home Auditorium 7 How to calm down quickly: practical advice. The main thing is to remain calm! Ways to calm down and worry less

How to calm down quickly: practical advice. The main thing is to remain calm! Ways to calm down and worry less

Update: October 2018

Nervousness, irritability, internal tension, irritable weakness, anxiety, sleep disturbances, decreased performance - these are the flowers that almost each of us encounters with varying frequency.

Not everyone gets berries in the form of chronic diseases of the nervous system, internal organs and psyche, narrowing of social contacts or isolation, but they still exist. And all this vinaigrette, seasoned with the light, crazy flair of modern life, is now commonly blamed on chronic stress. Let's try to figure out what it really is, what it is eaten with, and how to get rid of it effectively and painlessly.

When love leaves, the blues remain

During the time of the ancient Greeks and other Hippocrates and Galens, all human behavioral characteristics were explained by the presence of a predominance of one of the four bodily fluids, which determined the type of temperament. There is a lot of lymph in a person - he is slow and calm, bile predominates - he is aggressive and hysterical if it is yellow or gloomy and gloomy if it is black. And only blood makes its owner cheerful and active.
Later, everyone suffered from spleen and blues interspersed with hysterical fits. From them they went to the waters, shot themselves, went to the active army and drowned themselves. What serfs, European guild workers and American Indians did at this time in cases of life difficulties is not known for certain. It seems they drank bitters and smoked in their free time from back-breaking plowing.
A little later, enterprising psychiatrists Freud and Jung explained everything by the suppression of the ego by a ruthless environment and public opinion and took up the emancipation of the suffering Self, one at great expense, and the second at a very high cost, successfully covering the whole of Europe with their psychoanalysis.
The subsequent world wars, however, proved that in comparison with the world revolution, female hysteria was complete nonsense, and led scientists to a more detailed study of the theory of stress, since the representative sample of those who came from the war fields was very decent for a whole century.

What kind of bitch nerves do they have, and why don’t we have these nerves?

The theory of stress tells us that the body defends itself from any external factor that we perceive as an irritant and a violator of the constancy of our internal environment by mobilizing all regulatory systems. Since it is vital, first of all, to avoid death, the system of catecholamines (adrenaline and norepinephrine) and cortisol is activated, working within the framework of the “fight-flight” paradigm. It is responsible for raising blood pressure, increasing heart rate and breathing.

The meaning of stress is to allow the body to adapt to the changed external world and maintain the constancy of the internal environment, even against the background of infection or injury, even against the background of negative emotional influence from the outside. Whether you're sick with the flu or your boss yelled at you at work, your body needs to mobilize some of its potential to restore balance. That is, stress is not just emotional excitement or irritation, but an adaptive mechanism.

Chronic stress leads to depletion of the body's adaptive capabilities. The system starts to glitch. Instead of an adequate prompt response, paradoxical reactions appear:

heartbeat at rest from bad thoughts
or shortness of breath from a heavy foreboding,
heart rhythm disturbances,
sweating,
fear of death,
pallor of the skin from habitual exercise,
muscle tension at rest,
dry mouth,
spasms in the stomach and intestines.

The main thing here is not to miss the signs of real diseases, which are practically indistinguishable from vegetative storms without additional diagnostic methods. But if everything has been checked more than once, and the suspicion of illness still persists, obsessive-compulsive neurosis is highly likely to occur.

Consequences of stress

subjective (anxiety, aggression, weakness, fatigue, low self-esteem, bad mood),
physiological (rising blood sugar, blood pressure, dilated pupils, feeling hot or cold),
behavioral (risk of accidents, alcoholism, emotional outbursts, substance abuse, smoking, overeating),
cognitive (weakened attention, decreased mental performance).

The mechanisms of stress development, adaptation to it, and failure of adaptive capabilities are almost identical for all people.

Only the threshold of perception is different. What is an ordinary trifle for one person is a whole tragedy for another.

Variants of group stress are also possible, when groups of people find themselves in unfavorable similar conditions. Moreover, the higher the load to achieve adaptation to difficult conditions, the more likely people react to it.

The study of stress resistance of different population groups and individuals allows for predictive diagnostics, identifying those who, under stress, are likely to react inappropriately or atypically and who are not shown types of work with high requirements for stress resistance.

More than half of the Russian population constantly live under stress. Up to 80% of them develop chronic fatigue syndrome and feel unwell in the morning, have problems falling asleep and sleeping at night, and have difficulty coping with physical and mental stress during the day

Physical manifestations of stress

Decreased ability to concentrate.
Irritability, bad mood.
Sleep disorders.
Growing appetite.
Deterioration of organizational abilities (fussiness, absent-mindedness).
Lethargy, apathy, fatigue.
Sexual disorders.
Increased anxiety.
A feeling of an insurmountable obstacle or crisis.
Feeling out of control.
Poor health (muscle pain, headache, heartburn, increased blood pressure).

If your body is screaming that getting up at six in the morning is unrealistic, try to understand it: perhaps your adrenal glands produce cortisol not at 4-5 in the morning, like a person who easily gets up at half past six, but with a delay of couple of hours. This is very common for those receiving glucocorticosteroid therapy.

Lack of sleep of just one hour a day in the short term reduces the ability to concentrate and remember information. In the long term, it threatens problems with cerebral circulation, the cardiovascular system, diabetes mellitus, and immune disorders (see).

In 2007, a University of California study was published on the effects of lack of sleep on emotionality. The results were disappointing: the emotional centers of the brain of the sleep-deprived subjects reacted 60% more actively to the negative images shown. That is, lack of sleep leads to an irrational emotional response to the world around us.

Go to bed before 24 hours

It is known for certain that people suffering from neuroses (and especially) feel worse in the evening and at night. If you are accustomed to suspiciousness without objective reasons, night terrors, episodes of self-pity and chronic resentment towards others - go to bed as early as possible. In addition, neuroscientists say that falling asleep before midnight allows the brain to rest better.

The habit of falling asleep early will also get rid of the addiction to eating your negativity at night with sweets and fatty foods.

Physical activity

Walk for at least an hour every day (see).
Sleep in a ventilated area. Oxygen starvation of the brain is a poor assistant in regulating emotions.
The paths of healthy lifestyle and sports diverge at a certain stage. Sport should be more like physical education with dosed exercise without stimulants, hormones and diuretics (see).
Sex is a good option to relieve stress if it is not a long-distance race and does not give additional reasons to be nervous and worried.

About nutrition

Don't Skip Iodized Foods(milk, salt) if you live in areas where there is little of this element in the water. Lack of iodine leads to decreased thyroid function. The result of this may be weakness, lethargy, decreased ability to work, fatigue, depressed emotional background, and bad mood.
Don't overeat. Control of eating behavior is not fasting or mono-diets, but balanced meals three to four times a day in small portions.
Foods that strengthen the nerves– this is lean meat, beef liver, fish and seafood, unpolished cereals, cottage cheese, bananas, herbs, citrus fruits, asparagus.
Synthetic vitamins Today they have a very narrow range of use for laboratory-proven hypovitaminosis. In addition to vitamin D in northern latitudes, for preventive purposes. Vitamins that strengthen the nervous system are group B, ascorbic acid, PP and vitamin D3.

Physical anti-stress barrier

Water treatments

They are able to normalize the tone of the nervous system due to temperature and reflex mechanical effects. Even at home today it is quite possible to take advantage of a relaxing bath, hydromassage or contrast shower. It is traditionally believed that a bath relaxes, and a shower tones the nervous system.

In everyday life, baths with a water temperature of 35-37 degrees Celsius are shown. It makes sense to add solutions or decoctions of herbal sedatives (valerian, motherwort) to the water. The duration of the bath is from 15 minutes to half an hour.
Among the physiotherapeutic variations of baths, pearl ones are known (with hydromassage, creating the effect of many bubbles). The massage effect can be achieved through the flow of water or air, which allows you to eliminate muscle tightness and not worry about trifles.
In depressed states and a tendency to, starting with the French neurologist Charcot, a contrast shower is used in different versions. Its purpose is to stimulate and relax certain areas of the skin with a water jet of different temperatures, training blood vessels and nerves to adequately respond to stressful needs.

Bath

This is not just an antediluvian variation of temperature stimulation of the skin, but also an entire ritual that allows a person to tune in to cleansing the soul and body and getting rid of everyday negative emotions (see). Combines physiotherapy and meditation.

Hardening

This is a stressful variant of temperature exposure. Trains the body to respond adequately to cold stress. mobilizing all possibilities. With long-term practice, it leads to a paradoxical vascular response: instead of spasm, the vessels respond to cold by expanding their lumen. It is necessary gradually, first by giving up indoor shoes. Gradually moving on to dousing with cool water and doing gymnastics in the fresh air. Terminal hardening options: dousing with ice water in the cold, swimming in an ice hole and walking barefoot in the snow.

Physiological wrestling techniques

Breathing exercises

This is the simplest and most effective method of controlling autonomic reactions. Gives good results.

The most popular and well-known system of breathing exercises is the Buteyko method, whose adherents claim that they were able to get rid of even bronchial asthma and use forced breathing for any reason. In general, any exercise to prolong exhalation can reflexively reduce the heart rate due to inhibition of the sympathetic nervous system. Also, breathing more rarely or deeply can calm and strengthen the nerves. To do this, you need to alternate a short inhalation with an extended exhalation and pauses after it.

The formula for relaxing breathing, where the first number is the duration of inhalation in seconds, with the “+” sign is the length of exhalation, and in brackets is the pause between breaths: 2+2(2), 4+4(4), 4+6(2) , 4+7(2),4+8(2), 4+9(2), 5+9(2), 5+10(2), 6+10(2), 6+10(3), 7+10(3), 8+10(3), 9+10(4), 10+10(5).
It is useful to take several exhalations through tightly compressed lips or long exhalations with an open mouth for the combination: “ho” or “he”.
Rhythmic walking will also help establish a rhythm for proper breathing. For four steps you need to take a full breath, for the next two you need to hold your breath, for the next four you need to exhale completely.
You can also perform gymnastics while lying down or sitting against a wall with a straight back.
Lie on the floor, place your arms extended along your body, palms down. Breathe relaxedly for a minute, then take a maximum breath and hold your breath for 4 seconds, then exhale as much as possible, trying to push all the air out of your lungs. Do five approaches.

Massage

A relaxing massage is preferable, including stroking, rubbing, and very light kneading of the extensors of the limbs. Therapeutic massage for the spine and vibrating massage for the chest. In addition to professional general or therapeutic massage, self-massage is indicated. For muscle spasms, you can use shaking the limbs (with or without holding the fingers). The fine vibration allows the muscles to relax successfully.

Relaxation practices may include:

listening to your favorite music,

aromatherapy,

yoga practices,

swimming pool, etc.

Psychological help

Since we have found out that anything can trigger anxiety and nervousness, and some of those suffering from neurasthenia even independently adapt external factors to their needs, then psychological training should move along two paths.

Take control of circumstances.
Soften the perception of traumatic factors and reduce their significance.

Thus, first you have to admit to yourself that the problem exists. And it’s not that as a child, dad used a belt, and mom was dissatisfied with her academic performance, that she wasn’t appreciated at work, and her loved one turned out to be a petty creature. There are many circumstances and they are everywhere, and a neurotic personality is ready to respond to any message from waiting for the end of the world to a rumbling stomach.

Since childhood is behind the horizon, you will have to take responsibility for your life without dumping it on your parents, spouses, loved ones, young offspring or random people around you. With such a perception, they cannot be to blame for all the misfortunes that happen to us. Maybe just a little bit, which we will also control.

Techniques

Meditation

One of the most effective calming techniques that anyone can learn would be desire. Meditation is focused thinking that comes from Hinduism. More often it is a spiritual or health practice with elements of self-immersion with the goal of achieving perfection or, at least, peace.

It involves detachment from external stimuli by adopting a certain body position, listening to relaxing sound stimulants or music that help control concentration on sensations or internal visual images. In general terms, this is detached contemplation, which allows you to reduce the significance of external stimuli, stop being nervous and become calm.

Faith

In difficult life situations, often turning to faith helps a person get support in a situation where secular methods do not work. The church provides an opportunity not only to find solace and an opportunity to cope with psychological trauma, but also offers socialization, which in a secular society is quite difficult for certain categories of people.

Autotraining

This is a set of exercises for developing positive attitudes. Self-hypnosis aimed at relieving mental and physical stress without outside help. Combines with muscle relaxation techniques. For example, with breathing exercises. At the initial stages, the patient is asked to learn the state of warmth in the limbs, heaviness in the legs, achieving them independently by repeating certain speech settings. In the future, it is proposed to learn how to evoke vivid visual images or a contemplative state with closed eyes. The technique is aimed at creating a supportive state or reducing the significance of irritating factors.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

This is a psychotherapeutic practice aimed at getting rid of stereotypical perceptions of reality and psycho-traumatic factors. It is important here that the work is carried out by the psychotherapist and the patient, whose active participation is mandatory. During therapy, it becomes clear what circumstances provoke the problem, which provokes uncontrollable thoughts. How this affects the patient in terms of beliefs, experiences and behavior. At the same time, situations and provocateurs that trigger the alarm are gradually recorded. The psychotherapist proposes a program of work on correction. Most often, it includes specific exercises that should be performed in a traumatic situation and are aimed at reinforcing new skills to combat anxiety. The goal of therapy is to change behavioral patterns and emotional states.

Pets

Do not neglect the advice to seek help from your pets. First of all, this applies to aquarium fish. Observing them works better than any psychorelaxation technique.

All methods presented in the article can be considered both in combination and separately, depending on existing contraindications or preferences. Humanity has accumulated vast experience in the fight against nervousness, which you can only use in your own particular case.

The level of daily stress is growing every day, and people are becoming more and more stressed, irritated with or without reason, worried and worried. They get tired more and faster because they spend a lot of energy on these emotions. Let's try to answer the question of how to stop being nervous and live calmly.

When you calmly react to situations that happen to you, be it a reprimand from your boss or unpleasant news that requires adjustment of plans, you better assess what is happening, quickly navigate a changing environment, and make informed, correct decisions. Let's try to learn how to interact with emotions correctly so that they help and not hinder you.

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Why is it more difficult for women to live in peace and what to do about it

Women tend to be much more emotional than men. Emotions for representatives of the fair half of humanity are a way to relieve tension and survive the situation that has happened.

The trap is that emotionality sometimes prevents a girl from living a peaceful life, begins to control her actions and decisions, and pushes her to make mistakes, the consequences of which will be difficult to correct.

Many love relationships are destroyed due to the emotionality of the partners. It is impossible to resolve any difficult issue if you cannot put aside your emotions and try to listen to your loved one.

A woman can experience as strong emotional impressions as she likes, but if she does not remain internally calm and balanced, it will be difficult for her to manage her life. Therefore, the sooner she learns to internally balance emotionality and calmness, the sooner she will stop being nervous and feel calmer and more confident.

How to stop freaking out and being nervous about anything

To stop being nervous, you must first understand that you yourself are making the situation “stressful” with your strong anxiety. In itself, any life situation is neutral. The emotional coloring - bad, very bad, good - is what you give it. You rate it as “difficult” or “unwinnable.”

There is another point. Remember the last time you were very worried and nervous before some significant event for you. An exam, speaking in public,... Assess how much time and emotional energy you have spent imagining your failure over and over again, imagining scenarios in your head over and over again.

Now remember how it all went. Surely everything was not at all what you imagined, and 80, if not 100 percent of it did not happen. You know, there is such a wonderful saying - most of the things that we worry about never happen.

Why are we nervous?

People are nervous because of their fantasies, illusions that torment their thoughts. Regardless of whether they are nervous about the upcoming event or worried about the consequences of what happened. In most of these cases there is no real reason to worry.

The girl does not sleep at night, thinking about what is happening to the young man. While he is delighted with her, he suffers because of his own confidence that he behaved like a complete idiot. All this can last for weeks (especially if both are young), and do you think that at least one of them has a real reason to be nervous?

Almost any situation can be seen from this angle. What prevents us from living in peace? Our own thoughts and feelings, which for some reason we allow to exhaust us in any way, helplessly watching how we miss the important, how we lose strength and health. That is, there are no such external causes and reasons for worries and frustrations; we ourselves are their main cause.

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How to stop being nervous over trifles

Do you go crazy every time? Or are you worried about being rude in public transport or in a store? And the further you go, the more situations make you nervous over trifles. What to do about it?

Such a reaction may be evidence that your nervous system has been shaken to an ugly state, and it’s time to pull yourself together and put it in order.

1. Establish a daily routine, sleep patterns and daily physical activity

It is important. You should get enough sleep, walk at least 4 km every day (if you don’t want to walk, swim, or do any other type of physical activity that you like). Don't sleep late, go to bed earlier, it is important that the main time of active life occurs during daylight hours.

The physical health of the body is more important for the normal functioning of the psyche than you might imagine. Biochemistry plays a huge role (don't forget about proper healthy eating) in how a person feels and what emotions prevail in him.

2.Limit your intake of artificial stimulants

For some reason, alcohol, coffee and other potent drugs that stimulate the human nervous system are considered relaxing or distracting. Try limiting the consumption of alcoholic beverages, as well as coffee and strong tea for a period of one month, and you will appreciate how calmer and more balanced you will become.

3. Try different breathing exercises or meditation techniques

Choose the one you like and do it regularly, at least three times a week to start.

It will take time for you to get your nerves in order. But you have been shaking it for more than one day. Therefore, consistently follow the recommendations described above, and in six months you will be able to get visible results. You will feel much calmer and stop being nervous not only because of stupid things, but also because of serious situations, which will become much easier to solve.

How to stop being nervous before a speech or an important meeting

When we are nervous about an upcoming event, it can be especially difficult to calm down and pull ourselves together - our nerves are tense, we can’t wait to do it as soon as possible, and at the same time we are afraid and worried that something will go wrong. How to calmly cope with these emotions.

It can be a good idea to be a little nervous before an important event - this is how the body adjusts, gets into the right tone, and is emotionally charged. So don't rush to swallow sedative pills.

Be sure to get enough sleep the night before, your body should be filled with strength for what lies ahead. Don’t try to finish something at the last moment, as you will only escalate the situation. It’s better to try to shift your focus to something else, to get a little distracted.

Put yourself in a cheerful and good mood. Talk to someone who supports you the day before. Read or listen to something inspiring. Thinking about other important events that made you nervous, but which you handled well, will help you feel more confident.

Finally

To live a calm and stress-free life, it is important to take care of yourself and your physical and mental well-being. Don’t push yourself, don’t work without days off and holidays, don’t give up rest and simple pleasures that give you pleasure.

I will explain how to remain calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedatives, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but I will also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, how to calm your mind and how strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form of sequential lessons and it is better to read them in order.

Nervousness and jitters are that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and activities, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and simply worry about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has both psychological and physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, worry about the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or for one reason or another significant or responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, ordinary people. Therefore, I consider situations of the second type to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. The fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people - all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological attunement; this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let’s start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, confusion in our thoughts, it is difficult to gather ourselves, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you? Do they help cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is, of course not, and what’s more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply a certain mental mechanism embedded in a system of habits and/or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate this? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability decreases and you have a harder time concentrating, which can make things worse and require your mental resources to be stretched to the limit.
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on important negotiations or a date.
Nervousness causes fatigue and tension to accumulate more quickly, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (however, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life.

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost concentration. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
In everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened by anything, we mostly worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You should configure yourself like this:

I have no reason to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Don’t think that I’m just talking about something that I myself have no idea about. Throughout my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24, I experienced serious problems with the nervous system. I couldn’t pull myself together in stressful situations, I worried about every little thing, I even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This had a negative impact on health: pressure surges, “panic attacks,” dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, I can’t say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but all the same, I stopped being nervous in those situations that make most people nervous, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I’m on the right path and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do. In general, everything I’m talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I’m not making anything up and I’m only talking about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I had not begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. Are the events that you consider so significant and important?

Think about all those events that make you nervous: your boss calls you, you take an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance for you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of an altercation on public transport or on the road on a life-long scale, and is it really such a terrible thing to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that you are nervous about will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, will turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries. This psychological setting helps a lot. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of reason, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event, during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a big event

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our intelligence, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event could be a final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too important an event to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for this!

Now we bring our thoughts to calm, relieve the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm down the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale and inhale deeply. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

Simple breathing exercises:

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, you need to feel it first, it’s more convenient to do this on the neck, not on the wrist)
keep the air in for 2 counts/hits
exhale for 4 counts/beats
do not breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don't breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations/exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

During the exercise, keep your attention only on your breathing! There should be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel relaxed and calm. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to how it feels. With regular practice, breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also generally puts your nervous system in order and you become less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

Okay, so we are prepared. But the time for the event itself has already arrived. Next I will talk about how to behave during the event so as not to be nervous and to be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How to avoid being nervous during an important meeting

Pretend calm: even if neither your emotional mood nor breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calm and equanimity. And this is necessary not only to mislead your opponents about your current state. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle of feedback, not only how you feel determines your facial expressions, but also your facial expressions determine how you feel. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the calmer you want to appear, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the feedback principle obliges you to constantly look inside yourself and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too stressed? Are your eyes shifting? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from your senses, you adjust all your body movements, voice, and facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself in itself helps you get together and concentrate. And the point is not only that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, and do not let them get confused and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calm are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when you're nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Are you tying your left big toe and little toe into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight and don’t change their positions often. We don’t fidget in our chair, we don’t shift from foot to foot. We continue to look after ourselves.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the call to “look after yourself.” The rest is specific and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with your answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. There is no need to try to make an impression in all available ways, you will make one if you do everything right and don’t worry, work on the quality of your performance. There is no need to mumble and get lost if you are caught by surprise: calmly swallow, forget and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after a meeting

Whatever the outcome of the event. You're on edge and still feeling stressed. It's better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles apply here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event, I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, what if I had performed this way and not that way, oh, how stupid I must have looked, oh I’m a fool, what if...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if), everything has already passed, put your breathing in order and relax your body. That's all for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You shouldn’t create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Typically, a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything and are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

I remember when I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would pass and somehow pass. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to phenomenal luck or the kindness of the teachers. I often went for retakes. As a result, during the session I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic number of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought so much had piled up, how hard it was, eh... Although it was all my fault, if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material to prepare for the exam and pass I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was laziness and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and about the fact that I would be drafted into the army if I I won’t hand over something, because I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I am talking about the fact that you should try not to create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and don’t put it off until the last minute! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, or better yet several! This will save you a significant part of your nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of peace. And the next thing I will tell you about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, being calmer and more relaxed. These methods are focused on long-term results; they will make you less susceptible to stress in general, and not only prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, to correct the physiological factor of nervousness and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to meditate regularly. This is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports and take a set of health-supporting measures (contrast showers, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy body has a healthy mind: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit in front of the computer less.
Do breathing exercises.
Quit bad habits! Learn to relieve stress without cigarettes, alcohol, etc. Look for healthy ways to relax!

Source

In the life of any person there are important and responsible moments that will make even the most morally stable person nervous and worried. This is not a deviation from the norm, since stress is also a function of the body, and a protective one. When experiencing stress, your brain sheds some of its responsibilities: thought processes and coordination deteriorate, and you find it difficult to make important decisions. But at the same time, you get a small rush of adrenaline, which makes you nervously shake your leg or quickly finger your fingers. It's normal to be nervous, but if you can ruin an important meeting with your condition, or signs of anxiety appear too often, you need to start solving this problem immediately.

How to stop being nervous and calm down quickly

Suppose you came to an important interview, or again found yourself taking exams on which your fate depends. Scary? Of course. Any person, realizing the significance of the situation, will begin to get nervous and panic. To quickly relieve anxiety, there are several techniques that will relieve symptoms: they will calm your breathing, normalize your heart rhythm, and help coordination.

Breathing technique

Even experienced psychologists offer this method in their sessions. The point is to gradually calm your breathing, then your pulse will begin to return to normal. Once you feel better, you can put your thoughts in order and gather your strength.

Start counting down the seconds slowly.
Slowly exhale all the air from your lungs for four seconds.
Hold your breath for the next two seconds.
Inhale as deeply as possible for four seconds.
Hold your breath again for two seconds.

This type of breathing should be maintained for as long as possible. The effect will not come immediately, give your body time. Five minutes will be more than enough.

Focus on other things

If the feeling of concern comes on suddenly: during work or at home, do not let your emotions ruin your relationships with your loved ones. Concentrate your attention on other things, for example, look for a person you don’t know well and observe what he is doing and why. As a pleasant bonus, you will learn a lot of new things about the people around you.

Especially for such cases, many people find a hobby: something entertaining and frivolous. You can try to throw a coin from one finger to another, or hide a card like a magician. There are even professional classes for spinning a pen between your fingers, which is called handspinning. Just try to take a break from the hustle and bustle around you and immerse yourself in your own affairs.

Just dream

This method will not work if you are at an interview or other important meeting: you cannot dream here, you will be misunderstood. But if you cannot calm down in your daily routine, when you are very excited about something, then just put everything aside for a couple of minutes. Imagine what you want: just a little change. Maybe it will be ice cream, or a family weekend, enslaving the world or your own helicopter. Think about whatever you want. In a few minutes you will understand how much more interesting there is in life, besides your subject of excitement.

How to become calmer and not be nervous

Any techniques and exercises are only relieving the symptoms of the main problem. Relying on them is like taking painkillers for deep caries. If you get nervous often, then you need to see a doctor. Unfortunately, in the CIS countries and, in particular, in our country, the practice of turning to a psychologist and psychotherapist is not yet widespread. Meanwhile, your psychological problems easily lead to physical ones. They only accumulate with age, which makes the situation worse.

Think about it: perhaps you can’t calm down because something is gnawing at you from the inside: an unresolved quarrel, resentment, an unfulfilled promise. You need to resolve all the problems that could cause this condition and only then will you become calm.

“All illnesses come from nerves!” – Many people repeat this phrase today. If you find a way to stop getting nervous over trifles and become calmer, then, as they say, you will be both happy and healthy...

You can try to become calm, using the recommendations of psychologists; they often give advice: start meditating or throw out the negativity on paper, don’t keep it to yourself, say affirmations, go out to a deserted place and shout loudly. As a rule, all methods offer to relieve already accumulated tension, but what can be done to prevent it from arising? How to stop worrying about trifles?

Doctors meet such patients every day, they always ask the question of how to stop being nervous. Everyone has anxiety, stress and its different manifestations. Most often, sedatives are prescribed, something harmless and light, herbal. But there is practically no effect or it is short-lived.

So how can you stop getting nervous over trifles?

Now we are not talking about severe stress, such as losing a job or serious problems in your personal life. We are talking about little things that make life miserable for us and our loved ones - the elevator is delayed, a nail breaks, the phone runs out at the wrong time, the transport is crowded, etc.

This is irritation at the slightest provocation, when everyone gets angry both at home and at work. Incomprehensible fears or inexplicable anxiety may appear out of nowhere. Often the anxiety of an excellent student before an exam is of the same nature.

These events seem like small things from the outside. For an irritated person this is a disaster, he begins to freak out, then he is left without strength, but he cannot calm down and not worry.

Meanwhile, there is a way to significantly increase your stress resistance. You can become calm and balanced with the help of the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan.

Why do experiences appear?

For some, the reaction to stress is manifested by worries and fears, for others it is skin rashes and itching, for others it is intestinal upset or arrhythmia. Everyone feels bad, but bad in different ways. And this is connected with the mental characteristics of a particular person. By understanding this device, you can make your life much easier.

The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan reveals the true causes of irritation. Any person experiences stress and dissatisfaction with life when he is unaware of his natural desires or ignores them, trying to live according to someone else’s program. It seems to us that we want a little: love, prosperity, peace in the world. What does a person really want? Sometimes we can only guess about this!

For example, a gentle, sensitive girl loses her peace. She, a representative of the visual vector, was born for love; she needs sublime feelings and strong emotional connections like air. This is her way of coping with her fear of loneliness. Severing emotional connections can lead to unreasonable fears, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances and vision problems.

The “donut” who wants to become a slim model by any means is nervous. She exhausts herself with endless diets and long hours in the gym. Then you want to bite someone. I’m ready to give everything in the world for a pie. And the kilograms continue to spoil the “problem” areas.

How to stop being nervous and worried

To stop being nervous and worried, you need to understand the people you encounter and come into contact with. Do you understand them? Are you sure?

It happens that a person sees in others the manifestation of some character traits that he himself does not have, and he considers these properties a vice or gaps in upbringing. Experiences and constant indignation shake his nerves. And the irritant does not need to strengthen the nervous system, he already sleeps peacefully. System-vector psychology explains people’s reactions to the behavior of others that irritates them.

There are people who lose their temper when faced with slowness and clumsiness at home or at work. It is incomprehensible how you can sway and turn in one direction for half an hour, when during this time you can run back and forth. These are carriers of the skin vector. They themselves are fast and agile. Can do several things at the same time. And write, and listen, and also communicate on the phone. They consider a slow, balanced person, who is a carrier of the anal vector, to be a brake. Out of resentment over wasted time, they may begin to itch and their skin may break out in rashes.

And sluggish people get on the nerves of skin rushers who take on everything at once, make a blunder and often do not finish what they start. Well, how can you become calmer and not be nervous? We need to COMPLETE it, bring it to an ideal state, and not abandon it halfway. When such people are tugged and rushed, they often have complaints of interruptions in heart function, abdominal pain and abnormal bowel movements.

How to stop being nervous over trifles and be healthy

System-vector psychology explains that a person always has the appropriate properties to realize his natural desires.

A girl with an anal vector was born to be a housewife, she is homely and cozy, she knows how to cook deliciously, sew and knit. She probably won't want to be a model. Her natural desire is to start a family, run a home, create comfort, and raise children. She, with a penchant for working with papers, assiduous and scrupulous, will not become a successful sales manager. Force her to do something she doesn't like, and at the same time push her and rush her - she will experience stress and stress.
A fast and dexterous owner of the skin vector, who needs change like air, will want a change in impressions and movement at work. He is not able to get carried away by monotonous reports. Therefore, it is difficult to imagine him in the role of a calm accountant. Deprive him of movement, put him in the office to do only papers, problems may appear - flickering, restlessness and itching, pain in the spine.

Become calmer and learn to live among people

We are constantly nervous about trifles, and our daily life consists of a series of small events. A meeting, a glance, and a conversation can become a reason for worry. Learn to understand those around you, and they will stop annoying you. A look filled with understanding and joy will eventually be met with warmth and understanding in return.