How to live if everything in life is bad. What to do when it's really bad. Exit point

Good afternoon, dear readers. Today I would like to talk about life. About what to do when everything is bad and a bad streak has come. Such a depressed state can easily lead to neuroses, apathy and depression. It is imperative to get out of this situation so that your whole life does not turn into endless suffering.

Black line

We have all, one way or another, experienced moments of depression in our lives. When everything falls out of hand, in the morning you don’t want to get up and get out of bed. When all you think is that life is empty and nothing good will happen. Such thoughts appear for various reasons. Failures in the professional sphere or personal life. The loss of a loved one, the betrayal of a best friend. The situations are different, but the consequences are often similar.

We all sometimes ask ourselves how to get rid of cats that scratch at our souls. It is easy for a person to fall into a depressed state and very difficult to get out of it. Because sitting and doing nothing is much easier than trying to improve your life over and over again. Sometimes you give up and don’t want to live.

Such conditions have different stages, symptoms and other associated issues. A person can become aggressive at such moments and hate everyone around him, even his closest and dearest. Of course, your loved one wants to help, trying to pull you out of apathy. But this is precisely what begins to irritate me even more.

In a state of depression, it is very important to understand why it is happening. Only then will it be possible to take the right steps towards positive change. Simply leaving problems in the past is the worst option. Every moment in a person's life should be complete. Otherwise, the ghosts of the past will catch up with you sooner or later.

Who is the master of your life

Even if you don’t want to do anything and everything is bad, then this is only your decision and your choice. You must always remember that only you are responsible for your own life. And there is no need to create illusions that everything is bad because of someone. It may be very tough, but this is the only way you can correct everything that happens to you.

You shouldn’t blame the rude saleswoman who was rude to you in the morning and that because of her, you’ve been in a bad mood all day. It was you who chose to make this event the highlight of the day. After all, you could simply not notice and move on. It’s not your boss’s fault that your salary is low and you don’t have enough money to pay off your mortgage, pay off your car loan and buy food. It is you who have driven yourself into a financial hole.

Do you think that you have no support from anyone? Nonsense! Support should always come from yourself. One of my good friends is an artist. And periodically she falls into a state of depression. The muse has left, there is no inspiration, my personal life is not working out, my paintings are not selling. Her parents live several thousand kilometers away. No friends. But every time she pulls herself together and starts working again. Sets new goals for himself and moves forward.

You should remember once and for all that only you are responsible for your life. Until you learn to take responsibility for what is happening, you will be unhappy. Definitely because of someone. Understand that no one can influence your life. Not friends, not a loved one, not parents, not a boss, not a passerby on the street. Just because you are emotionally attached to these people does not mean that they control your life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living for yourself, not for someone else.

What to do

If nothing works out for you, maybe you are going in the wrong direction? I have never met a single person who was unsuccessful in everything. There must be at least one thing in which a person can succeed. It's an illusion that everything is bad. This doesn't happen. You are deliberately putting yourself in this state. This means you need it for something. So that they feel sorry for you, solve your problems, tell you how great you are or something else.

• First, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are an adult who can solve any problem. Self-pity is actually directed at others. Look how unhappy I am, take pity on me, approve of my actions.
• Secondly, stop expecting things from other people. You are in control of your life. You choose and make decisions. No one else can do this for you. Each person can simply interact with others, but nothing more. Stop blaming others for your unhappiness. This way you will definitely never solve the problem.
• Third, start doing something. Just sitting in one place and wailing every day will make you even more depressed. Get up and take action right now. Start with something small and not so heavy. Go to the mirror, smile at yourself and say: I will succeed, everything will be fine! And move on. Do not stop!

I hope you can overcome yourself and learn to be the boss in your own life. This is what helps you achieve success in any area of ​​life. When a person realizes that he does not depend on anyone, his whole life changes in an unimaginable and beautiful way. You should definitely try it! Check out my articles on the topic "

Probably every person at least once in his life asked what to do when everything is bad. Not getting along at work, problems with studies, no personal life, relatives don’t understand, friends betray... But you never know the reasons when a person can despair, give up and become depressed? If you find yourself in this situation, then you urgently need help. And first of all, you must accept it from yourself.

And we will help you do this. How to cope with a depressed state and regain the joy of life? What to do when everything is bad? I hope that the following simple tips will help you overcome problems and change your life for the better!

When everything is bad: we act

1. Don't hold back your emotions. What to do when you feel bad? When did you most recently experience deep emotional distress? Give free rein to your feelings. Everyone does it differently. Some people cry on the shoulder of a close friend, while others throw a huge party to distract themselves. Do what you want (within the law, of course), and you will see that it will become easier.
2. Break the problem down into pieces. Try to think about it objectively and impartially. Identify the cause and think through possible ways to solve the problem, which can be done now. When everything is bad, you want to withdraw into yourself and grieve, but this is not a way out of the situation. To remain in this state for quite a long time means to register two new tenants in your house: depression and hopelessness. Strong people act while weak people sit and feel sorry for themselves. Be strong!
3. Despite the fact that the current situation brings nothing but grief, as it seems at first glance, still think about what it has taught you. It is problems that build character and make a person more experienced and wiser. Think about what exactly your problem taught you, what experience you learned from it.
4. In everything bad, if you try, you can see something good. Analyze your problem and you will find positive aspects that will definitely please you! For example, you dated a young man for a long time, were incredibly happy, and then he suddenly and unexpectedly left you. Yes, it is very painful, but along with the loss you acquired one important advantage - freedom. You are free in your actions, you no longer need to think about what he would say, how he would react, what he would do. From now on, you are your own boss, you have more free time for yourself, and no one has canceled flirting. And flirting, as you know, adorns any woman! That's it! And then, you see, a new love will appear and will be much better than the old one.
5. It is important to tell not only what to do when everything is bad, but also what not to do. Don't become isolated. Don't isolate yourself, don't focus on the problem. At such moments you need to be able to distract yourself. After all, life is so interesting, and you sit and rack your brains over something extremely unpleasant. Meet old friends, spend an evening with the whole family somewhere outdoors, go to a nightclub and have fun with a friend, play sports, start learning a foreign language or master a new program on the computer, find a new and interesting hobby, get yourself a dog and etc. There are a lot of options! Do what you like and brings you joy. The world will sparkle with new colors, and you will discover such bright facets of yourself that you didn’t even suspect about!
6. Don't be afraid to ask for help. The support of loved ones, friends and loved ones is very important for every person. After all, these people will always help you get out of a difficult situation, support you and will not leave you to the mercy of fate. If you are lonely, then look for friends. And you will definitely find them. In the meantime, seek the help of a good psychologist. He will help you get back on your feet.
7. And finally, don't be afraid of anything! Perhaps a lot of effort is needed to solve your problem. Does this scare you or are you just lazy. Fight this and don’t be afraid to carry out your plans, even if it is very difficult, and then fortune will definitely smile on you! It is useful to remember one important piece of wisdom. King Solomon did not live such a sweet life as many people think. And he had a ring that helped him survive all the hardships. The secret of the ring is in the inscription on it. And it represents one simple phrase: “This too shall pass.” Remember this in moments of despair. Grief cannot last forever, and happiness will definitely smile on you, just help it a little!

We can't be optimistic all the time. No matter how brave you are or try to keep yourself positive, there comes a time in life when you just want to lie there, wrapped in a blanket. Don't see or hear anyone.

It happens that troubles happen at the same time. They come so unexpectedly that they take us by surprise. As they say: “trouble does not come alone,” “where it is thin, it breaks.” How to survive this period and maintain good spirits?

1. Calm down. Of course, this advice is banal and can cause a new wave of despair. But while you are on the verge of hysteria, you will not be able to think constructively. Everything bad that could happen has already happened. Now all that remains is to sort out all the problems that have arisen and slowly begin to solve them.
2. Stop being angry and considering your life hopeless. If you think like that, you will attract new troubles for yourself. Nobody says that you need to artificially enjoy life, but you also can’t project all the bad things. As F. Nietzsche said: “If you look long into the abyss, the abyss will look at you.”
3. Don't take your anger out on your family and friends. They are not to blame for anything and also suffer because you feel bad. It’s better to talk to them, discuss the current situation, listen to practical advice. After all, you have no one dearer than them.
4. Thank fate for what you have. Are you not in a wheelchair? Don't live in an orphanage? Do you have your own home and bread on the table? Yes, you are lucky! Think about those who have none of this, who have nowhere to sleep, who have nothing to eat. To them your problems would seem worthless.
5. Read interesting books on the topic of overcoming life's adversities. Watch movies with happy endings. Rethink your situation. After a while it won't seem so hopeless anymore.
6. Write all your dreams on a large piece of paper. Make a plan for making your dreams come true and follow it.
7. Have a day of rest and idleness. You deserve it. Lay in bed all day, sleep, read, watch TV - in a word, take a break from everyone. Well, if passive relaxation is not for you, then take a walk in unfamiliar places. The forest is especially good in this regard. Fresh air, birds singing, trees rustling - silence, peace. This peace will settle in your soul after such a walk.
8. Play sports. Sport frees you from negative thoughts. Throw out all the negative emotions during training. Beat the bag, after all.
9. Allow yourself some alcohol. Not a very good or useful way. But sometimes it is quite effective. But often using it is detrimental to health, both physical and mental.
10. Let go of the situation. Sometimes some problems go away on their own, without our participation. You just need to stop beating yourself up and the solution will not keep you waiting.
11. Read V. Zeland “Transurfing of Reality”. His famous work will change your mind about the world order and even help in solving problems.
12. Stop watching news and action movies. They lead to even greater despondency. Crisis in the country, poverty, plane crashes, devastation, war. Do you need it? And films where blood flows like a river are also not needed to watch now. Better watch some light, life-affirming comedy.

1. Remember all the moments that prevent you from living. Write them down in your notebook point by point. Be responsible in completing this task. Write down all problems, even those that date back to childhood.
2. Draw a cause-and-effect relationship between problems. Often one problem leads to several others. And its solution automatically solves the rest of the troubles, at least partially.
3. Think about how you can make things better. What needs to be done to alleviate your situation or not to make it worse.
4. Write down ways to solve the problem and start implementing them. Gradually, without rushing, you will achieve your goal.

This plan is necessary for people who believe that their situation is hopeless. But as practice shows, this is often not the case. And the problem, written down on paper and analyzed, no longer seems so scary and unresolved.

And in general, you just need to look positively at even the most negative events and incidents. Your life is subject to your actions and actions.

Go to bed and wake up only with a smile and a great mood, take many troubles less to heart, and perhaps avoid them altogether. Minimum stress, maximum positive emotions.

Spend more time with children, who with their spontaneity will show you the way to something new and interesting, their emotions are not fake, they only know how to live sincerely, which is what we wish for you too.

Take care of yourself and be healthy and happy!

Even the most positive and optimistic individuals sometimes feel like they give up: things don’t work out anywhere - on the personal front, at work, with friends... There is only despair and nothing more. What to do if everything in life is bad? Just be, and the rest will work out.

A few thoughts to support you

If everything is bad in your life, “what to do” should become the second question. But first you need to change your thinking a little and support yourself.

Pain is only part of growth

If the door has closed in front of you, it’s time to move forward. Many people do not start moving until circumstances force them to. Here they are! Move!

By the way, about pain. In some Chinese martial arts schools, children deliberately tear ligaments during stretching. The pain is intense, but then it’s easier to do the splits.

This too shall pass

There is no need to quote the great king. Just don't think that the night will never end in the morning and the wound will always hurt. This doesn't happen!

Live in the moment when everything is great with you, and if you have no idea what to do if everything is bad in life.

Complaining and worrying won't change anything

No comments. Do not deprive yourself of the strength that can be used to resolve your problems.

All scars are only a symbol of strength

They show that you have survived an ordeal. The current wound will definitely heal with a scar. Don't let them hold you hostage and let them live in fear. This is a sign of triumph.

Any struggle you have is a step forward. If you have to fight what is bad, you move to where it will be better.

Bad people are not your problem

If they are trying to destroy or defeat you, smile! This way you will save yourself, which is important if you are surrounded by not the most decent or evil people. Be yourself even if someone says bad things about you. Don't let anyone break you and change you. The environment changes (and you are not always the one who attracts it), but you are with you forever.

Something needs to be let go

You need this in order to continue your journey. Even if everything goes wrong, move on and don’t be afraid to get angry, love again, or make mistakes. In any case, the Universe is right and for some reason this “everything is bad” was given to you: everything is smooth and calm only in the coffin, but you won’t feel it anymore.

What to do?

Thinking correctly is the beginning of the journey. But what to do if everything is bad?

Sorting out problems

You can even make a list of everything that is bad: the name of the problem, the essence, how to solve it and whether it can be solved at all. Some things can be left without a decision, since they only need to be accepted. And some problems have two or more solutions. Something will take years to resolve, but if your favorite coat is torn, you can deal with it in a few days.

When everything is really bad and your hands have fallen, it is difficult to connect logic, but it is better to do just that, rather than complain and worry.

Play some sports

The formula for success here is simple. Firstly, exercise will help cope with stress, and secondly, problems can resolve while you work on yourself. And you will enter your new life with a beautiful and healthy body.

Don't go all out

Some people think that when everything is bad, you need to have drinking parties and partying. This will not make your life better: troubles will not go away, but comrades will come to them: poor health, hangover and lack of money. For girls, damaged skin and extra pounds will be a special bonus. But once in a while, taking something extra with a true friend can even be useful...

Don't hide your negative emotions

Of course, there is no point in constantly complaining and grief cannot always be helped with tears, but you need to let off steam and negativity, no matter how you were raised... Yes, you can roar, scream and break down (even at those closest to you), break cups. And not just once, but as many times as required in your situation. You can also start a whole notebook to drain negative emotions. The main thing is that this does not enter the system, like the mentioned alcohol. But cherishing your anger, resentment and other dirty tricks is prohibited!

Don't be afraid to cry out for help

And it’s not just about helping “our own” or influential people. If necessary, visit a priest, a psychotherapist, a spiritual mentor... Someone who can cure you... In general, do not be afraid of communication during difficult periods. You understand that you can share your troubles with someone. But if you close yourself in, you will also close your grief inside.

Think (and say) only good things

You can dream about good things and then they can also materialize. You shouldn’t live with the idea that the status quo (that is, everything that happens today) is forever and you will die alone, unloved and in a torn coat. No matter how you remember the joke about a man who only thought badly about everything, and a guardian angel sat behind him and wrote it all down: the boss is a brute, the wife is a fool, etc. Thoughts, make the right orders and requests to higher powers. The same goes for conversations. Do not support negative topics that colleagues, friends or neighbors love to discuss - you have your own opinion.

Love

This feeling always lifts you up. Do good deeds in the name of the people you love and life will change for the better. If you don’t have half, you still have someone to love: friends or relatives, an animal. And finally, even the most difficult situations in life should not give you a reason to stop loving yourself. Just love yourself even if your husband left, your coat was torn and your boss sawed you off. The universe will change its attitude towards you only if you love yourself.

Question to a psychologist

Hello. I am 18 years old and I really need your help. I feel very bad...(This terrible feeling hasn’t gone away for a month now.. I’m not interested in life.. I’ve lost interest in everything.. And no one needs me..(I’m a first-year student at the university, I’m doing well, from my last strength..All my life my parents pinned their hopes on me, I was always afraid to disappoint them..
Nothing brings me joy.. every day I wake up with one thought: God, it’s already morning, this monotony again.. how tired of everything..
I stopped sleeping normally.. in the sense that I don’t feel like sleeping at all.. I can lie until the morning and only because I lie in silence for a long time can I fall asleep.. Thoughts about death constantly creep into my head.. I’m not interested in living. .Maybe I’m going crazy?((Lord, I would never have thought that this could happen to me..((Constant thoughts that I’m already 18, and I haven’t lived a normal, fun life at all..What’s ahead? It seems to me that nothing good awaits me there at all... Study, work... an uninteresting gray life...
And just before the New Year, my boyfriend left me.. I became very nervous.. Maybe studying and constant lack of sleep are to blame for this.. I don’t know..
We often quarreled.. I was to blame for every quarrel.. How much I regret it now.. But now he doesn’t even want to know me.. And he doesn’t leave my head for a minute.. and the feeling of guilt doesn’t leave me. me.. I destroyed our relationship with my own hands.. I have already asked for forgiveness for everything many times, but he doesn’t want to listen to me.. Yes, and he has changed.. He started drinking, smoking.. He is cold towards me.. But I don’t I can do without him..
I'm nothing.. Just a pathetic loser... (((Please help.. What can I do to make me feel better? What can I do to make life bring joy?...((

Answers from psychologists

Hello, Ekaterina! "...What can I do to make me feel better? What can I do to make life bring joy?." Do you really want this? If "Yes", then go ahead! 1. STOP blaming yourself, scolding yourself, calling yourself names - being guilty!!! 2. If you want to be shown respect, sympathy, etc., START TREATING YOURSELF THIS WAY!!! 3. FORGIVE YOURSELF that it’s like this for you - and not otherwise! AND ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOU ARE - UNJUDGED AND UNCONDITIONALLY (WITHOUT CONDITIONS)! Just like the situation you are in. “Accept the present before you imagine your future!” 4. Realize your feelings in connection with what happened to your boyfriend - and live them! The main thing is not to ignore your sensory layer, but learn to be aware of your emotions and feelings and work through it, and better yet, in person with a psychologist! 5. Not living your own needs, but living in accordance with the expectations of others (in particular your parents), you therefore do not live your own life, and therefore the loss of strength, lack of interest in what is happening, lack of desire to live like that, etc. . Start by changing your attitude towards yourself, at least through small things, that is; pay attention to what you eat: is it what you like? Is it your desire to eat this? Start pampering yourself with what you wanted before, but didn’t even allow you to think or talk about it!!! And gradually, step by step, this will spread to your relationships and your life! You cannot change others, but you can change your behavior and attitude, then others will be forced to change! And read at the end of my article “Awareness in Gestalt Therapy” 9 commandments leading to an authentic (genuine) existence, published here on the website: Psychologists of Almaty - My personal page - My articles -. All the best. Sincerely, Lyudmila K.

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Ekatirina, judging by your post, all the depression is due to the fact that you broke up with your boyfriend. And the world is not nice now and life is not a joy. Many people find it difficult to cope with the end of a relationship. But a person develops and receives the necessary information not only from his victories but also from his failures. The guy left not because everything was your fault. In a couple, only both are responsible for everything that happens between them. One cannot be fluffy and white, and the other a monster. Everything is very interconnected. And somewhere subconsciously you felt that he was not a match for you and built the relationship in such a way as to break it. Praise your wise unconscious. And learn to experience joy in a new way.

First with the little things. Treat yourself. Go to the salon, get a new fashionable hairstyle, buy yourself a long-desired item, write down 5 compliments for yourself every day in a beautiful notebook. Pull yourself out of this zero state. Your whole life is you.

Good luck to you!

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Minets Tatyana Vladimirovna