devil has experience. For example, an engineer, seeing a house in a state of disrepair, can tell how long it will remain idle. So the devil sees how a person lives, and from experience he concludes how he will end.

The devil has no sharpness of mind, he is very stupid. It's all a mess, you can't find the end. And he behaves either as smart or as a fool. His tricks are of clumsy work. This is how God arranged it so that we can figure it out. One must be greatly darkened by pride in order not to see through the devil. Having humility, we are able to recognize the devil's snares, because through humility a person is enlightened and becomes akin to God. Humility is what makes the devil crippled.

- Geronda, why does God allow the devil to tempt us?

Then to take away Your children. "Do, devil, whatever you want," says God. After all, no matter what the devil does, in the end he will still break his teeth on the cornerstone - Christ. And if we believe that Christ is the cornerstone, then we are not afraid of anything.

God does not allow trial unless something good comes out of it. Seeing that the good that will happen will be greater than the evil, God leaves the devil to do his work. Remember Herod? He killed fourteen thousand babies and replenished the heavenly host with fourteen thousand angelic martyrs. Have you seen angel martyrs anywhere? The devil broke his teeth! Diocletian, cruelly torturing Christians, was the devil's collaborator. But, not wanting it himself, he did the good of Christ's Church by enriching Her with saints. He thought that he would exterminate all Christians, but he achieved nothing - he only left many holy relics for us to worship and enriched the Church of Christ.

God could have dealt with the devil a long time ago, because He is God. And now, if He only wants to, He can twist the devil into a ram's horn, [for all eternity] send him to hellish torment. But God does not do this for our good. Would He allow the devil to torment and torment His creation? And, however, to a certain limit, until a time, He allowed him this, so that the devil would help us with his malice, so that he would tempt us, and we would resort to God. God allows the tangalashka to tempt us only if it leads to good. If it does not lead to good, then He does not allow it. God allows everything for our good. We must believe in it. God allows the devil to do evil so that man fights. After all, do not rub, do not mumble - there will be no kalach. If the devil did not tempt us, then we could think of ourselves as if we were saints. And so God allows him to sting us with his malice. After all, inflicting blows on us, the devil knocks out all the rubbish from our dusty soul, and it becomes cleaner. Or God allows him to lash out and bite us so that we turn to Him for help. God calls us to Him all the time, but usually we move away from Him and run to Him again only when we are in danger. When a person unites with God, then the evil one has nowhere to squeeze in. But besides this, there is no need for God to allow the devil to tempt such a person, because He allows this so that the tempted one would be forced to resort to Him. But one way or another, the evil one does good to us - helps us to be sanctified. That is why God tolerates him.

God left free not only people, but also demons, because they do not harm, and cannot harm the soul of a person, except for those cases when the person himself wants to harm his soul. On the contrary, evil or inattentive people - who, not wanting this, do us harm - are preparing a retribution for us. “If there were no temptations, no one would be saved,” says one Abba. Why does he say so? Because there are many benefits to temptation. Not because the devil would ever be able to do good, no - he is evil. He wants to break our heads and throws a stone at us, but the Good God... catches this stone and puts it in our hand. And in the palm of the other hand, He pours nuts for us, so that we prick them with this stone and eat! That is, God does not allow temptations so that the devil tyrannizes us. No, He allows him to tempt us so that in this way we pass the exams for admission to another life and at the Second Coming of Christ we do not have excessive claims. We need to understand well that we are at war with the devil himself and will be at war with him until we leave this life. While a person is alive, he has a lot of work to do in order to make his soul better. As long as he is alive, he has the right to take spiritual examinations. If a person dies and gets a deuce, then he is expelled from the list of examinees. There is no more transfer.

Good God created angels. However, out of pride, some of them fell and became demons. God created a perfect creation - man - in order for him to replace the fallen angelic rank. Therefore, the devil is very jealous of man - the creation of God. Demons bawl: "We committed one offense, and You tyrannize us, and people who have so many wrongdoings on their account - You forgive." Yes, it forgives, but people repent, and the former angels fell so low that they became demons, and instead of repenting, they become more and more crafty, more and more evil. With fury they rushed to the destruction of the creatures of God. Dennitsa was the brightest angelic rank! And what did he come to... Because of pride, the demons moved away from God thousands of years ago, and because of pride they continue to move away from Him and remain impenitent. If they had only said one thing: "Lord, have mercy," then God would have thought of something [for their salvation]. If only they would say "I have sinned," but they don't say that. By saying "I have sinned," the devil would again become an angel. The love of God is boundless. But the devil has a stubborn will, stubbornness, selfishness. He doesn't want to give in, he doesn't want to be saved. This is scary. After all, he was once an angel!

- Geronda, does the devil remember his former state?

You are still asking! He [all] is fire and fury, because he does not want others to become angels, those who take his former place. And the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. It develops in malice and envy. Oh, that a person would feel the state in which the devil is! He would cry day and night. Even when some kind person changes for the worse, becomes a criminal, he is very sorry. And what to say if you see the fall of an angel!
Once, one monk felt very hurt for the demons. Bowing his knees, falling down, he prayed to God with the following words: "You are God, and if you want, you can find a way to save these poor demons, who at first had such great glory, and now they have all the malice and deceit of the world, and if not for Your intercession, they would have destroyed all people." The monk prayed with pain. Saying these words, he saw next to him the muzzle of a dog that stuck out his tongue and mimicked him. Apparently, God allowed this, wanting to notify the monk that He was ready to accept demons, if only they would repent. But they do not want their own salvation. Look - the fall of Adam was healed by the coming of God to earth, the Incarnation. But the fall of the devil cannot be cured by anything other than his own humility. The devil is not corrected because he does not want it himself. Do you know how glad Christ would be if the devil wanted to correct himself! And a person is not corrected only if he does not want it himself.

- Geronda, so what - the devil knows that God is Love, knows that He loves him, and, despite this, continues his own?

How does he not know! But will his pride allow him to humble himself? And besides that, he is also cunning. Now he is trying to acquire the whole world. "If I have more followers," he says, "then in the end, God will be forced to spare all His creatures, and I will also be included in this plan!" So he thinks. Therefore, he wants to win over as many people as possible to his side. See where he's headed? "On my side, he says, there are so many people! God will be forced to show mercy to me too!" [He wants to be saved] without repentance! Didn't Judas do the same? He knew that Christ would deliver the dead from hell. "I'll go to hell before Christ," Judas said, "so that He will free me too!" Do you see how stupid it is? Instead of asking Christ for forgiveness, he stuck his head in a noose. And look, the mercy of God bent the fig tree on which he hanged himself, but Judas [not wanting to stay alive] tucked his legs under him so that they would not touch the ground. And all this in order not to say a single "I'm sorry." How scary! So the devil, who is at the head of egoism, does not say “I have sinned,” but endlessly struggles to win over as many people as possible to his side.

Humility has great power. From humility, the devil crumbles to dust. It is the strongest shock blow to the devil. Where there is humility, there is no place for the devil. And if there is no place for the devil, therefore, there are no temptations. Once one ascetic forced a Tangala woman to say "Holy God...". "Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal!" - the Tangalashka rammed and stopped there, "have mercy on us" did not say. - "Say," have mercy on us! "Where is it! If he said these words, he would become an angel. Tangalashka can say whatever you want, except" have mercy on us" is humility - and the soul that asks for the great mercy of God accepts what is asked.
Whatever we do, humility, love, nobility are necessary. It's so simple - we complicate [our spiritual life] ourselves. Let us, as far as possible, complicate the life of the devil and make life easier for man. Difficult for the devil and easy for a man is love and humility. Even a weak, sickly person who does not have the strength for asceticism can defeat the devil with humility. A person can turn into an angel or a tangalashka in one minute. How? Humility or pride. Did it take a long time for Dennitsa to turn from an angel into a devil? His fall happened in a few moments. The easiest way to be saved is love and humility. Therefore, we need to start with love and humility, and only then move on to the rest.

Pray to Christ that we will constantly please Him and upset the Tangalashka, if he likes hellish torment so much and he does not want to repent.