home Calculators Psychosomatics in children: finding the underlying causes of the disease. Why our children get sick: psychosomatics of diseases The child does not speak psychosomatics

Psychosomatics in children: finding the underlying causes of the disease. Why our children get sick: psychosomatics of diseases The child does not speak psychosomatics

Doctors say that “this is chronic” and write out another prescription for pills or injections. Psychosomatic medicine can break the vicious circle, which will allow us to establish the true underlying causes of the disease and tell us how to cure the child.

What it is

Psychosomatics is a direction in medicine that examines the connection between soul and body, the influence of mental and psychological factors on the development of certain diseases. Many great physicians have described this connection, arguing that every physical ailment has a psychological root cause. Even today, many practicing doctors are confident that the recovery process, for example, after surgery, is directly influenced by the patient’s mood, his belief in a better outcome, and his state of mind.

This connection began to be studied most actively by doctors at the beginning of the 19th century; doctors from the USA, Russia, and Israel made a great contribution to this study in the middle of the 20th century. Today, doctors talk about a psychosomatic illness if a detailed examination of the child does not show any physical causes that could contribute to the development of his illness. There are no reasons, but the disease is there. From a psychosomatic point of view, ineffective treatment is also considered. If all doctor’s orders are followed, medications are taken, and the disease does not subside, then this may also be evidence of its psychosomatic origin.

Psychosomatic specialists consider any illness, even an acute one, from the point of view of a direct connection between soul and body. They believe that a person has everything necessary to recover; the main thing is to understand the underlying causes of the illness and take measures to eliminate them. If you express this thought in one phrase, you get a statement familiar to everyone - “All diseases come from nerves.”

Principles

Psychosomatics is based on several important principles that parents must know if they decide to look for the true causes of their child’s illness:

Negative thoughts, anxiety, depression, fears, if they are quite long-lasting or deeply “hidden”, always lead to the occurrence of certain physical diseases. If you change your way of thinking and attitudes, then the disease that did not “respond” to medications will go away.
If the cause is found correctly, then the cure will not be difficult.

The human body as a whole, like each of its cells, has the ability to self-heal and regenerate. If you allow the body to do this, the healing process will be faster.
Any illness in a child indicates that the child cannot be himself, that he is experiencing an internal conflict. If the situation is resolved, the disease will recede.

Who is most susceptible to psychosomatic illnesses?

The answer to this question is clear - any child of any age and gender. However, most often diseases have psychosomatic causes in children who are in periods of age-related crises (1 year old, 3 years old, 7 years old). The imagination of all children is very vivid and realistic; sometimes in children the line between fictional and real is blurred. Which parent has not at least once noticed that a child who really doesn’t want to go to kindergarten in the morning gets sick more often? And all because he creates the disease himself, he needs it in order not to do what he really doesn’t want - not to go to kindergarten.

Illness is needed as a way to attract attention, if little attention is paid to it in the family, because they communicate with a sick child more than with a healthy one, they surround him with care and even gifts. Illness in children is often a protective mechanism in frightening and uncertain situations, as well as a way to express protest if the family has been in an environment for a long time in which the baby is uncomfortable. Many parents who have gone through a divorce know very well that at the peak of worries and family drama, the child began to get sick “at just the wrong time.” All of these are just the most elementary examples of the action of psychosomatics. There are also more complex, deep-seated reasons hidden far in the child’s subconscious.

Before looking for them, you need to pay attention to the child’s individual qualities, his character, and the manner in which he reacts to stressful situations.

The most serious and chronic diseases occur in children who:

do not know how to cope with stress;
communicate little with parents and others about their personal problems and experiences;
are in a pessimistic mood, always waiting for an unpleasant situation or a trick;
are under the influence of total and constant parental control;

they do not know how to rejoice, they do not know how to prepare surprises and gifts for others, or give joy to others;
they are afraid of not meeting the high demands that parents and teachers or educators place on them;
cannot maintain a daily routine, do not get enough sleep or eat poorly;
painfully and strongly take other people’s opinions into account;
they don’t like to part with the past, throw away old broken toys, make new friends, or move to a new place of residence;
prone to frequent depression.

It is clear that individually each of the listed factors happens from time to time to every person. The development of the disease is influenced by the duration of the emotion or experience, and therefore long-term depression is dangerous, not one-time apathy; long-term fear is dangerous, not a momentary state. Any negative emotion or attitude, if it lasts long enough, can cause a certain disease.

How to find the reason

All diseases, without exception, according to the world's famous psychosomatics (Louise Hay, Lise Burbo and others), are built on five main vivid emotions:

They need to be considered in three perspectives - how the child sees himself (self-esteem), how the child sees the world around him (attitude to events, phenomena, values), how the child interacts with other people (the presence of conflicts, including hidden ones). You need to establish a trusting relationship with the child, try to find out with him what worries and worries him, what upsets him, are there people he doesn’t like, what is he afraid of. Child psychologists and psychotherapists can help with this. As soon as the approximate circle of the child’s emotions is outlined, you can begin to work through the underlying causes.

Some popular authors (the same Louise Hay) have compiled psychosomatic tables to make the task easier. They indicate diseases and the most common causes of their occurrence. However, you cannot blindly trust such tables, because they are quite average, often compiled by observing a small group of people with similar symptoms and emotional experiences. Tables do not take into account your child's personality and personality, and this is a very important point. Therefore, it is advisable to familiarize yourself with the tables, but it is better to analyze the situation yourself or contact a specialist in the field of psychosomatics - now there are such people.

It should be understood that if the disease has already manifested itself, it is obvious, then a very long path has been covered - from thought to emotion, from the creation of erroneous attitudes to the transformation of these attitudes into an incorrect way of thinking. Therefore, the search process can be quite long. After the cause is found, you will have to work on all the changes that it caused in the body - this will be the treatment process. The fact that the cause has been found correctly and the healing process has begun will be indicated by an improvement in the general condition and a decrease in symptoms. Parents will almost immediately notice positive changes in the baby’s well-being.

Development of the disease

You need to understand that the thought itself does not cause an attack of appendicitis or allergies. But thought gives an impulse to muscle contraction. This connection is clear to everyone - the brain gives commands to the muscles, setting them in motion. If a child has an internal conflict, then one thought will tell him “act” and the muscles will be alert. And the other (conflicting) emotion will say “don’t do that” and the muscle will freeze in a state of readiness, not making a movement, but not returning to its original calm state.

This mechanism, quite primitively, can explain why the disease develops. We are talking not only about the muscles of the arms, legs, back, but also about the small and deep muscles of the internal organs. At the cellular level, with a prolonged spasm that is practically not felt, metabolic changes begin. Gradually, the tension is transferred to neighboring muscles, tendons, and ligaments, and with sufficient accumulation, a moment comes when the weakest organ cannot stand it and stops functioning as it should.

The brain “signals” not only to the muscles, but also to the endocrine glands. It is known that fear or sudden joy causes an increase in the production of adrenaline by the adrenal glands. In the same way, other emotions affect the balance of hormones and secretory fluids in the body. When there is an imbalance, which is inevitable with prolonged exposure to a certain organ, disease begins.

If a child does not know how to “reset” emotions, but only accumulates them, without expressing them, without sharing his thoughts with others, hiding his real experiences from them, fearing being misunderstood, punished, condemned, then the tension reaches a certain point and is released in the form illness, because energy output is needed in any form. This argument looks very convincing - two children who live in the same city, in the same ecological environment, who eat the same, have the same gender and age, do not have congenital diseases, and are ill for some reason in different ways. One will get sick with ARVI up to ten times during the season, while the other will not get sick even once.

Thus, the influence of ecology, lifestyle, nutrition, and immune status is not the only thing that affects the incidence of disease. A child with psychological problems will get sick several times a year, but a child without such problems will never get sick. The psychosomatic picture of congenital diseases is not yet entirely obvious to researchers. But most specialists in the field of psychosomatics consider such ailments as a consequence of a woman’s incorrect attitudes and thoughts during pregnancy and even long before its onset. First of all, it is important to understand exactly how the woman perceived her children before pregnancy, what emotions the fetus evoked in her during pregnancy, and also how she felt about the child’s father at that time.

In harmonious couples who mutually love and are expecting their baby, children suffer from congenital diseases much less often than in families where the mother experienced rejection of the father’s words and actions, if she regularly thought that it was not worth getting pregnant at all. Few mothers raising disabled children, children with severe congenital illnesses are ready to admit even to themselves that there were negative thoughts, hidden conflicts, fears, and rejection of the fetus at some moments, maybe even thoughts about abortion. It is doubly difficult to later realize that the child is sick because of the mistakes of adults. But the mother can still help alleviate his condition and improve the quality of life if she has the courage to work through the underlying causes of the baby’s illness.

Possible causes of some diseases

As already mentioned, the reasons should be considered only taking into account the character and characteristics of this particular child, his family environment, the relationship between parents and the baby, and other factors that may influence the psyche and emotional state of the child. We will present only a few diagnoses that have been most studied by the psychosomatic direction of medicine with possible causes of their occurrence: (for the description, data from several diagnostic tables were used - L. Hay, V. Sinelnikova, V. Zhikarentsev):

Adenoids

Quite often, adenoiditis develops in children who feel unwanted (subconsciously). Mom should remember whether she felt the desire to have an abortion, whether there was disappointment after childbirth, or postpartum depression. With adenoids, the child “asks” for love and attention, and also calls on parents to abandon conflicts and quarrels. To help a child, you need to change your attitude towards him, satisfy his needs for love, and resolve conflicts with his other half.

Treatment attitude: “My baby is desired, loved, we have always needed him.”

Autism

The most likely cause of autism is considered to be a defensive reaction that the baby turned on at some point in order to “shut off” from scandal, screaming, insults, and beatings. Researchers believe that the risk of developing autism is higher if a child witnesses strong parental scandals with possible violence before the age of 8-10 months. Congenital autism, which doctors associate with a gene mutation, from a psychosomatic point of view, is a long-term feeling of danger in the mother, possibly from her very childhood, fears during pregnancy.

Atopic dermatitis

Like most diseases that are related in one way or another to allergies, atopic dermatitis is an aversion to something. The more a child does not want to take someone or something, the stronger the manifestations of an allergic reaction. In a baby, atopic dermatitis can be a signal that the touch of an adult is unpleasant for him (if he is picked up with too cold or wet hands, if the person emanates a sharp and unpleasant odor to the baby). The baby thus asks not to touch him. Treatment setting: “The baby is safe, he is not in danger. All the people around wish him well and health. He feels comfortable with people."

The same installation can be used for other types of allergies. The situation requires eliminating the unpleasant physical impact.

Asthma, bronchial asthma

These illnesses, like some other diseases associated with the occurrence of respiratory failure, occur more often in children who are pathologically strongly attached to their mother. Their love is literally “suffocating.” Another option is the severity of parents when raising a son or daughter. If a child is taught from a very early age that it is forbidden to cry, laughing loudly is indecent, and jumping and running in the street is the height of bad form, then the child grows up afraid to express his true needs. They gradually begin to “strangle” him from the inside. New Attitudes: “My child is safe and loved deeply and unconditionally. He can express his emotions perfectly, he sincerely cries and rejoices.” Mandatory measures are to eliminate pedagogical “excesses”.

Angina

The illness may indicate a child’s fear of saying something, asking for something very important to him. Sometimes children are afraid to raise their voice in their own defense. Sore throat is more common in timid and indecisive children, quiet and shy. By the way, similar underlying causes may lie in children suffering from laryngitis or laryngotracheitis. New attitudes: “My child has the right to vote. He was born with this right. He can openly and boldly say everything he thinks! " To the standard treatment of sore throat or chronic tonsillitis, you should definitely add role-playing story games or a visit to a psychologist’s office so that the child can realize his right to be heard.

Bronchitis

Bronchitis, especially chronic, is very necessary for a child in order to reconcile his parents or other relatives with whom he lives together or to defuse the tense situation in the family. When a baby is choked by a cough, adults automatically fall silent (pay attention on occasion - this is really true!). New attitudes: “My child lives in harmony and peace, he likes to communicate with everyone, he enjoys listening to everything around him, because he hears only good things.” Mandatory parental actions are urgent measures to eliminate conflicts, and it is necessary to remove not only their “loudness,” but also the very fact of their existence.

Myopia

The causes of myopia, like most vision problems, are the reluctance to see something. Moreover, this reluctance is conscious and decisive. A child can become nearsighted at the age of 3-4 due to the fact that from birth he sees something in his family that frightens him and forces him to close his eyes. This can be a difficult relationship between parents, physical violence, and even the daily visit of a nanny whom the child does not like (in this case, the child often develops an allergy to something in parallel).

At an older age (in school and adolescence), diagnosed myopia may indicate a child’s lack of goals, plans for the future, unwillingness to see beyond today, fear of responsibility for decisions made independently. In general, many problems with the organs of vision are associated with these reasons (blepharitis, conjunctivitis, and in case of anger - stye). New attitude: “My child clearly sees his future and himself in it. He likes this beautiful, interesting world, he sees all its colors and details.” At a younger age, it is necessary to correct relationships in the family and review the child’s social circle. As a teenager, a child needs help with career guidance, communication and cooperation with adults, and carrying out their responsible assignments.

Diarrhea

We are not talking about a single diarrhea, but about a problem that is protracted or diarrhea that recurs with enviable frequency. Children tend to react with loose stools to severe fear and expressed anxiety. Diarrhea is an escape from something that cannot be comprehended by a child. These can be mystical experiences (fear of Babai, zombies) and very real fears (fear of the dark, spiders, cramped spaces, and so on). It is necessary to identify the cause of fear and eliminate it. If this does not work at home, you should definitely seek help from a psychologist.

New attitude: “My baby is not afraid of anyone. He is brave and strong. He lives in a safe space where he is not in danger."

Constipation

A tendency to constipation is common in greedy children, as well as in adults. Constipation can also indicate a child’s reluctance to part with something. Sometimes constipation begins to torment a child precisely at a time when he is experiencing serious life changes - moving, transferring to a new school or kindergarten. The child does not want to part with old friends, with the old apartment, where everything is clear and familiar to him. Problems with stool begin. Constipation in a baby may be associated with his subconscious desire to return back to the familiar and protected environment of the mother's womb.

New treatment setting: “My child easily parts with everything that he no longer needs. He is ready to accept everything new.” In practice, confidential communication is required, frequent discussion of the merits of a new kindergarten or a new apartment.

Stuttering

Quite often, a child who does not feel safe for quite a long time begins to stutter. This speech defect is also typical for children who are strictly forbidden to cry. Children who stutter deep down suffer greatly from the inability to express themselves. It should be understood that this opportunity disappeared earlier than normal speech, and in many ways its disappearance was the cause of the problem.

New attitude: “My child has great opportunities to show the world his talents. He's not afraid to express his feelings." In practice, it is good for a stutterer to engage in creativity, drawing and music, but best of all, singing. Categorical prohibitions on crying are the path to illness and problems.

Runny nose

Prolonged rhinitis may indicate that the child has low self-esteem, that he urgently needs to understand his true value in this world, to recognize his abilities and merits. If a child feels that the world does not understand him and does not appreciate him and this condition drags on, sinusitis may be diagnosed. Treatment attitude: “My child is the best. He is happy and very loved. I just need him." Additionally, you need to work with the child’s assessment of himself, praise him more often, and encourage him.

Like any other hearing diseases, otitis media can be caused by negative words, swearing, and obscenities, which the child is forced to listen to from adults. Not wanting to listen to something, the child deliberately limits his hearing abilities. The mechanism of development of sensorineural hearing loss and deafness is more complex. In the case of such problems, the child categorically refuses to listen to someone or something that greatly hurts him, insults him, and degrades his dignity. In adolescents, hearing problems are associated with a reluctance to listen to parental instructions. Treatment attitudes: “My child is obedient. He hears well, he likes to listen and hear every detail of this world.”

In fact, you need to reduce excessive parental control, talk with your child about topics that are pleasant and interesting to him, and get rid of the habit of “reading morals.”

Increased temperature, fever

Unreasonable fever, an elevated temperature that persists for no apparent reason during normal tests, may indicate internal anger that has accumulated in the child. A child can become angry at any age, and the inability to express anger comes out in the form of fever. The younger the child, the more difficult it is for him to express his feelings in words, the higher his temperature. New attitudes: “My child is positive, he doesn’t get angry, he knows how to let go of negativity, doesn’t accumulate it and doesn’t hold grudges against people.” In fact, you should set your child up for something good. The baby’s attention needs to be switched to a beautiful toy with kind eyes. You definitely need to talk to your big child and find out what conflict situations he has recently had and who he holds a grudge against. After talking through the problem, the child will feel much better, and the temperature will begin to decrease.

Pyelonephritis

This disease quite often develops in children who are forced to do something other than their own. Mom wants her son to become a hockey player, so the child is forced to attend the sports section, while he himself is closer to playing the guitar or drawing landscapes with wax crayons. Such a child with suppressed emotions and desires is the optimal candidate for the role of a patient of a nephrologist. New attitude: “My child is doing what he loves and is interesting, he is talented and has a great future.” In practice, you need to allow the child to choose something he likes, and if hockey has not been a joy for a long time, you need to part with the section without regrets and go to the music school where he is so eager.

Enuresis

The main reason for this unpleasant nighttime phenomenon is most often fear and even horror. Moreover, most often, according to experts in the field of psychosomatics, the child’s feeling of fear is somehow connected with the father - with his personality, behavior, the father’s educational methods, his attitude towards the child and his mother. New attitudes: “The child is healthy and not afraid of anything. His dad loves and respects him and wishes him well.” In fact, sometimes quite extensive psychological work with parents is required.

conclusions

Vomiting, cystitis, pneumonia, epilepsy, frequent ARVI, stomatitis, diabetes, psoriasis and even lice - each diagnosis has its own psychosomatic cause. The main rule of psychosomatics is not to replace traditional medicine. Therefore, searching for causes and eliminating them at a psychological and deeper level should be done in parallel with the prescribed treatment. Thus, the likelihood of recovery increases significantly, and the risk of relapse is noticeably reduced, because a psychological problem found and solved correctly is one disease minus.

See the following video for all about the psychosomatic causes of childhood illnesses.

Psychosomatics table

The psychosomatic table describes the main causes of diseases and their psychosomatics. The table is intended to assist traditional methods and techniques for treating various pathologies and helps to track the cause-and-effect relationship of diseases.

In the treatment of somatic diseases, modern medicine is increasingly turning to psychological help, where they try to find not the consequence, but the cause of a psychosomatic disease.

Modern medicine suggests the existence of some primary causes of pathologies. Here are some of them:

Genetic predisposition.
Experienced stress and psychological trauma (childhood and adult psychotraumatic experience, disasters, military operations, terrorism, death of a loved one, etc.).
Internal conflict with oneself (depression, unexpressed fear, anger, resentment, guilt and self-hatred, etc.).

Currently, the interdisciplinary scientific direction is psychosomatics. The table of psychosomatic diseases contains information about the main causes of diseases.

Psychological causes of childhood diseases (table)

Psychosomatics of childhood diseases: elimination of unobvious causes and treatment of diseases.

A frequently ill child is not uncommon today. Traditionally, poor physical health of a child has been associated with poor ecology and an underdeveloped immune system. There is a serious omission in this issue, because when talking about health, one cannot take into account only the physical side (a healthy body); it is necessary to take into account more subtle matters (mental, emotional, psychological).

Some scientific terminology

The founder of the modern concept of stress, Canadian physician and scientist Hans Selye was one of the first to point out the connection between emotional stress and illness. He concluded that fear, anger and other strong feelings cause the adrenal glands to enlarge due to the excessive effect of pituitary hormones on them.

In other words, severe stress and anxiety cause the brain to send signals to the hypothalamus, pituitary gland and adrenal glands so that these glands begin to produce certain hormones. The adrenal glands produce adrenaline, which is distributed throughout the body. If the stress is short-lived, the adrenaline rush is usually beneficial. But for normal functioning, the body needs a certain amount of each hormone, which must be in balance. A lack or excess of a certain hormone leads to negative physical consequences and disruption of the functioning of internal organs.

The release of adrenaline into the blood is accompanied by the release of another hormone - cortisol. Over time, excess cortisol leads to increased blood sugar and insulin levels, decreased immunity, increased fat accumulation, bone depletion, and so on.

Dr. N. Volkova believes that psychological disorders cause 85% of body diseases; in 15% of cases it was not possible to prove a direct relationship, but it most likely exists. The specialist considers the psychological aspects to be the “conductor” of the disease, while external factors (hypothermia, infections) act only secondary. That is, in a calm state, your immune system is able to cope with the disease, but under stress it is not.

N. Volkova agrees with Dr. A. Maneghetti. In his work “Psychosomatics”, the author argues that in order to overcome a chronic (or frequently occurring) illness, psychological change is necessary.

Children's illnesses also have this psychological, subconscious component. How to understand the true cause of a child’s illness and help the baby?

The vast majority of childhood diseases are associated with the eyes, nose, ears, skin, and throat. Children's illnesses indicate that they cannot fully express their feelings (due to inability to do so or parental prohibition). Diseases are the result of a lack of love, attention and care.

From the moment of birth, a child enters a social environment with his own set of beliefs. However, from birth the baby has his own beliefs. The child will have to adapt to the people around him. The child must understand that he has the right to express his emotions and feelings, even if adults do not like it, but he must also understand that the people around him have their own affairs, worries, and they cannot devote all their free time to him.

Practicing psychotherapist, homeopath, psychologist V.V. Sinelnikov in his book “Love your illness” draws attention to the characteristics of childhood illnesses. Often, deep emotional experiences are hidden behind a physical illness. To defeat the disease, parents and the child will need to undergo a serious psychological change.

Children are connected to their parents on a subtle energy level, and childhood illnesses are a reflection of relationships in the family. The child feels tension in the relationship between close relatives, even if no one shows hostility towards each other in front of him.

How do children feel the state of their parents? A little more theory.

Petranovskaya: “Very roughly speaking, the brain can be divided into “external” (cortical) - this is our mind (“ordinary brain”) and “internal” - the limbic system, which is responsible for our most basic, vital needs: food, safety, hunger , cold, love, bliss, warmth, fear, emotions. It also regulates immunity, blood pressure, hormone releases and is generally responsible for the connection between the psyche and the body, as well as ATTACHMENT. The deep emotional connection that exists between a child and “his” adult is called affection.

In a stressful situation, the internal brain sets off an alarm. The higher the stress, the louder the signal. In this case, the external brain simply “blows away”, it loses its ability to work, and we are unable to think clearly. By the way, the nature of stress can be anything: severe fright, grief, intense love, and an unexpected win in the lottery do not add to our rationality. As psychologists say, “affect inhibits intelligence.”

Professor Alan Shore has reviewed a large amount of scientific literature and made significant contributions to the development of neuroscience. He emphasizes that the growth of brain cells is “a consequence of the interaction of the infant with the primary caregiver (usually the mother).” The attitude towards a child in the first two years of life determines the possibility of full functioning of his brain in the future. ⁠Upbringing has a direct impact on the functioning of the child’s genes.

Therefore, for the proper development of the baby’s nervous system and brain, a calm state of the mother and the environment is so important.

From this position, one cannot but agree with the statement that children are responsible for the sins of their parents. However, you should not blindly blame yourself for the wrong behavior that caused the child’s illness. Any baby’s illness should be regarded as a signal for internal change.

If a child gets sick, parents should reconsider relationships in the family, change them for the better, and work together to achieve harmony. Most modern parents ignore such children's signals. They try to treat the baby with all kinds of medications, forgetting about a comfortable psychological environment.

The child harmoniously combines the masculine (from the father) and feminine (from the mother) principles. The consciousness of a little person already contains emotions, feelings of both parents. If these thoughts are negative, then they have a detrimental effect on the health and development of the child. Therefore, the physical and mental health of their child depends on the relationships of parents in the family.

With physical and mental disorders, the child “screams” to his parents that he is uncomfortable.

So, in a family where parents constantly argue, children often develop inflammatory diseases of the ears, bronchi, and lungs. With these signals, the child makes it clear to his parents that peace and harmony are important to him. Are parents able to hear and understand a small child?

The mother herself can “tune” a child to illness. For those babies whose mothers seriously thought about abortion in the very early stages, the destruction program “turns on”, which can manifest itself in severe forms of common diseases.

From all that has been said, we can conclude that the behavior and thoughts of parents can “program” a child for illness. You can recover from a disease by realizing its true causes and changing.

This point of view is also supported by Dr. O. Torsunov. The author of unique healing methods, he is sure that in families in which there is no harmony and mutual understanding, children often get sick (fever, causeless screams, anxiety, hysterics).

Dr. L. Wilma in the book “Psychological Causes of Diseases” provides an extensive list of childhood diseases and the psychological problems that lead to them. So:

Sore throat in babies under one year of age is provoked by poor relationships in the family;
allergies - parents’ anger, the child’s fear that he is not loved;
The cause of asthma should be sought in a lack of love, constant suppression of feelings;
frequent headaches occur in children whose parents cannot resolve disagreements;
Children whose parents are used to quarreling and loudly sorting things out often have a sore throat;
the child’s worry about his dad provokes urinary incontinence;
violence against a child’s psyche results in mental retardation;
a child who is constantly shamed often suffers from ear diseases;
stooping is a manifestation of the mother’s excessive power;
schizophrenia can be a consequence of obsessive parental ideas.

Love yourself

He provides a detailed analysis of the causes of common childhood diseases in his book “Your Body Says “Love Yourself!” Liz Burbo. Childhood diseases do not appear on their own. They are often the result of deeper inner experiences.

Perhaps this article will completely change your understanding of childhood diseases and methods of treating them, but do not forget about the principle of reasonableness. Many people mistakenly begin to believe that psychosomatics cancels medical treatment. This is not so, a child’s illness is a signal of what is happening to him and this is already a consequence of the problem. Any disease is a combination of many factors, including psychological ones, and we cannot always analyze which ones and in what proportions. Sometimes we have the power to change or influence a situation, and sometimes we don’t. As for the child, he is able to develop harmoniously and grow in a calm environment of love and care (not “ideal-vacuum”, but simply calm for the most part), otherwise the baby will cope with stress in all the ways known to him.

Psychosomatics table: help from a psychologist for psychosomatic diseases

A person must be who he can be

The human body is an inexhaustible storehouse of a wide variety of resources: creativity, strength, energy and health. This is like a Kantian thing in itself, in the sense that the human body is a self-sufficient mechanism that can regulate its state. But, of course, this regulation directly depends on the goals and tasks assigned by a person to his body.

And the most important task of every person is to be happy. And sometimes, to find happiness and peace of mind, our body takes the most unexpected actions. So, no matter how paradoxical it may seem at first glance, for some it is simply beneficial to be sick.

Psychosomatics - a word consisting of two roots: soul and body - is no longer a new trend in psychology and medicine.

The term “psychosomatics,” meaning the mutual influence of a person’s mental and physical states on each other, appears already in ancient Greek philosophy.

The development of thought about the mental basis of many somatic (physical) diseases was very noticeable in the 19th century, in the era of the establishment of psychology as an independent science. Z. Freud, developing his theory of the unconscious, paid a lot of attention to psychosomatic diseases. And since the middle of the last century, this approach has become increasingly popular and attracts more and more specialists from the field of medicine and psychology.

Psychosomatic diseases

Psychosomatic diseases are diseases whose ancestor is mental processes, and not any physiological causes. Most often, they appear in people who have been in a situation of mental discomfort for a long time: a burden of responsibility placed on oneself and which has nothing to do with what the person really wants; severe grief experienced in the past, traumatic situations, discrepancy between the true image of the Self and the demands made by society... This list goes on and on. But the result is the same - a certain split occurs in the human body, and the body itself takes up arms against us.

The influence of the mental on the physical in children is especially noticeable: deterioration of vision or hearing, problems with speech, posture, attention disorders, headaches, bronchial asthma, etc. In adults, the causes and symptoms do not differ from children, except for a “bouquet” of diseases more magnificent.

In cases where traditional medicine cannot identify the organic cause of a disease, psychology comes to the rescue. Working with an experienced psychotherapist allows you to identify what exactly “triggered” the process of self-destruction and how to help yourself return to the path of health and joy. So every cloud has a silver lining: the symptom points us to unresolved problems, which means our body strives for harmony.

Psychosomatics - childhood diseases and their causes

Psychosomatics has been studied for quite some time, and numerous studies have been conducted. It was found that diseases due to psychosomatics develop not only in adults, but also in very young children. Moreover, it does not matter whether the child is raised in a very good environment or in dysfunctional families. In most cases, psychosomatics manifests itself at a very superficial level, but sometimes the reasons for this are hidden very deeply and are difficult to detect; in these cases, it is imperative to contact specialists.

Causes of psychosomatic illnesses

Very often, when illnesses occur in children, parents are very worried and perceive it as a test. Mom and dad visit doctors with enviable regularity, follow all the recommendations exactly, carefully monitor the child’s nutrition and warmth, and do not go to crowded places so that their beloved child does not become infected with infectious diseases. However, sometimes a child gets sick as if he had been hexed, nothing helps. With the wave of an eye, he catches various diseases, and nothing can be done about it.

Such parents should definitely know that psychosomatics may be possible causes of diseases. This usually happens in cases where specialists and doctors cannot find serious reasons for endless illnesses. There are no pathologies, but the child is still sick. He is treated, takes medicine, recovers and begins a normal life. But... It only lasts a couple of weeks, and then the disease comes again. Here you need to seriously think about psychosomatic disorders, and health deteriorates due to mental reasons, and not just physiology.

In this case, the pediatrician will be of little help; you should definitely go for a consultation with a psychologist. It is these specialists who identify and eliminate mental disorders. Nowadays the big problem is the psychosomatics of childhood diseases. Children who have problems with the gastrointestinal tract, cardiovascular system, urinary tract, bronchial asthma, diabetes, allergic reactions are constantly sick.

Their number is getting larger and larger, and the medical examination is very high quality, but doctors cannot do anything about it. That is why it is necessary to identify the psychological problems of the occurrence of diseases in order to eliminate them as soon as possible.

Adults also often experience illnesses that can be caused by psychosomatics. Moreover, the roots of the disorder usually lie in childhood. A person may not even remember the reasons for psychological instability; they have ambiguous emotional reactions. In adolescence, psychological problems are already gaining full force.

Statistics show that half of children suffer from vegetative-vascular dystonia, they also have unstable blood pressure, diseases of the gastrointestinal tract and gastritis. In adolescence, diseases such as atherosclerosis, which previously were exclusively age-related, are often detected. Why are children so susceptible to psychosomatic diseases? It's worth trying to figure this out.

Causes of psychosomatics

Not all children are able to cope with negative information and experiences; they have nowhere to put negative emotions, and they feel mental discomfort. Kids do not always understand what is really happening to them; they cannot tell what emotions they are experiencing at the moment. Only teenagers can already consciously perceive the surrounding reality and try to understand their psychological problems.

Young children feel extremely pressured and dissatisfied with life, but they cannot explain or do anything about it. They don't complain because they don't know how to describe the problem. Also, children are not able to relieve psychological stress. This is why children often experience psychosomatic disorders. The depressed state begins to actively affect the physical state of health. This is expressed in the acquisition of a chronic disease, which gradually eats the unfortunate child from the inside, preventing him from living in peace and enjoying himself.

Also, sometimes short-term illnesses may occur; the child may not even be aware of their causes. Painful symptoms appear only then. When the baby begins to think about his problem and cannot cope with it. Most mothers have gone through such situations when the child categorically refuses to go to kindergarten, he cries and is capricious in the morning. If this behavior does not help, and he still has to go to the garden, he begins to invent other reasons for refusal. He tells his mother that his throat and head, stomach and leg hurt.

Sometimes a child simply pretends and tries to manipulate his parents, but if the baby actually develops a cough and runny nose, fever, vomiting and nausea, then a psychosomatic illness is already developing. It is necessary to take into account social, psychological and somatic factors when a child is predisposed to psychosomatics.

Somatic factors

Such factors are certain characteristics of the child and the impact on him in early childhood, his predisposition to certain types of diseases. Such factors may be:

genetics and predisposition to certain diseases;
complications during the mother’s pregnancy or illness while carrying a child, injuries and infections at a time when the formation of the baby’s internal organs occurs;
disorders of the nervous and central system;
staphylococcus immediately after the birth of the baby;
hormonal imbalance or deviations in biochemistry after the birth of a toddler.

When a child is influenced by the factors described above, his health deteriorates. Psychosomatic diseases appear in those organs that are most weakened.

If it were not for the mental disorder, the disease might never have manifested itself at all. That is why experts are convinced that despite the fact that somatic factors are of great importance, it is mental factors that play a large role. A person should feel comfortable at home, adapt well to a team, a child should feel normal in kindergarten and school, and feel equal to others.

Psychosomatics in early childhood

Research conducted in the field of medical psychosomatics shows that signs of certain diseases can develop in a child at a very early age. Sometimes this even happens while the fetus is developing in the woman's stomach. Many are sure that such assumptions have no basis, because the baby in the stomach cannot yet experience emotions and experiences.

However, everything here is quite complicated. A mother who experiences certain emotions during pregnancy is susceptible to irritation and negativity, and this influences the child and his physical health. It is almost impossible to determine for sure whether diseases can already occur during pregnancy or whether they appear after the birth of the baby. But no one dares to deny such a connection. During the research, those children who were considered unwanted were examined. The expectant mother considered pregnancy unnecessary and was perceived negatively by the woman; her life plans were destroyed.

Such children already at the time of birth suffered from a wide variety of diseases and disorders. It could be bronchitis, asthma, gastrointestinal ulcers, allergic reactions, dystrophy, persistent respiratory diseases. That is, the unborn child tried to destroy himself on his own, so as not to disturb anyone. In order for the formation of the fetus to proceed normally, the expectant mother needs to be well disposed, the woman needs to be supported by her spouse, close and dear people. All negative emotions have a great impact on the development of the baby, so it is worth helping the expectant mother to be in a good mood. If this is not done, then immediately after the birth of the baby he will develop various diseases.

Even if a mother dreams of giving birth to a baby, she pays attention to how others treat her. If she does not feel love and understanding, then she begins to show not very good emotions, which affect the unborn baby. All this applies not only to the period of bearing a child. The emotional state of the mother greatly influences the child during the first months of life. After birth, the baby becomes a separate person from his parents, but he maintains a close connection with them. The mother symbolizes the baby’s external world; it is through her that he perceives the surrounding reality, looks at the reaction and learns to show his own. All the mother’s worries and worries are passed on to the child.

When preventing psychosomatics, you need to try to provide the most comfortable emotional conditions in the house, to limit the mother from worries, because the child absorbs everything like a sponge. That is why it is necessary for the expectant mother to be positive before and after the birth of the baby. This is what can protect the baby from psychosomatic diseases.

Asthma and psychosomatics in children

The characteristics of the causes of bronchial asthma due to psychosomatics can be very different. They need to be described in more detail. If the mother immediately after the birth of the baby does not pay enough attention to him, then the child may develop bronchial asthma. Sometimes it happens that the disease manifests itself closer to five years of age. It is imperative to think about the relationship between parents and their children in order to determine the cause of the disease. It is likely that mom and dad demand too much from their child, they have a strong influence on him, and he cannot realize himself.

As a result, the baby is unable to express his own emotions, suppresses feelings and intentions, which causes periodic suffocation, because he really cannot breathe. When raising a child in a dysfunctional family, poor conditions, the child suffers greatly from lack of attention, and therefore tries in every way to change the situation. All this provokes the occurrence of diseases with the respiratory system. Psychosomatics is one of the main factors in the development of child diseases.

Elimination of psychosomatics

In order to eliminate diseases or alleviate them, it is necessary to get rid of the psychosomatic causes that caused the development of diseases of the respiratory organs. That's why it's worth:

visit a psychotherapist;
undergo acupuncture;
undergo climatotherapy.

It is necessary to increase the child’s resistance to stressful situations; sedative medications, motherwort tincture and valerian will help with this.

Psychotherapy and asthma

Psychotherapy should be carried out in order to increase the child's life opportunities and strength. It is imperative to eliminate emotional disorders and form optimal behavior and reactions to various stressful situations. Typically, those patients who have bronchial asthma are quite withdrawn and shy, they do not know how to express themselves and restrain their emotions, they constantly feel the negative and refuse to accept the positive.

Asthmatics constantly express denial, repress emotions and regress. For such children, group classes and trainings under the guidance of an experienced psychologist are excellent. The groups practice breathing exercises, autogenic training and functional relaxation. It means a lot what kind of relationship a child has in the family and what kind of atmosphere there is. It is imperative for the spouses to improve their relationship with each other, because the child feels any negativity.

Statistical data

Typically, bronchial asthma occurs in childhood around five years of age. Psychologists have long noticed that in most cases this disease is observed in boys, because the demands placed on them are often excessive and they are brought up under strict rules. Many may well get rid of the disease in adolescence, when they begin to open up and spill out emotions.

Psychosomatics in bronchial asthma plays a decisive role. This must be taken into account. You should react normally to stressful situations, forget about mistakes and troubles. You should engage in self-improvement, open up to others and communicate as much as possible.

The cause of illness in children is psychosomatics

Many diseases can be hereditary, but if children grow up in unfavorable conditions, then most of the diseases are psychosomatic. The child’s personality, his ability to adapt in a team and school, various stressful situations - all these are psychosomatic problems. Psychosomatics manifests itself due to some reasons that can be placed in the table:

improper upbringing and bad atmosphere in the family;
nervous state of parents and tense atmosphere;
bad family relationships;
unbearable study load, the child has no free time;
excessive demands on the child;
parents do not perceive the child as a separate person, his individuality;
parents force the child to be better than he really is;

Psychosomatic problems and disorders can be seen even in newly born babies, schoolchildren or teenagers. Moreover, in preschool age they become most noticeable. Children cannot cope with numerous difficulties, they have to establish relationships with the team and teachers, they cannot cope with this and react negatively to them. As a result, various diseases appear.

Infantile children grow up in dysfunctional families with improper upbringing. They are unable to refuse to attend school, because they are forced to listen to the opinions of their parents and fulfill their demands. Every child knows perfectly well what self-esteem and pride are, but he cannot firmly defend his beliefs, so he begins to get sick. As the baby grows up, they begin to devote less time to him, but demand more and more. Nobody notices how the child experiences this, and no one wants to do it.

Children become lonely, they believe that they cannot achieve anything. That they are not loved and appreciated, they suffer greatly from this. Often a child is humiliated by everyone around him, but no one sees it. Psychosomatics are often observed in those children from whom their parents demand too much. Children try with all their might to do everything possible to meet expectations; peers for them are not friends, but rivals. They begin to suffer from high self-esteem, end up feeling envious of others, and have a negative attitude towards those who achieve greater success. As a result, such children often suffer from gastrointestinal diseases. They get stomach ulcers.

Children try to fight hard to succeed and become better than others, but they begin to suffer from numerous diseases. The body sends signals to such children, but they do not understand this and continue to fight a ridiculous struggle. The child becomes overly touchy and cries constantly, he does not feel well physically, he begins to have a headache, and he cannot sleep at night. The body cannot cope with constant nervous tension.

Children begin to strongly conflict with everyone around them, demand the impossible, and parents strive to obey their flawless and sick child. Emotional rejection of something forms a child’s low self-esteem, but he is not going to accept it. He understands his inferiority, but shows protests and cruelty. Children try in every way to show that they are the best, but they do not have enough opportunities for this. They do not understand the signals of their own body, they lack the instinct of self-preservation.

At school, children try to achieve the impossible, show perseverance, but only develop various diseases due to overload of the nervous system. Psychosomatic diseases also manifest themselves when parents demand success from their child. He naturally obeys and tries to do everything to meet the expectations of his parents. However, in this way the child has no childhood, he cannot play and have fun with friends, he communicates only with serious people.

If a child is strong, then he is able to become successful, but if not, then he acquires a huge number of diseases. Already in kindergarten, such a child is very nervous and irritable, his sleep is disturbed. Such children suffer from vegetative-vascular dystonia, diseases of the gastrointestinal tract and pressure surges. Very often psychosomatics begins with parental provocation. If mom and dad are too suspicious and anxious, then the children become exactly the same. They begin to doubt their own abilities, expect failure, cannot trust others and parents, and experience fear.

The child tries to succeed, but constantly doubts his abilities, and in the end he fails. These children often have heart disease and many others. Children with psychosomatic disorders get sick with enviable consistency. Moreover, diseases arise so suddenly that it is sometimes impossible to understand what is bothering the child today. Parents constantly take their child to specialists and carry out all possible diagnostics, use different treatment methods, but nothing helps.

The situation is getting worse, but pathologies are simply not detected. When a person tries to find a disease, it definitely appears. If a child is constantly sick, then you should definitely consult a psychologist and figure out what’s troubling the little person. Then maybe health will return to normal if psychosomatics are eliminated.

Fragment of a lecture on the topic - child psychosomatics

“All diseases come from nerves” is a statement that is not without a large grain of truth. Surely you have noticed that optimistic people get sick less often?

The connection between emotional state and health has long been proven. And it can be observed not only in adults, but also in children.

However, too often child psychosomatics becomes the factor to which the child’s illness and a variety of health problems are “attributed.” But one cannot go to the other extreme, saying that there is no connection between the psyche and the body.

the site will tell the truth about the connection between childhood illnesses and problems in relationships with family members.

Children get sick in response to problems: the truth about childhood psychosomatics

Children's psychosomatics- this is what really exists. But you can’t attribute the baby’s illness solely to family problems.

A common “invisible” cause of childhood illnesses is low immunity. In this case, the body becomes susceptible to negative external factors - viruses, bad weather, poor nutrition, etc.

That is, a completely healthy child will freeze and not get sick, but a baby with a weakened immune system will definitely “catch” a cold. In this case, the second child can live in a completely prosperous family, and the first one can live with conflicting parents.

What conclusion follows from this? Sometimes a disease is just a disease.

Most childhood illnesses do not have a psychosomatic basis. First of all, analyze the child’s health and carefully examine him with a doctor. The main problem of frequent illnesses in childhood is reduced immunity.

Family situation: how deeply does child psychosomatics work?

This statement is partly true. Some childhood illnesses may indeed be a reaction to relationships between family members. At the same time, the child reacts both to obvious conflicts and to those that are hidden from him.

But it cannot be said that if a child is healthy, then he definitely lives in an ideal family. The fact is that some children are more resistant to stress than others. That’s why they tolerate negative information without visible consequences.

And there is another situation - everything seems to be fine in the family, but the child “does not recover” from illness.

Child psychosomatics and relationships with mother are closely related when we talk about children under three years of age. In this case, the child does not yet separate himself from his mother, and therefore reacts sensitively to all changes in her behavior.

Psychosomatic causes of childhood illnesses: truth or myth

Of course, any child’s illness cannot be attributed to psychosomatics. Experts have compiled a list of diseases that may be caused by psychological problems.

However, in this case we are talking about frequent diseases that arise literally out of the blue, without good reason.

If your child regularly suffers from the following diseases, you should pay attention to deeper causes:

1. Allergy- it can be caused by irritation that the child experiences, but cannot express or get away from the source of his problem.

2. Anemia- it affects children who are unsure of themselves and their own strengths, experiencing a lack of positive emotions.

3. ARVI- Frequent colds may be a consequence of the child feeling guilty for not living up to the parents’ expectations.

4. Conjunctivitis- the child literally does not want to see what surrounds him.

5. Adenoiditis- speaks of a feeling of uselessness.

6. Tonsillitis- appears in children who cannot express themselves or express their opinions.

Of course, all these diseases need to be treated under the supervision of an appropriate doctor, and not attribute everything solely to psychosomatics, seeking support only from a psychologist.

Childhood psychosomatics manifests itself in a number of diseases that recur in the child with enviable regularity. An isolated case is not an indicator, but if the baby gets sick very often, this is a reason to analyze the family relationships and behavior of your child.

Children's psychosomatics- this is one of the ways a child reacts to what does not suit him in the world around him.

However, all diseases cannot be explained by the dependence of the mental state on the physical health of the body. Most often, children under three years of age respond to family problems by “going ill.” During this period, they are very closely connected with their mother and are sensitive to changes in her condition.

Also, not all children “get sick” in response to difficulties in the family. Stress-resistant kids may not react to frequent conflicts, but a sensitive child is acutely worried about even the most minor changes in any family.

To distinguish an ordinary illness from a psychosomatic one, pay attention to three factors: the frequency of recurrences of the illness, too rapid recovery or vice versa, and the age of the child.

You may be wondering: how to work with the flaws in your appearance? Watch the video.

We readily admit to ourselves that “all diseases are caused by nerves,” but if a child begins to get sick, we begin to vehemently deny this pattern. If only because then mom and dad will have to be recognized as the main culprits of childhood illnesses.

Snowball

In fact, the fears of parents who are secretly worried about their “reputation” are not so far from the truth. Psychosomatic diseases are provoked by psychogenic factors. In fact, nothing more than a stereotypical bodily reaction to stress. For example, after a major quarrel between parents, the baby may not sleep well all night. Or a student may have a stomach ache before a test. When it comes to children, only we, parents, can help a child cope with a traumatic situation, negative emotions or internal experiences. If we don't do this the moment a bodily symptom first appears, it can become ingrained. Then it will begin to manifest itself in all similar circumstances, becoming stronger each time, and then from temporary it will turn into permanent. This, ultimately, can lead to the formation of a “full-fledged”, specific and real disease, which doctors can already clearly diagnose. Hence an important conclusion: psychosomatic disorders are never a whim or a sham. A child (or an adult) is always sick and truly suffers, even if the illness is not caused by an infection, but by a psychological factor.

Palette of symptoms

Today it is believed that about 60–80% of all diseases are psychogenic in nature. But this is a very modest estimate. After all, the list of “common” diseases is actually too short. Illnesses that do not have a psychological basis include organ damage as a result of injury, infectious diseases (including bronchial asthma of an infectious nature), developmental defects, eating disorders caused by improper eating habits (for example, gastritis against the background of a family tradition of eating acute , fatty and fried foods), obesity associated with objective overfeeding of the child, and not with psychological “eating” of stress. All other diseases are included in the group of psychosomatic illnesses.

However, these psychogenic diseases do not begin immediately, but with mild bodily symptoms, which are called psychosomatic reactions. The most common of them include dyspepsia (nausea, loss of appetite, flatulence, diarrhea), skin rashes (similar to urticaria), and headaches of various locations. At the level of the nervous system, psychosomatics can manifest as neurotic symptoms. This group includes sleep disorders (difficulty falling asleep, restless sleep with painful dreams, frequent awakenings), vegetative-vascular dystonia, facial and respiratory tics, tearfulness, fearfulness, fears (of the dark, loneliness, fairy-tale characters), bad habits (rocking, thumb sucking and others).

Both psychosomatic reactions and neurotic symptoms are not yet a disease. These transient disturbances are not always fixed and lead to permanent changes in the organs. It happens that the child’s mental state normalizes and the symptoms go away. Rather, all this can be described as symptoms of pre-disease. However, in this borderline state, the risk of permanent changes and the consolidation of a certain way of responding to stress, anxiety, negative emotions and experiences is very high. Fortunately, if you notice the child’s pathological reactions and their dependence on certain factors in time, then at the pre-illness stage they can be easily dealt with.

What to do?

It is easiest for parents to recognize psychosomatic manifestations in a child. There is no need to be afraid of these symptoms. It is much more important to realize that this is often a signal that something is going wrong and the old ways of solving the problem have stopped working. And a sign to parents that the time has come for them to change, too, and for their own good.

Children face fears, negative emotions and anxiety from a very early age, but not every child develops psychosomatic disorders. Whether they appear or not depends on many factors. Among other things, the child’s individual ability to overcome difficulties is also important, because there are children who adapt perfectly even to frequent family scandals and harsh teachers. But there are other reasons, and almost all of them are somehow related to parents.

Violent shocks There are situations when the risk of psychosomatic reactions is extremely high. For example, divorce, the birth of a brother or sister, moving, death of a loved one, separation from a beloved nanny, starting kindergarten, etc. This does not mean that the disease will certainly develop, but if you know that you have a sensitive child, pay attention pay attention to how he reacts to an exciting situation.
Attitude of mother to child: overprotection. If a child’s mother is overprotective, she literally “smothers him with her care” and it becomes “difficult for him to breathe.” This is how diseases of the respiratory system arise: frequent and prolonged bronchitis and bronchial asthma.

two extremes

Some families do not like to share personal experiences, while in others, on the contrary, it is customary to worry a lot about everything. In the first case, the child is often anxious because he cannot cope with his problems on his own. And he does not develop a sense of the basic security of this world, which can only be obtained in reliable close relationships. In the second case, the child learns from his family to be very worried about everything. After all, he constantly observes how any, even minor, change in plans or family routine literally unsettles the mother (or grandmother), disrupts the normal course of life and causes serious concerns. Both scenarios are fraught with the development of neurological symptoms.

Bad practice

When parents do not give the child the opportunity to openly express their negative emotions, they accumulate and then break out in the form of bodily illness. In our culture, it is customary to shame for the manifestation of healthy aggression in moments of obvious violation of personal boundaries. “They took away a toy and you whine because of it? You're just greedy and a crybaby! What a shame! Calm down immediately!” You shouldn’t be surprised later that the child doesn’t know how to defend his opinion and grows up shy and unsure of himself. Remarks like: “Go to your room!” also lead to the same result. When you calm down, you’ll come out!” If parents accept and love a child only in those moments when he behaves ideally, and if he feels bad, sad, hurt, he is sent out of sight, in fact, the closest people do not accept him for who he is, with all his emotions and experiences, joyful and not so joyful. Yes, the older children get, the better they become at restraining themselves. But it is impossible to turn off emotions with a click. We may not pronounce them or ignore them, but they will still remain inside, and at some point they will simply take it out and take it out on the most vulnerable organ. For example, resentment and anger get stuck in the throat, which is where tonsillitis or tonsillitis comes from.

In the pharmacy you hear every now and then: “It’s just a waste of money on medications, every month the child gets sick, he just went to kindergarten, and is already sick again!” And this is one way of looking at the problem. Quite real: a healthy child encounters viruses in a children’s group, the body cannot overcome them and falls ill. Although... Not every child gets sick. Maybe the baby is simply subconsciously ready to get sick in order to stay at home with his mother? Why do our children get sick? The portal NNmama.ru asked Ilona Fomin, a gestalt therapist, a specialist in the field of family problems and psychosomatic disorders at the Reflection Center for Psychological Assistance.

Psychosomatics in children: rejected girl

Ilona Fomina suggests using a simple example to consider how childhood fears and illnesses are born. You will be surprised, but they have one “parent”. It’s just that the child himself, at some point, chooses which reaction he will make the key to the environment around him: fear or illness.

Example No. 1: There is a child growing in the family - a five-year-old girl. Mom and dad give birth to a baby. It is clear that the mother is emotionally overloaded, and the older child lacks attention and care. And so the girl comes up to her mother and says: “Play with me!” And my mother replies: “Leave me alone, I don’t have time.” Can’t you see I’m talking to my friend on the phone?!”

The daughter continues to hover around, looking into the eyes, tugging at the skirt, but the mother does not pay attention. The girl again: “Shall we go play?” And mom gets irritated and says: “Go play yourself!”

And this five-year-old girl, in a state of anger, shouts to her mother: “I hate you!” Well, or any other words that are painful for any mother. The woman, confused and frightened, thinks: “My God, what a monster I’m raising!” And he says to his daughter: “Shut your mouth now so that I don’t hear such words again!” Then dad comes out of the room and adds fuel to the fire: “You are punished for such words!”

As a result, our girl finds herself in a very difficult situation. She doesn’t know how to express anger, because a five-year-old child doesn’t yet know how to say: “Mom, I understand that you are busy, but I’m angry that you are rejecting me.” The child cannot see the world holistically. By the way, many adults tend to see either black or white.

She finds herself in a situation where there is not a single kind person nearby, for example, a grandmother with pies or her dad, who will understand her anger and teach her to express it. She can't figure out what to do with the pain and loneliness.

Fear or illness?

1. The first scenario: fear is formed. The girl understands that she cannot be angry, that she is forbidden to do so, and if she shows anger, she will be punished and additionally rejected by her mother. She projects this “evil part” onto the dog (or cartoon character, monster, darkness, heights) and builds a rigid boundary between herself and fear so as not to communicate with her rejected part. And he says: “Oh, this dog is angry, hateful, biting!” This is how fear is formed.

And she begins to be afraid of this dog, but in fact she is afraid of the anger inside herself, afraid to express this anger and need in a relationship. On the one hand, she will see these dogs everywhere in order to finally end the situation. On the other hand, build very strict boundaries and say: “I won’t go to the dog, she’s bad!” In fact, she doesn’t want to face her anger and this is the best thing the child has come up with to stay in a relationship with his parents.

2.The second scenario: a disease forms. The child at this point takes and projects this energy onto his body, pinching his chest. Why? That moment when mom screams, “Shut your mouth now!” And dad runs out... She wants to burst into tears from despair. She is so rejected in her need that she has a lot of tears inside.

She has the energy of sobbing, pain, screaming. But at the same time mom and dad stopped her. And just imagine, in your chest there is a desire to scream, to fully express your pain: “You are not paying attention to me, look at me!” And start crying. On the other hand, there is a stop. Here is a ready-made asmatic attack.

Ilona Fomina clarifies that such a restrained bodily state must be consolidated. A one-time situation, of course, will not lead to asthma. But, if the same thing is repeated over and over again, and there is a ban on expressing anger in the family, then such a fate can quite likely await the child.

The main thing is that any symptom is an invitation to a relationship. Illness is a creative adaptation precisely to stay and maintain peace in the family.

What's the trap here? Our body is designed in such a way that each part of the body is responsible for different feelings. The child develops this symptom in order to preserve his dear relationships. Our girl developed asthma precisely because she loves her mom and dad, and wants to stay with them, and is simply dependent on them. Therefore, it forms a symptom that satisfies and stops both needs, both feelings: anger and joy. And at the core lies the pain of loneliness and unrequited experiences.

Symptoms and consequences

My hands hurt. If we have a clamp in our hands, they hurt and move poorly, we can neither hug the person nor push them away. Psychotherapists work not only on “I can’t hug you,” but also on “I can’t push you away.”
Clamping in the jaw with neuroses. We cannot smile, kiss, or express anger.
Ears hurt. Otitis in the ear and the child has difficulty hearing. This: “I don’t want to hear you!” And at the same time, “Come closer to me and tell me in my ear!”

In any symptom, no matter what part of the body you take, there are two different ambivalent experiences: love and anger, joy and sadness. And it always satisfies two needs. He is needed to save the relationship.

Case in point: How do women get migraines?

Example #2: You live with your husband, you love him, you want him to give you flowers, but he doesn’t. And you are offended by him that he does not do what you need. He comes up to you and says: “Let's go to bed. And you: “Oh, I can’t, I have a headache.” You can’t tell him directly that I don’t want you, because I’m offended by you.”

Why? Because you don’t want scandal, conflict. You have other feelings besides resentment: your husband is dear to you, you love him and want to live with him. So you took it and organized a spasm in your head. And you satisfied both needs: you stayed in bed with him, and he was rejected.

This is the subtlety of the work, to understand what different feelings are hidden behind the symptom.

It turns out that parents are running around to get the pill. They drag the child to doctors, stuff him with pills, and meanwhile psychosomatics develops. One symptom turns into another.

1. Think about what is missing in the relationship between you and your child so that he can safely express different feelings. This is working on trust, on support, on security.

2. If you yell at a child, stop, come over and apologize. Mom, first of all, must be able to express her feelings and realize what is happening to her: “I love you, but I’m tired and I’ll play with you next time. Fine?" And she must teach this to the child.

A series of sick days, a constant runny nose, chronic colds, bronchitis, tonsillitis, otitis... Concerned mothers drag their children to paid doctors, immunologists, allergists and other specialists in the hope that the child’s immunity will become stronger, he will stop getting sick and will calmly attend kindergarten or school. But the medications prescribed in huge quantities do not solve the problem, or they do, but only for a while.

Pediatricians say that the child will outgrow his sores with age. However, in reality, some of the diseases enter the chronic stage: myopia acquired at the age of 3-4 years progresses, tonsillitis leads to problems with the joints, and so on.

According to statistics, over the past 10 years, the incidence of diseases in children under 14 years of age in our country has increased by 50%. Just think about these numbers! If earlier, 20-30 years ago, there could be one child in a class with some kind of chronic disease, today the medical records of schoolchildren are replete with a variety of diagnoses of varying degrees of complexity.

Vision, diseases of the digestive system, curvature of the spine, valgus, chronic adenoiditis, tonsillitis, bronchitis, asthma, allergies - the list goes on and on. Most people come with these diagnoses from kindergarten.