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Men never cry! Why should you give up this habit? Male tearfulness: what causes this condition and how to correct it

Why do men cry? There are several reasons for bitter male tears, or one stingy tear. If a man sheds this tear, then he does not become a “rag,” he simply can no longer contain all the bitterness of what is happening. And only very strong man can show his emotions. And the weak will be afraid of universal ridicule.

The worst tragedy that can make a man cry is the death of someone close to him: relatives, friends. Although even in this difficult period of life, he simply must remain adamant to life. Take all burial problems upon yourself. This is a very difficult procedure and requires special willpower. But, at the moment when all the preparations for the funeral are over, the man relaxes here and either an animal roar, one of hopelessness, or just that same stingy male tear will roll down his cheek.

Many men cannot hold back their tears when breaking up with the woman they love. They have no strength left to fight to return their beloved. Everything that happens makes them feel blue, and they can, just like women, sob into their pillow. But it will only be one moment of these tears that no one will see.

During church services, men also shed tears. But this already happens spontaneously; it is God who enters their soul and reveals all the hidden corners of the soul. At this moment, the man becomes himself, and does not show his strength and masculinity. He becomes just a child, pure and open.

Women think that only they can zealously worry about their children’s illness. That only they can empathize with others. A man, in a woman’s understanding, is most often a soulless blockhead who cannot show his emotions under any circumstances.

If only women knew. What is going on in a man’s heart at this moment. How painful and lonely he feels at these moments. He cannot cry like a woman, he cannot call his friends and cry into their vest. Because he is made from a different “test”, more drawn out than a woman.

Have you ever wondered why men are more likely to die at an older age from heart attacks? Precisely because they cannot show their emotions, their tears. All this remains inside them, and gradually breaks their heart into small pieces. Corrodes the soul. It burns all the insides of the body with fire. But they cannot show this because they consider it beneath their dignity.

But where can they then throw out their emotions? They find another way out of the situation, they just drink, drink and drink. It seems to them that alcohol is the only way out of all situations. In order for men not to withdraw into themselves and go on binges, we women must help them. We are, first of all, mothers who must and simply must feel for our sons, our husbands, and brothers. Women are much stronger morally than men.

You cannot humiliate a man if he has cried at least once in front of you. Men's tears are different from women's tears. Women cry with or without reason. And a man can cry only at a certain moment, when his soul is already overflowing with emotions. A man’s stingy tear means a lot, it means that the man is sincere with you and introduced himself to you without his hard shell.

Women, take care of men, there are not many of them in this world. Let them relax at home, let them cry and even sob, and you just silently listen to their cry from the soul. Never, remember, never laugh at a man’s tears.

Why do men cry?

It is rare to see a man crying. Mother Nature and human morality so decreed that the stronger sex experiences the events of their lives in most cases “dry”, only occasionally allowing themselves to “soak” their emotions. So why is the man crying? What can make a man “shed a tear”?

Perhaps the main motivation men's tears– helplessness, inability to change something, find a way out of the situation. Nothing can upset a man more than his own powerlessness in the face of life's troubles and problems. There are many options for such helplessness. Some people are offended and hurt to the point of tears when their father offends their mother, but it is impossible to intervene. Someone cries when a woman leaves (and not necessarily a loved one, they just “took away a toy”). Someone sheds a tear out of laziness and anger: an ambitious colleague has been surpassed in his career, a neighbor earns twice as much, a younger brother has built a luxurious dacha. I also really want all this, but I have neither the strength nor the desire to get up and start acting - laziness.

Seven ways to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Some are ready to cry out of pity for their loved one (“no one understands or appreciates me”, “life has passed”). There are representatives of the stronger sex who throw hysterics, hoping to evoke compassion and sympathy from loved ones, especially women with strong character. Most often, this is not only a manifestation of weakness, but also a request “ little boy" about help.

Involuntary men's tears can be triggered by physical pain, for example, when a dentist hits a nerve, or when a nose is bruised, when a blow stimulates lacrimal glands. Besides, pain threshold everyone has a different one. By the way, many people experience “physiological” tears both when cutting onions and when the saying “laugh until you cry” comes into play.

Force make a man cry maybe the loss of someone close to you: relatives, friends. True, at the time of tragedy, paradoxically, men rarely cry. Grief does not immediately cover them, at first they rush, as if on an embrasure, at the heap of problems that have fallen on them, but when the troubles are left behind, there is nothing to hide from trouble, the man relaxes, finding himself alone with his grief, and then gives free rein tears.

Another reason why the stronger sex can be moved is by playing games, from football to computer shooters. Yes, yes, our men are big children, the game for them remains the main entertainment for the rest of their lives, and they old age remain gamblers in it. Losing or winning causes a storm of emotions in men. We see tears of joy from victory from athletes standing on the podium, and there is no doubt about their fortitude and courage; losers in competitions also cry. And on the “opposite side”, in the stands, in front of the TV screens, hundreds of strong guys also shed tears. Surprisingly, according to statistics, from 15 to 25% of those present in sports arenas during decisive competitions men are crying because of the defeat or victory of your favorite team.

Men are no less, and sometimes more, sentimental than women. They capable of tears from joy and empathy, being present at the birth of a child, from tenderness, hearing the first “dad” of a little son, from nostalgia, finding himself in the yard of his childhood.

Yes, grown men, as a rule, cry infrequently. This is due, first of all, to a certain level of hormones, which is little subject to fluctuations, while in women it changes all the time, which affects their physical and mental state. Moreover, nowadays with early age boys are told: “Don’t cry, you’re a man!” So they grow up with a “program” not to cry, not to show their emotions under any circumstances, so as not to appear in the eyes of others as a doormat, a nurse, a weakling. Meanwhile, the thesis that real men don't cry, appeared relatively recently. In ancient Greece, where brutality was elevated to an absolute cult, men's tears were considered a manifestation of generosity and nobility of feelings. Our ancestors were convinced that only a strong person can allow himself to openly show his emotions, and a weak person depends on the opinions of others and is afraid of everyone’s ridicule.)

I found my neighbor in tears, he had recently lost his father and mother. I sat with him for four hours, it seemed like a stranger, but... This involuntary “nakedness” of him resonated in me with something piercing, and now when we meet, we don’t just throw “hello” - we meet eyes. For me he remains as strong and courageous as he was before, it’s just that now I know for sure that I will never reproach a man for tears, because these four hours were in my life.

If women's tears have not surprised anyone for a long time, then crying man rarely seen. Inexorable statistics show that men do not live long and, perhaps, one of the reasons for this extremely sad fact is precisely that they do not have the moral right to cry.

In fact, men also cry, but much less often and without making it public or showing it even to their closest and dearest people. As a rule, a man cries, hidden away from the whole world, so that no one can see his rare but heavy tears.

This is how Mother Nature decreed that the male sex experiences all the events of its life deep in its soul. But this does not mean that they experience less pain when they lose loved ones and close people or less happiness when their long-awaited heir is born. Numerous experiments have shown that men's experiences are deeper and more expressive than women's (superficial ones), which means that men experience grief and misfortune much longer and more intensely.

Why do men cry?

But what can make a real man cry? Of course, losing your favorite football team or suddenly running out of beer in the refrigerator is not a reason to shed a tear. Unlike the average woman, who can cry heartily over a torn stocking or a broken nail, a man needs a truly compelling reason for his tears. Death, a breakup, or sincere tears of happiness because a dream has come true - these are the drives that can make a person shed a tear.

Real men also cry in war, losing their bosom friends and colleagues, and at the obelisks, remembering all the past horrors and bitterly suffering from the fact that their young years have passed without bringing with them happiness and joy. Men are crying at their dear graves and abandoned childhood homes, where they could once enjoy sweet communication with their parents.

Men's tears very often compared to molten lead. They are as heavy as this material, because each tear contains inexpressible pain, bitter and hopeless despair, or, on the contrary, the happiness of a lifetime, once suffered by one’s own soul. And men's tears also burn, like lead. Every tear shed burns a burning mark on the cheeks of the one who cries, and on the heart of the one who will witness these precious tears.

Every year more and more more men They die much earlier than their wives. It’s just that one day their long-suffering heart, overloaded with sorrows and pain, refuses to work, taking lives forever. And isn’t this sad fact a reason to break the cruel stereotype about men’s tears!? Numerous heart attacks and other diseases are a consequence of the fact that year after year all the experienced events, stresses and failures accumulated in a bitter heap and were deposited in the male soul.

All people have the right to their own world, their tragedies and experiences, their personal happiness, dreams and their feelings. And they also have the right to tears! The fact that they have been drilled into their heads from childhood about courage, bravery and fearlessness does not mean that, seeing a man’s tears, a woman should immediately shower an already tired man with reproaches or ridicule.

On the contrary, a wise woman should understand how easy it is for a real, strong man to cry. She will always support you in such difficult times and show concern. Men have the same moral right to tears as they have to air, love or sex.

Of course, this does not apply to those pseudo-men who cry for any reason in the hope that this will soften the woman, more strong in spirit than the man himself. These are already whiners who break down in life every time the next disappointment awaits them.

The common expression that men don’t cry is not true. They cry, and the reason is not always events or upsets in real life.

This is a condition in which tears flow for any reason - both from joy and from troubles.

Normal healthy man– both men and women – react with tears to significant emotions. The pain of losing a loved one, the birth of children or grandchildren, a declaration of love, a wedding, victory in a fight - all these are reasons. When men cry at these moments, it is not tearfulness, but normal reaction on what has true everyday value.

Crying and tears are a way of natural discharge of negative or too strong positive emotions. However, such a release rarely occurs, only during strong experiences. If a man constantly has “wet eyes,” then the condition is clearly pathological and it is necessary to look for its cause.

A change in character and behavior requires attention, when a man turns from a restrained, calm and reasonable person into a real crybaby, and all this gets worse every day. Relatives should come to the rescue, prompt and push the person to see a doctor.

The most common causes of male tearfulness

There are several of them, and all are related to a specific organic damage. This:

  • male menopause or decreased levels of the main male hormone testosterone;
  • other violations hormonal balance associated with a decrease in the amount of testosterone;
  • dysfunction of the thyroid gland;

These reasons are difficult to separate one from the other; they merge together, forming hormonal deficiency syndrome in men. External manifestation This deficiency is tearfulness or tearfulness.

Such disorders are typical for men from 45 to 60 years old. For those who have crossed the 60-year mark, the cause of tearfulness is most often cerebral atherosclerosis or cerebrovascular disease, most often due to poorly treated arterial hypertension. For older men, caused by impaired blood flow and metabolic processes in brain tissue. These are tears and excessive sentimentality that arise for any reason. In old age, a condition develops such as chronic ischemia brain, and it is difficult to treat.

At the first manifestations of tearfulness, it is best to examine and find out the cause of changes in the emotional state.

Insidious testosterone

This is a hormone that is produced from cholesterol in both men and women. Place of production: adrenal cortex and testicles in men, ovaries in women. The difference in the amount determined by gender is large - in men it is 6-7 mg, in women it is no more than 1 mg.

The main production of testosterone in men occurs in the testicles. The synthesis of the pituitary hormone, which is called luteinizing hormone, commands the synthesis. The production of luteinizing hormone by the pituitary gland, in turn, is controlled by the hypothalamus.

The reference point for starting and stopping synthesis is the level free testosterone in blood. When there is little of it, synthesis begins, and when there is enough or a lot, it ends.

The main purpose of testosterone is the formation of secondary sexual characteristics: a powerful skeleton, strong muscles, a low voice, hair on the body and face, natural aggressiveness. Regulation of sexual behavior and sperm synthesis is also his job.

Maximum high level Testosterone levels in men are observed up to 45-50 years of age. After 45, the ratio of hormones changes: testosterone falls and estrogen rises. As a result, masculinity melts: the body becomes swollen, slightly enlarged mammary glands, the phenomena of benign degeneration of the prostate join, begin cardiovascular problems. During this period, many men become whiny, although they deny it.

How can you influence the level of the main male hormone?

First of all, you need to know that the amount of free testosterone in the blood varies depending on the time of year and day.

Free testosterone is a hormone that is not bound by protein and circulates in the blood.

The amount of the hormone increases with the onset of spring warmth and increasing daylight hours. The seasonal peak is in July. Then the amount decreases, reaching a minimum in mid-September. Daily fluctuations are as follows: minimum from 0 to 3 a.m., maximum from 7 to 9 a.m.

Correction of hormonal status in men is carried out by an andrologist. It all starts with determining the level of hormones in the blood plasma, and if necessary, replacement treatment is prescribed.

On hormonal status influences body weight, quality and quantity of night sleep, physical exercise. These points can be adjusted independently.

Signs of hormonal imbalance

If, against the backdrop of a calm life without much stress, a man develops tearfulness, you need to look for the following signs:

  • insomnia and fatigue, weakness;
  • rapid increase in body weight;
  • enlargement and swelling mammary glands;
  • decrease in sexual desire, including morning erection, duration and frequency of sexual intercourse;
  • formation of deep wrinkles, sagging and dry skin.

At the same time, self-esteem may decrease, the desire for self-realization and career ambitions may decrease, and the assessment of life prospects may deteriorate. Tearfulness may be accompanied by irritability and increased sweating.

If at least 2-3 of the signs listed above appear, you should not delay visiting a doctor. Laboratory diagnostics the level of hormones - testosterone, estradiol, thyroid-stimulating, luteinizing, prolactin, adrenocortitropic and others - will help to quickly clarify the disorders that persistently exist in a person.

Hormonal status is quite accessible medicinal correction. The main condition is to visit a doctor every quarter for laboratory monitoring of treatment.

Male menopause can proceed gently and calmly if you do not let things take their course. Talking to your doctor will help you understand that the average and elderly age has a lot of its attractive sides. Enjoying the aesthetic side of life can sometimes bring more deep and conscious joy than simple physiological processes.

Beer alcoholism

One of the common causes of tearfulness in males with low educational qualifications. Unfortunately, the constant consumption of beer in many families is not considered something pathological.

Many people don’t think about the fact that beer is, first and foremost, a high-calorie drink. 100 ml of beer contains from 30 to 65 kcal. An ordinary half-liter glass contains more than 200 kcal, and together with snacks it reaches 300-400. “Too much” calories is not the most unpleasant thing, much worse for men are phytoestrogens or hormone-like substances plant origin, stimulating the restructuring of the body according to the female type. A beer belly, fading sexual feelings, flabbiness, sweating and tearfulness are direct consequences of an addiction to a foamy drink.

Stress and psychological trauma

Men experience life's troubles completely differently than women. Normally, a man is dominant right hemisphere, and this is logic and rationality. If women mourn failures in life, then men look for and find the shortest way out of a traumatic situation.

However, this rationality contains a time bomb that can break the very strong man. The danger lies in the fact that a man cannot come to terms with objective changes in reality. When faced with a situation that a man cannot change - a career problem, separation from the woman he loves, deterioration in social status - reactions that are destructive to the individual arise.

Relatives and friends of men must understand that his inner world fragile as a crystal vase. If a man is whiny at home, then you should be glad that he internal tension finds a way out.

Many dangers await men when a child is born into a family. The natural switching of the focus of attention to the baby is perceived by many infantile men as an annoying circumstance and becomes the trigger for scandals and subsequent cooling.

In all cases when a previously balanced man develops tearfulness, it is advisable to consult a doctor - or a psychotherapist. If necessary, the patient is redirected to an andrologist, but this is not always required.

Men don't cry. Typically this sentence always ends with a period. But TSR decided to put a question mark and get to the bottom of it. We conducted a survey among those who used men's tears or watched from the sidelines. So do men cry? Only pure truth and no lies.

Dmitry Petrov:

Men are crying. Even the strongest and strongest. My grandfather for me is the standard of a real man, he raised me, he is a real man. He can do everything, he knows everything. And how to fix the faucet, and how best to behave with a friend in difficult situation. The only time in my life I saw him cry. It was at his mother's funeral. He was simply sobbing. Well, how could it be different?

Alya Gruntovskaya:

Men are crying. Of course they cry. They cry like little girls if they hit a corner with their little finger, or, for example, they were going to play football, and the weather turned bad outside - which is not a reason. But as for real (emphasized) men, it’s fair to say that I’ve never seen them wipe away tears. It seems to me that crying is the destiny and, oddly enough, the joy of girls. We can all be so impulsive and emotional, burst into tears (whether there is a reason or not - it doesn’t matter) at any moment, but if a young man does this, then, perhaps, I will think that he is not entirely normal.

Alexey Marushchak:

I constantly cry, at home, at work, at a friend’s house, everywhere and always. Those men are blatantly lying when they claim that they are so brutal that their tear glands are compressed to such an extent that they only let off steam. We are not made of iron. I roar very often, from all kinds of p****suffering videos that are now replete with the Internet. I drop stingy male tears directly onto the floor. From all kinds of melodramas and other nonsense.

It's not shameful to cry, it's shameful to give up!

Unfortunately, I'm probably too sentimental. When I lose people close to me and not only people. I roared, roared and will roar, but I adhere to the “real man’s rule” - I don’t show this. For a man is a support; it is not comme il faut for us to cry in front of others. And so, of course. On the film “P.S. I love you”, due to a number of reasons that led me to watch this film all alone and with a bottle of wine (the lady was tired and fell asleep at the very beginning), I thought that at the end of the film I would burst into tears in the apartment. Well, that's how things are.

Lena Egorova:

I saw a lot of “boyish” tears and only a couple of times real “stingy male tears”. The boys cried bitterly and, in my opinion, everyone tried to cry as they had seen it in some movie, showing all the wonders of their acting skills.

I saw the most of this snot in that very year 2007: checkered bracelets, a jar of a jaguar and bangs - required attributes, without this it was impossible to cry.

And in 2011, I often observed the scene “I understand everything, I’m a fool who loves you,” all this was accompanied by a copious flow of tears. In my opinion, crying loudly in the presence of someone is always an acting scene and such antics have nothing to do with real feelings and emotions. A real man may cry at home, alone, because Woodstock went on without him.

Olga Alekseeva:

I don't like men's tears. I'm one of those cynical women who believe that real men don't cry. I allow men’s tears only on “special” occasions - the loss of loved ones and friends. I used to think: “If I see my boyfriend’s tears, I’m in, he trusts me, well done!” And then I somehow saw... We cried for a long time and, it seemed, overly artificially, with the words “Don’t leave, I will forgive everything!”, such crocodile tears. Apart from the feelings of “fu-be-hey, dude, I’m good, I’m not like that” - there was no feeling that the person trusted me. Since those distant days, I can’t stand men’s tears!

Leave it to the women - let them cry. And you - well, I don’t know, fuck someone or get drunk like pigs. In general, come up with something.

Ivan Kistanov:

They cry, they just lie that they don’t cry. But the reason is different for everyone. Some people cry over onions when their wife doesn’t want to cook borscht, but wants to eat. Others, when they see gasoline prices. Well, I can give free rein to my feelings when watching Interstellar. To be honest, I was a little embarrassed, but my emotions were overflowing. Even when I watched The Lion King I didn't cry. And here…

Igor Bolganov:

Of course, men cry, because some of us are people too. And the mechanism of secretion of tear fluid is the same in all people. But, if nothing prevents girls from indulging in sweet sobs at least ten times a day, then men are faced with complex problem, consisting of three serious factors.
The first factor is physiological: male hormones, in particular, testosterone, seriously interfere with the secretion of sparkling salty tears.
The second is psychological. In almost all world cultures, there is an educational archetype according to which the tears of the stronger half, as well as other manifestations of weakness, are not encouraged. You can argue for a long time why this happened - partly the answer is in reason No. 3, but the premises are quite logical.
The third factor is instinctive: it is at the junction of the first and second reasons.

Tears (and not only among Homo Sapiens) are a clear biological marker that the body’s protective abilities have sharply decreased. This is a clear indicator of weakness. And in the early Paleolithic era, they could, without a second thought, get hit on the head with a club and eaten. Which, in fact, is what they did.

Considering all this nonsense, we can say for sure that men cry for exactly the same reasons as women, but in the case of us, this “something” must be out of the ordinary so that the resulting stress can overcome all the barriers described above . Personally, I cried twice over the past 10 years - at a funeral and from unhappy love.

Oleg Khovrin:

With age, a man becomes more and more sentimental, and no longer cries over the poor dog Hachiko, but, for example, over the birth of his first long-awaited child. This is one of the best ways emotional relief, but at the same time - a demonstration of your weakness.

The men are crying. The main rule is to do it so that no one sees.

Nastya Yudina:

Of course men cry. Even the most imperturbable ones. Even with women. But as a rule, they always cry for a reason and try to do it in thirty seconds. Of course, a man sobbing in the office walls, having been subjected to unfounded criticism from his boss, will begin to look like an infantile whiner in the eyes of his colleagues. And if, for example, a thirty-year-old driver, seeing a dent on his new Opel, begins to cry at the scene of the accident and complain on the phone to his wife, then traffic police officers (like other witnesses to the accident) are unlikely to consider him sane. But who would think of condemning the unconcealed tears of joy of a man who has just become a father? And one can hardly call a crying man who has lost someone close or faced insurmountable difficulties a weakling. And, in the end, who among the men did not shed a stingy tear, being moved while watching a movie?

Cyril Copernicus:

As it turns out, over the years I have become quite sentimental person. I will not cry from resentment, bitterness or pain, I will endure it. But I really can from something touching. This could be some powerful scene in a good film, interaction with the audience at a concert of a cool artist, or, in general, a poignant moment in a song.

I don't cry in front of women. Once during sex, one girl burst into tears all over her feelings. I didn't.

Daria Matveeva:

In my universe there are three categories of men and their likenesses. The first is “a crybaby, because tears are not shameful.” This is a category that is impossible to look at without pity and you want to quickly give them to the mother so that she can give them a rattle and the baby will calm down. Category two - “men don’t cry, they get upset” - posers highest degree who put on a good face bad game. With the “boys” there is flint, and at home under Loc Dog there are tears that she said no. Both of these categories are banned. But there is a third one. Men whose tears are very difficult to see, but if you have seen them at least once, you are a superwoman! And these men and women who brought them to tears should all be included in the Red Book.

Dmitry Kharkov:

They're still crying. They cry when they watch sad films. They cry when a girl leaves them. They cry when they lose loved ones. They cry when they missed their chance, which they will never get back.

Pavel Legkodimov:

Men don't cry. The guys are just drinking.