The girl says she doesn't want to get married. The girl doesn't want to get married. Not a woman's fate of one beautiful fairy
Men often mistake the anti-matrimonial monologues of such girls for a kind of coquetry, but they realize that they were mistaken in their conclusions when, in response to a proposal to get married, they receive from the girls a reinforced concrete “no” and a desire to remain in the position of “we’re just dating.”
I only once met a guy whose hand and heart were rejected. Moreover, my close friend was the refusenik, so I knew for sure: the reason was not that she loved him at all or didn’t love him enough. I still loved her, I just didn’t want to get married. Not specifically for him, but in general. And I spent a considerable amount of effort, time and tequila to convey this idea to the young man, who, of course, was offended and frustrated by such non-standard female behavior. Then I formulated the reasons why being in love is important! - a woman may not want to be ringed with her chosen one. Please take a look here:
1. She doesn't want to change her life.
As a rule, this affects experienced bachelors whose lives, as they say, have been successful. The girl is so used to existing on her own and for herself that the mere thought of restructuring everything to fit a “married” format causes her to have an attack of severe tachycardia. And in this case we are talking specifically about the selfish reluctance to transform yours(household/budget/social circle/plans for the future) in general.
2. She's not ready to give up her freedom.
Which, as a rule, rhymes with sexual freedom. The prospect of mating with one and only partner until, poetically speaking, the final credits rolls is scary not only for men, but also for women. And the point is not that, being in the status of “gelfriend”, a woman is planning or is already jumping around in other people’s beds. No, the whole point is in the illusion that she can hypothetically afford to sleep with someone else besides you, without violating the sacred vows. And the easiest way not to break promises is not to make them.
3. She doesn't want children.
On the one hand, the registry office stamp is not involved in the fertilization of the egg. On the other hand, a marriage without children looks somehow suspicious. And the last thing that convinced childfree people want is to come under pressure from shameless Gelendzhik relatives, who, at every convenient and not so convenient opportunity, will be curious, how is it possible - you are married, but still haven’t produced children?
4. She can't imagine living together with you.
To love - loves, but understands: you are so different that living together (and where would you be without it) is not possible. And even if you dare to try, it will probably end in internecine war, mutual hostility, the collapse of all dreams and divorce. This is the best case scenario. At worst - an article for murder in a state of passion. And if so, there is no point in trying.
5. She's afraid the relationship will go bad.
How, let’s say, her previous Roman_Century went rotten, she just had to ring herself. It is possible - and for sure - that the relationship fell apart not at all because of the very fact of being married, but now it is difficult for her to get rid of the superstitious fear that visiting the registry office in some mystical way turns a couple in love into dissatisfied, quarrelsome, having sex once every six months and heavily hating each other people's friend. This is not the future she wants for the two of you.
6. She thinks she's not cut out for a family.
It doesn’t matter whether the girl plans to build a career and work 18 hours a day, go with Greenpeace to the Commander Islands to rescue fur seals, go to a high-security convent, or go wander around India. It is important that her plans, way of life and thoughts do not fit in any way with housekeeping, making dumplings and family feasts on calendar holidays. It’s just “about something else.”
7. She's not sure you want this.
It happens that a man proposes not thoughtfully, thoroughly and with all the paraphernalia - falling on his knees, presenting a ring and receiving the blessing of his parents (or at least just with a serious expression on his face), but casually / as a joke / under the pressure of circumstances / on emotions/after ten B-52s or following the example of a best friend. And then the girl begins to be tormented by doubts: have you gotten carried away, and do you want to take back your words? And if nothing convinces the bride of the seriousness of your matrimonial aspirations, then, most likely, she will prefer to refuse the proposal - for your own good.
Guys, in light of all of the above, I have a question. It would be interesting to know how universal this list is and Are there any specific, purely male reasons not to marry your beloved (!) girl?
Many people make a choice in favor of a career and ongoing education, which does not allow them to fit a husband and children into their schedule. A woman achieves heights on her own, earns money for a good car and an apartment in the city center. A career woman cannot afford maternity leave and cooking a three-course lunch; she has no time for sentimental feelings; personal success and pleasure from the work done are more important to her. Such a woman may well be happy, having what she achieved on her own. Moreover, would she be willing to share her hard-earned property with a man in the event of a failed marriage?
Too independent
If previously the husband was the protector and breadwinner, now almost any woman is able to provide this for herself. It’s easier for a self-sufficient woman to build her own life and not adapt to other people’s needs. In the end, it turns out that driving a nail and fixing the socket is not so difficult. And if you want a child, then raising him alone is also quite possible. And many men have now become softer and lazy, which may be the fault of modern women.
Doesn't want everyday life
It was also customary among our parents to tie the knot. This did not always bring happiness. Girls look at how their parents live and do not want to repeat the failed scenarios of family life, where the father watches TV after work and the mother stands at the stove. Such a girl may well be satisfied with a weekend relationship with romantic dates, joint trips to the cinema and theater. In this case, it is not at all necessary to live together; you can endlessly extend the candy-bouquet period to avoid “everyday life”.
One man is not enough
The sexual revolution made it possible not to prolong relationships longer than one evening without feeling remorse. Some women, having felt the taste of freedom, realized that living with one man all their lives was not for them.
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Marriage in our time is not the only way to achieve something in life, but only a pleasant addition to everyday life. Therefore, women strive to find a partner with whom it will be convenient to share housing, bed and leisure time. If such a man does not come across, then the woman continues to live for her pleasure: travels, studies, develops and works. There is no reason to deny yourself the pleasure of living the way you want.
Doesn't want children
The childfree movement is gaining popularity. And since marriage in the traditional sense implies the birth and raising of children, it is much easier not to enter into it. In the end, you can just live together without a stamp in your passport.
Wants to live for himself
Many people are familiar with the situation when a mother or father tries to make their dreams come true with the help of their children. Often parents overload their daughters with studies, clubs and sections so much that by the time they graduate from university they are exhausted. And this is natural. When you constantly prove to everyone that you are worth something, at a certain moment the thought creeps in: “When will I live for myself?” Often, family life seems to such girls as another obstacle, where they will again have to live someone else’s life.
This happens quite often: a guy and a girl have been dating for a long time, but they don’t intend to start a family, and they don’t plan to have children. And if many people think that mainly only men are afraid of marriage, then this is a big misconception. Nowadays, a situation often occurs when a girl does not want to get married.
Despite the fact that a girl may have a lot in common with a young man, have the same interests and hobbies, nevertheless the proposal: “Will you marry me?” may frighten her too much and take her aback.
Not every successful woman is ready to be a wife and mother. Many of them see other prospects ahead of them, which are more related to career and business. Perhaps they are quite happy with their previous lifestyle.
And if a young couple has been living together for a long time, as is the case now, then why get married, because everything is fine without a stamp in the passport. Some girls are afraid of domestic slavery and do not want to burden themselves with children.
But a family develops only when strong relationships are created and there are children. And if a woman does not want to get married, much less have children, then people will definitely judge her, call her an inferior woman, or even treat her with sympathy. Whether their judgment is correct remains to be seen.
Whether a person wants to start a family or not is everyone’s business, which does not depend at all on his gender, age or financial situation. It’s just that the girl who wants to get married sees herself perfectly as a wife and future mother.
But this desire may not exist. Which means, for some reason, there are girls who don’t need this at all. They are not ready for the voluntary responsibility that starting a family implies.
The desire to get married is not always somehow connected with the role of wife and mother. It’s just that age has its limits. And when a woman is already over 30, it’s not only time for her to get married, but also to have children.
During this period, the woman understands that she does not want to remain an old maid and a “black sheep,” and she is ready to marry anyone who will marry her. Especially if her parents dream of grandchildren and constantly remind her of her age.
Why are many women so afraid of marriage and perceive family life as slavery?
Perhaps this is due to the experience of the parents. Often, the example of parents is far from ideal, and a young girl already knows in advance that she does not want to get married. After all, she will have to work hard and take care of her husband and children, completely forgetting about herself. The role of a wife is seen by many as an unbearable burden. You should not think that the experience of parents is inherited by children.
Every woman can become happy in marriage, but only when she is ready to completely change her life for the sake of the man she loves. If you get married against your will only because the time has come and there are no good suitors left, then such a relationship is unlikely to be successful.
Most likely, sooner or later, this union will be overtaken by divorce. Both the guy and the girl must be equally serious about family relationships so that everything is fine in their family. Therefore, it is not at all surprising when a girl does not want to get married, she is already comfortable. After all, this is better than, for example, living under the same roof with an unloved person and deceiving him all his life.
However, everything has its time, circumstances change, new events occur. A girl’s opinion may change from a sharp protest against registering a marriage to a timid “maybe we should try to get married?”, especially if you don’t put pressure on her and give her the opportunity to make her own decision.
Video “Love, Komsomol and Spring”
If a woman is without a man, no matter what she says, she has good reasons for being lonely, that is, she does not want to be with a man.
Why doesn't a woman want to get married?
If a woman is without a man, no matter what she says, she has good reasons for being lonely, that is, she doesn't want to be with a man.
The word “self-sufficient” itself is translated as “everything is enough in oneself.” As a rule, this is an educated woman who has a job, an apartment, and a certain circle of friends. In general, she is happy with everything in her life.
Let's look at the carrot and stick model of motivation. In order for such a woman to want to leave her comfort zone, to want family life, marital relationships, it is necessary for a carrot or a stick to appear in her life.
How can a whip appear in the life of such a woman? Something must happen to make her feel uncomfortable in the state she is in.What could it be? Suppose all your friends suddenly got married at the same time. This is unlikely. Well, or one is the closest. Someone close to you moved, died, became lonely, bad, you want to get away from the “badness”, get married “from the lack”.
The second option is a carrot, when there is an attractive model of marriage. But the trouble is that single women don’t have such a model, that’s why they are lonely, because they don’t believe that marriage can be better than being alone. As a rule, these are women who have experience of destructive or cold relationships between parents.
One of my clients says that as a teenager she watched the series and when it ended with the wedding of the main characters, she cried bitterly. She cried because the good life of the heroes ended there, in her opinion. Therefore, is it any wonder that this woman is still one at forty years old?
In a milder version, such women live with a man, but categorically refuse to formalize the relationship. It seems to them that the seal of marriage will seal their happy life. Sometimes, “for the sake of the children,” they marry, but retain their maiden name as a symbol of independence and separation from their husband.
By the way, ring - a symbol of chaining to the husband, his family. Remember, in the myth of Psyche, Aphrodite ordered Psyche to be chained to a rock so that she would be betrothed to death. So the ring is one of the links in the chain.
Often women who prefer to remain single choose married men. This helps give a pseudo-reasonable explanation for your loneliness. And when a man decides to get a divorce, such a woman ends her relationship with him.
We are working to gradually dismantle all the bricks and stones of fear and resentment, that which prevents a woman from approaching married life. We gradually create a picture of a happy future, and when it really appears, the rest happens as if by itself.
You don’t have to think about how and where you can meet a man; this acquaintance happens naturally and, often in the most unexpected place. When a woman is ready to meet a man, life itself provides situations suitable for meeting. published
