What do men's tears say? Why does a man cry and when are men allowed to cry?

Male gaze.

Hello ladies! Today we will talk about a very rare natural phenomenon - male tears. I don’t know, maybe you’ve seen them more often than me, and you can name a bunch of ways to cause them? Well, I’ll try to explain to you where men’s tears come from, according to my observations and feelings.

It seems to me that impotence is one of the main reasons for men's tears. Powerlessness before the death or serious illness of a loved one. Powerlessness before some terrible and vile force that has broken or is breaking the life of you or your family. Powerlessness in the face of circumstances, in the face of an absurd incident, an accident, in the face of the inability to correct some monstrous mistake of one’s own.

Although, of course, there are simpler reasons. Sometimes a man really wants to cry because of some banal injustice. Well, for example, you’ve been working on something for ten years. And then they put you in charge of a dim-witted young relative of the business owner who doesn’t understand a damn thing about the matter, is rude and treats you like an idiot. Strong and hot-tempered people, of course, will punch such a character in the face once and will then look for another job. But those who are more restrained can endure it for some time, but at the same time worry greatly, even to the point of tears. However, strong-willed strong man may also suffer from unfair treatment. It is very disappointing and sad when we are not appreciated. And when decisions are made by some very narrow-minded and unworthy people, and we are obliged to carry them out.

It happens (though rarely) when you want to cry from loneliness. Especially in contrast, when all day you are closely communicating with someone at work, solving all sorts of issues, going to meetings. And in the evening you find yourself alone in an empty apartment. And you understand that all the creative work that has devoured you and deprived you of all time for your personal life has, as a result, put you in this panel cage, where you are alone, no one calls, no one comes. You can, of course, call a friend yourself and have a drink with him. But I want something else - dear, to care, love, lie next to you and be one with you.

Only if we talk about myself, then I rarely cry. I tried to remember when. Of course, at the funeral of my grandparents. At the funeral of my uncle, who died of cancer at 45. At the funeral of a colleague with whom we worked together. And when I buried my dog ​​in the forest, I also cried all the way back in the car. And I’m ashamed to admit, I didn’t even cry so much for people. Maybe because I was ashamed in front of the dog, to which I paid little attention due to my eternal work, although, unlike people, it depended entirely on me. Perhaps that’s all, but fortunately, I simply didn’t have any other serious reasons.

I don’t know whether those who cry over any trifle can be considered men. Who throws hysterics at their wives and even throws them into tears. You know better if you happen to live with people like that. All I could do with women was cry with happiness. This is when you hug the person closest to you at that moment and it feels so good that you really want to cry. Here, in my opinion, you can’t hold back. Let it be just like that for you!

Many people have heard the concept of “male tears,” but not many have seen it. This is not surprising: men very rarely show their weaknesses in public. Yes, they consider the manifestation of sentimentality to be a weakness. Why can't men cry? Because it seems to them that it makes them vulnerable. How can he, a man so strong, so powerful, so independent and brave, cry in front of others? For him, as a representative of the strong half of humanity, this is simply unacceptable. His tears are personal, intimate, belonging only to him. They contain his pain, his joy, his emotions, his suffering, and he does not intend to share his feelings and experiences with others.

Perhaps the main motivation for men’s tears is helplessness, the inability to change something, to find a way out of the situation. Nothing can upset a man more than his own powerlessness in the face of life's troubles and problems. There are many options for such helplessness. Some people are offended and hurt to the point of tears when their father offends their mother, but it is impossible to intervene. Someone cries when a woman leaves (and not necessarily a loved one, they just “took away a toy”). Someone sheds a tear out of laziness and anger: an ambitious colleague has been surpassed in his career, a neighbor earns twice as much, a younger brother has built a luxurious dacha. I also really want all this, but I have neither the strength nor the desire to get up and start acting - laziness.

Some are ready to cry out of pity for their loved one (“no one understands or appreciates me”, “life has passed”). There are representatives of the stronger sex who throw hysterics, hoping to evoke compassion and sympathy from loved ones, especially women with strong character. Most often, this is not only a manifestation of weakness, but also a request “ little boy" about help.

Involuntary male tears can be triggered by physical pain, such as when a dentist hits a nerve, or when the nose is bruised, when the blow stimulates the tear glands. Besides, pain threshold everyone has a different one. By the way, many people experience “physiological” tears both when cutting onions and when the saying “laugh until you cry” comes into play.

7 stages a man goes through when breaking up

If you ask a man a question about how he copes with a breakup, the answer can be heard in best case scenario- Fine. But in fact, there is only one answer to this question - silently. Women cry more and talk all the time about their broken hearts. Today I read one publication on http://wjday.ru/ and somehow thought about this question. Men have long been conditioned to keep everything to themselves. In public they are silent, silent and patient, withdrawn into themselves. Which quite often turns out to be the case for them. incurable alcoholism, not counting the diseases that may occur against the background of a nervous breakdown.

Scientists from the University of Koenigsberg have established 7 stages that almost all men experience during a breakup:

This is due to the fact that he cannot believe that this really happened. In other words, men deny everything that is happening. There is a feeling of not understanding, denial, fear.

At this stage, men become irritated, angry, violently generating anger towards everything that surrounds them. At this stage, the consciousness comes that this really happened, and experiences everything negative emotions. In 60% of cases, men have these negative feelings directed exclusively at themselves, since they know that they are the stronger sex, and they think that they have not coped with all the difficulties they have faced with their chosen one.

Third stage: final awareness of everything that is happening.

When the big flow of anger has gone, men usually begin to understand what really happened. Depression begins, which lowers self-esteem to the very minimum. At this moment, men stop feeling anything about themselves, they simply go through a stage of existence in their heads.

At this moment, the male sex begins to think about at what stage of their relationship the misfire occurred, each time going through the wrong decisions. Such thoughts occur, of course, at all stages of experiencing separation, but especially after anger and depression, men finally make a verdict in their heads about where and what mistakes were present in the relationship.

When men have realized everything that is happening and have worked on the mistakes in their heads from past relationships, the search for something new begins. Moreover, everyone has new ideas in different ways, some begin to look for a new passion, some throw themselves into work, and some see life in drunkenness. The latter is usually the most common option.

Well, everything is clear here, self-esteem returns, a new meaning to life is found. Many men have a desire to find the woman of their life, start a family, and finally throw away the whole past in their lives.

At this stage, men can easily start searching for their new passion, doing their favorite things without bothering their heads with unpleasant thoughts. There is only one thing, a man will always remember good points from a previous relationship, but he can also hate it just as much for a breakup initiated by a woman.

It is worth remembering that if a man is silent, does not express obvious feelings, and your friends tell you that he still goes to the bar on Saturdays to drink beer with his friends, this does not mean that he absolutely does not care about your breakup, most likely he simply buried his emotions as deeply as possible.

...Once I had to become an involuntary witness to the loud scream of a middle-aged man. At one service in church, I suddenly heard a groan escaping somewhere from the depths of a man’s chest. Turning my head slightly, I saw a well-groomed man standing literally two steps away from me. Throwing his head back, he seemed to freeze with his arms raised up.

Occasionally his body was shaken by surging emotions. The face had long been wet from tears, which were already flowing in streams into the very ears. ABOUT! These streams of tears... You don't see this often! This one is sobbing crying man haunted my consciousness for a long time. Why was he crying so uncontrollably? What happened in his life to provoke crying in public? “He probably asked for mercy from the Almighty,” was the first thing that came to my mind...

...And here in front of me is a letter from a young guy. Jerky quotes hold my gaze: “I am a very whiny person. Offending me and bringing me to tears is no problem... I can be offended by any offensive word and burst into tears... Do you think that this is not courageous?.. I hate myself for this and fight with it, but, despite all my efforts, I remain like this same. And now, as I write these lines, tears are quietly rolling down my cheeks.”

I gave only three situations in which men cried. I have always wondered: “Is this a sign of weakness or an expression of pain?” I asked myself this more than once. And a number of others following the first. Why do men cry? How should we women react to this phenomenon? And what do men themselves think about this? I decided to look for answers on the forums. Let's see what happened as a result.

What do women say about men's tears?

Most women note that they are sympathetic to men's tears. Even if they were taken by surprise by such a situation. After all, it’s not every day that men roar! Still, the “weaker” sex is not used to seeing the “stronger” sex cry. Apparently this is due to the well-established stereotype “A man doesn’t cry.” Violating it automatically launches a program to search for the subject’s inconsistency with those unspoken standards that were instilled in childhood and which he, a man, is supposed to follow.

Women perceive a man's tears as a manifestation of serious, real feelings. “If a man cries, it says a lot! This means VERY painful! And looking at a man’s tears is VERY painful! If O is crying, it means everything is VERY serious!” The female sex almost unanimously says: “Men’s tears are stingy and break out when the heart simply cannot withstand the stress. But if a man constantly whines, then he’s really a wuss.” It’s clear who needs a wimp next to them. But women don’t like deeply hidden male emotions either. They want to be close to men to share their suffering.

Some compassionate people advise “men to cry more.” They say that they will live longer and be healthier. Otherwise, you see, they carry all their experiences within themselves, do not share what hurts them, and then - heart attacks, various ailments. “After all, men are people too, and sometimes it’s better to have tears than physical self-torture!” Women willingly share their experiences and rush to console with the results: “Tears cleanse and liberate.” Cry, men, when you cry. Feel better. Women know what they advise.

And one lady in love shared a touching moment of parting with her beloved. “Before leaving for Europe for 2 weeks, I gave him a box with 100 reasons why I love him. When he finished reading to 101 reasons, I saw that he cried, with happiness, but at the same time with regret that I was leaving!!!”

What do men say about their tears?

Men, as I have noticed, do not scatter thoughts throughout the tree. Short and to the point. But if they speak, then it is worth listening to them. Dear women, hear how and why our men cry? Let me give you a few succinct quotes.

“I don’t know what to call this condition, when there is a pinching and sharp cutting in the chest, and then it radiates to the bridge of the nose, but the tears do not flow. I think this is a “male” tear. Not outside, but inside yourself...” - this is how men cry, it turns out. “We just show emotions in public less often... We men have only tears - crocodile tears. I meant that there are almost no tears (crocodile tears - when a crocodile cleans its eyes of all debris). In general, do you know that a man feels pain 30% stronger than a woman?!”

Another male revelation: “The reasons for men’s tears are the same as for women - pain, resentment, disappointment... But it is so customary that men hide their tears, suppress their feelings, and allow themselves to howl only alone without witnesses.” But one of the representatives of the masculine family is trying to reach women’s hearts: “If you saw a man crying in front of you, you saw his soul, he opened it to you, that’s worth a lot.”

Men openly admit that they are tired of hiding behind “cynicism or eternal humor.” They want to express their pent-up emotions. They are tired of being “blocks of stone” and have long been striving to become ordinary feeling people with soft heart. So let's help men be men with the whole range of feelings: joys, pains, sorrows... Let's lend our strong feminine shoulder, women, if something happens?

If a guy cries because of a girl, what could happen?

Video When men cry...

Quote: A man only cries in two cases.

In principle, a man gets mad only in two cases: when she’s not with him... and when she’s not with him.

Ivan Okhlobystin (40+)

You only need to thank a man in two cases. If He leaves your life once and for all. Or if it stays in it once and for all.

Perhaps, only in two cases is a person not afraid to do stupid things and seem funny: in childhood and when he is madly in love.

Oleg Roy (100+)

When big challenges arise in life, there are only two paths: the path of the victim or the path of the hero of his novel. Remember, the choice is yours!

Konstantin Pi (50+)

If a person betrayed someone because of you, you should not associate your life with him, sooner or later he will betray you because of someone.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (100+)

When you completely, unconditionally trust a person, you end up with one of two things: either a person for life, or a lesson for life.

We change ourselves mainly for one of two reasons - inspiration or desperation.

Jim Rohn (30+)

In youth, a man wants sex, and a woman wants love. In adulthood, he wants love, and she wants sex. And only in old age do they want the same thing: peace.

Konstantin Melikhan (100+)

A person has only two paths: either progress or degradation; conservatism in pure form contradicts the essence of the laws of the universe.

Alfred North Whitehead (5)

The great mysteries of our existence have yet to be solved; even death may not be the end.

Nikola Tesla (20+)

If a man cries when breaking up

Marie, there is no need to change concepts. All the people are crying. This has nothing to do with spine and strength at all. You can train a rabbit to sit with a straight face. The question is - why?
If our unfortunate men have been told that crying is shameful, then this is monstrous. Many were also taught that they are disabled in everyday life, they are not able to wash their own dishes, this is not a man’s job. And no one is ashamed for it. And for tears, normal human emotions are ready to rot.
It bothered me that my husband didn’t cry at all; his mother-in-law raised him to be such a “courageous” boy and mentally raped him. It took me 20 years to learn that you HAVE to cry when you want it. Not in public, of course. And tears are normal.
Do you know why some men have a higher mortality rate? Their vessels are not so elastic; they cannot withstand pressure surges. And it is emotional emancipation that eliminates such a misfortune.
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Why yours cried is unknown. Maybe love, maybe the notorious borscht, or maybe from resentment that he was abandoned. You won't know the truth here.

Men cry too, and this is the harsh truth of life. Why not, after all? They are people just like us and have the right to express emotions. But, unfortunately, some men not only cry, but also whine. If this is a one-time spleen event, then it’s nothing - how can you not console your loved one! It’s much worse when a man is upset about (Manchester was eliminated from the Champions League) and without (you washed his lucky white T-shirt with a red sock on the chest). This is a professional whiner in front of you, and you will have to tinker with him if he...

Our expert: ANASTASIA UMANSKAYA,
psychologist, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league.
www.anastasiya-um.livejournal.com

SUFFERING
FROM LIFE IN GENERAL Prototype: donkey Eeyore
He can be recognized by the words: “Everything is going well, but it’s passing by” and the famous “I myself am so unhappy - without gifts and without a birthday cake, and generally forgotten and abandoned.”
If I were Vitya's wife, I would walk around with earplugs. Or she regularly called a psychiatric ambulance to her house. Anyone would be driven crazy by constant complaints about the roads, the neighbors, the neighbors' dog and the rest of the world. If it rains in the morning, it’s only so that Vitya gets wet on the way to work, gets sick and dies in agony. If the sun is shining, it’s only so that Vitya gets hot, he undresses, gets sick and... Well, you understand. But recently Vitya had a girlfriend, Nina, who is laughing and optimistic. Maybe she takes antidepressants or wears plugs, I don’t know. But even Vitya began to look at life more cheerfully and now says that not everyone will die in 2012: the chosen ones will still be saved.
Psychologist's explanation: It is difficult to help such people: there are many problems, but there are no ways to solve them all. The complainer does not understand that he himself creates his own mood. Deep in his view of the world may lie an internal “ban on joy” formed in childhood. For example, if parents saw only the dark side of life, the child adopts this attitude. Trying to re-educate a complainant is a utopian endeavor. If a person is comfortable living with such a mood, but you are not, that is your problem. Vita is lucky to have a girl: laughing Nina can inspire him with her example, because she does not seek to change him, but simply lives next to him differently.

SUFFERING
FROM MANIFESTATIONS OF REALITY
Prototype: Pierrot.
He can be recognized by his look filled with adoration and the words: “Malvina, my bride, has disappeared...” and “I’m sobbing, I don’t know where to go!”
Every girl should have a romance of chivalry in her life. Not necessarily Roman, for example, I had Seryozha. He fell in love instantly and monumentally. Apparently, it was due to the fact that Seryozha was an ardent fan of role-playing games and every Sunday, scaring away passers-by, he marched to the park in armor to represent one of the light elves in battles for good. And who should you dedicate your military exploits to, if not the elf? The technological 21st century oppressed Seryozha, but he dodged as best he could: he gave flowers, surrounded me with tender care. This two-meter hen constantly cackled, no matter how I caught a cold in my neck or got my feet wet. True, we never went on dates to restaurants, because princesses don’t eat. I got tired of being a goddess and ran away. Seeing me with Igor, Seryozha was not surprised. Finally he had a worthy reason to suffer. And every week he sent me finely written notebooks, where my betrayal was glorified in the most sublime terms. I realized: you can’t just get off the pedestal.
Psychologist's explanation: The reason for this attitude may be the belief that love is associated with pain. Following his internal program, a person finds a reason to suffer. Also, the basis of “chivalry” may be the idealization of a woman and the feeling of being “unworthy” next to her. Many girls like it at first. But the further you go, the less satisfying the novel brings. After all, the “knight” sees in front of him not a living person, but a sublime ideal, the destruction of which means collapse. Such relationships often occur at a distance - the closer you get to the person, the more the imaginary image diverges from life. The other extreme is when the romance develops and the “knight” becomes a domestic tyrant, trying to reshape the woman to his ideal. Happy union is possible only if both have the same needs. For example, one will change, and the other will change. But, alas, this is rare.

SUFFERING
TO MANIPULATE
Prototype: Carlson, who lives on the roof.
He can be recognized by the words: “You would be lucky if I were in your place...” and the famous “You promised that you would be my own mother, but you are busy stuffing your mouth with sweets.”
I never liked this fairy tale: Carlson flew in, flew away, and the Kid took the rap! It’s good that I had a chance to miss such a character in my life. But my neighbor Lyuda was not lucky in life. “Oh, how he looked after me,” Luda recalls. “The Motherland statue would not have been able to stand it and would have fled with him to the ends of the earth.” A man with a romantic name Valentin beautifully seduced Lyudmila. Traces of his courtship were constantly found in the entrance: either a path of rose petals to the door, or a basket of dried orchids near the garbage chute. The girl couldn't resist. The boyfriend moved in with her, and it was all over before it began. Valya was fired. “It’s good for you,” he sighed from the sofa, “you’re busy, and I have to hang around at home.” Lyudochka rushed to console him, then went to the office with three changes, and after work she ran to prepare dinner. Valya said that the blues prevented him from doing housework, otherwise he would have made such a pasta - you'll lick your fingers. Luda listened and did not notice how the mythical paste settled like noodles on her ears. But one day, when Valya was recovering in a bubble bath, Lyuda returned home early and looked at the computer. On the mail page opened by Valya unknown girl showed off her breasts and asked “Cupid Valentin” when they could meet in real life. “I prescribed him an antidepressant right on the spot,” Luda proudly shares and nods to the family cast iron frying pan. I think the Motherland would be proud of her.
Psychologist's explanation: Everyone manipulates loved ones, but more often unconsciously. Having once seen that the method works, a person repeats attempts to achieve his goal in this way. Another thing is that the manipulator needs an object. The only way to fight is not to succumb to provocations. It is important to understand what is behind this behavior. Maybe a need for care or recognition?

SUFFERING
BECAUSE HE'S A GENIUS
Prototype: L. Tolstoy, S. Yesenin, A. Pushkin and many others.
He can be recognized by the words: “The muse has left me” and by the famous “I am languishing, I am dying, my fiery soul is extinguished.”
To tolerate a genius, you need to be at least Sofia Andreevna. The husband, in anguish, either gets ready to walk to America, or calls her “crazy,” and she responds meekly: “Poor Levochka.” Holy! My friend Anya followed in the footsteps of Countess Tolstoy, unable to resist the greatness of a potential genius. By the time he met the girl, the writer Igor had published two books about the life of aliens and was actively creating a third. He had neither the energy nor the time for courtship, so the second date ended with Anya moving to the genius. Igor had a unique talent for creating chaos around himself, constantly demanding attention and moping due to the lack of a muse. “You see, I need inspiration,” he explained to Anya, gathering with friends at nightclub. “Pushkin also constantly flirted with other women.” Anya didn’t dare remind her that Pushkin ended badly. But in the end, she could not stand the torment of her beloved and threatened to leave. Igor was afraid of the collapse of an established way of life and agreed to treat crises by other means. Now they are together looking for inspiration in Indian ashrams, and Igor is going to write new novel about yogis.
Psychologist's explanation: Genius is a rarity, and his companion really has to devote her whole life to him. More often there are creative people who are prone to mood swings. It is difficult to find support in such men. They strive for the type of relationship where the beloved replaces the mother. Often these families remain childless, because they already have one “child”. Basic method psychological work with such people - to help them realize that they themselves are responsible for their mood. Although in the case of Igor, Anya achieved the effect by demonstrating to her lover possible consequences his behavior.
P.S. It also happens that, due to personal cataclysms, a man who yesterday was riding a cart around the supermarket cheerfully shouting “Get out, you little bastards!” today sadly wanders around the house and asks how the word “will” is spelled. “We are raised to believe that a man’s failure attracts more attention than a woman’s. In times of crisis, a man really needs faith in his strength,” says Anastasia Umanskaya. “But people understand support differently. Before you rush to save your loved one, ask him: “What can I do for you?” And on my own behalf I will say that girls’ joys such as a good comedy, a massage and meeting with friends help men too. The main thing is not to overdo it with wine and advice and remember that the phrase “You have problems, do you want to talk about them?” It sounds good only in cheap TV series. Where greater effect will have a simple confession: “You are the best, I love you!”

Men don’t cry” - from childhood this position is taught to boys, who should not show their tears, become despondent and become limp. There is active propaganda for this situation, indicating that tears are a weakness of the stronger sex. However, nature has given lacrimal glands to both sexes, which already suggests that men cry too.

Promoting the absence of tears

Boys and girls are raised differently. “A man should not cry” - with such instructions, parents and the entire society force the stronger sex not to show their tears. Boys shouldn't cry, but girls can. The propaganda of the absence of tears is actively based on hatred of the opposite sex. How is this done?

The boy is crying. What do adults tell him? “Why are you crying like a girl!” - that is, it’s bad to be a girl, girls do the wrong thing by crying, a boy turns into a certain creature called a “girl” when he cries. His natural impulses become something bad. What he wants to eat sometimes is not bad and does not compare with the bad creature “girl”. And the fact that you want to cry when it hurts is already perceived negatively by others.

Not only should the boy not cry, but he is also set up to negative attitude to the opposite sex. Many stories are based on this basis, when adult men and women cannot find common language when tears appear. It is mostly the woman who cries because she has been allowed to cry since childhood. What happens to the man?

• Some people panic when a woman cries.
• Others feel contempt for the fact that a woman cries.
• Still others have a desire to do everything to stop the tears.

Why do men react so strangely to women's tears? Because their reaction emerges in their subconscious, which they developed when they themselves cried in childhood. If they were afraid to cry because their parents were arguing, then they will panic again, but in relation to other people's tears. If they were conditioned to demean tears, which are associated with girlish manifestations of weakness, then it will manifest itself in adulthood. If a man is accustomed to avoiding tears by quickly changing a bad situation to a good one (when someone's whims are satisfied), then he will act accordingly.

Tears for a man become not just something forbidden, but also humiliating. For a man to cry is to show weakness. And only a woman can have weaknesses, while a man must always remain strong in everything.

Public propaganda may have initially been aimed at raising men into strong personalities who do not become discouraged and do not waste time crying, but try to solve the problem as quickly as possible. However, the result of such manipulation was large number weak men who simply hide their tears or show their grief in other ways.

Nature is much wiser: she gave lacrimal glands to both sexes. Firstly, they secrete tears in order to eyeballs cleaned of dirt and moisturized. Any person produces tear fluid, just not in the same quantity as when crying.

Secondly, crying is completely normal. This allows you to release yourself emotionally. They say that women live longer than men. Some scientists are inclined to believe that this state of affairs is explained by the fact that women are allowed to cry, that is, to discharge emotionally. And men accumulate negative, unexperienced emotions, which then come out along with bad deeds or are aimed at self-destruction (alcoholism, drug addiction, promiscuity, etc.).

If men did not cry, nature would not have endowed them with the lacrimal glands that women have. This means that society cripples the psyche of men, which leads them to negative behavior. Nature allows men to cry, and sometimes they actually do.

Why do men cry?

Nothing human is alien to men. And the ability to cry is inherent in all people, regardless of gender. Despite the fierce propaganda when any member of the stronger sex is shamed for his tears, there are still moments when a man simply cannot help but cry. At such moments, he simply does not care what others think, because otherwise he will not be able to withstand the stress psychologically. Why do men cry?

1. Death loved one. In such a situation, psychologists do not recommend holding back your tears to anyone. Whether it's a man or a woman, if tears come out, you should let them out.

Crying over the death of a loved one is a completely normal human reaction. Of course, men's tears at a funeral or after the news of death can cause bewilderment among others. However, in this situation you really should not give a damn about public opinion.

A man is experiencing grief, a serious loss. It is quite normal to cry in such a situation and abnormal, on the contrary, not to cry, especially if we are talking about a person close to a man.

1. Physical pain. Although boys are taught not to cry over physical pain, it is because of her that tears can arise. Of course, when hit on the head or wounded, a man will endure steadfastly and not cry (as adults taught this in childhood). However, if there is pain throughout the body or toothache, a man may not be able to stand it.

The pain threshold in men is lower than in women. This is why, during a serious illness, women may not cry, unlike men. This is not due to self-hypnosis, but to actual physical experiences. Men feel pain much more acutely than women, so they can become emotional.

Most often, a man's tears can be seen in the dentist's office after a nerve has been pulled out or as a result of a complex, painful operation. toothache very difficult to bear. Here, tears sometimes flow on their own, regardless of the person’s gender.

1. Poverty, loss of property. The main task of a man is to achieve material (financial) prosperity. If a man loses all this overnight, he may experience deep despair accompanied by tears.

Imagine losing something you've worked on for years. All your time, effort, resources, health went into achieving or acquiring some kind of success. And then you instantly lose everything. What to do? Where to run? Tears naturally arise from the realization that nothing can be changed.

A man will cry if he loses a large sum of money, property or business, for which he spent many years and effort. Here he will not only cry, but also want to drink or commit any other ridiculous act. Loss material goods as if telling a man that he is a loser. His actions caused him to lose everything. Anyone will feel emotional here.

1. Woman's care. Of course, few people know and talk about such situations, since men prefer to do this alone and not disclose to anyone about the manifestation of crying.

Separation and breakdown of relationships leads to tears not only for a woman, but also for a man. Since the stronger sex prefers to cry alone, it may seem to many that they endure the departure of women steadfastly and calmly. In fact, if a man loved and did not want to leave, he will cry just like a woman does. He just won’t show his words even to his friends and won’t tell anyone about how he went through his experiences.

1. Betrayal of a friend. We are talking here specifically about those friends whom the man trusted, told everything, and considered the most faithful and devoted. If suddenly such “ true friend” hits a man in the back, this will certainly cause crying.

What causes tears? Due to the fact that the man is very disappointed, he realizes his own stupidity, which he committed against his friend, and the hopelessness of the situation. When you completely trust someone, you don’t expect a trick. If a person does not live up to trust, this causes natural reaction in the form of tears.

1. Birth of a child. Perhaps such a situation will cause crying in any person, regardless of age and gender. A man may cry if he himself was present at the birth or heard the first cry of his baby. Usually tears arise when a man has his first child, for whom he has been waiting for a long time.

Men are usually not present at births. However, it doesn't matter. If a man is expecting a baby, then his crying accumulates during all those months of pregnancy that he knows about. He is worried, worried that everything will be fine with the baby. When the baby finally comes into the world, it brings tears of happiness/joy. A man rejoices at the arrival of his long-awaited child.

1. Child's achievements. A man may also cry when his child has certain achievements. Here we're talking about about those achievements that seem significant to a man. For example, a man wanted his boy to learn archery or his girl to marry a decent, wealthy partner.

When a man sees that his child has achieved the success that he expected of him, it brings tears. Crying in this case is also a manifestation of happiness. The man rejoices that he can be such a strong emotion that tears involuntarily arise.

Weaknesses of the stronger sex

In fact, the stronger sex does not have many weaknesses. Men really get used to not crying from childhood, that is, to hold back their tears, not showing them to anyone or even showing them. That is why there are much fewer situations when a man cries than there are reasons for women to cry.

Can men's tears be called weakness? In fact, if there is a reason for crying that touches the soul so much that the tears themselves burst out, then there can be no talk of weakness. Men also tend to cry, especially if emotions overwhelm them and they cannot hold back their tears.

The stronger sex shows weakness only when it starts crying for any reason. Often women use tears as manipulation. If a man resorts to the same behavior, then we can say that he is weak.

It should be understood that men are also weak simply because they are living beings. Any person cries, which helps him emotionally discharge. For men, this is useful in a situation where emotions of despair or joy are so overwhelming that it is impossible to restrain yourself. It’s better not to hide your tears, but to show them, so that emotions no longer put pressure on the psyche and prevent you from thinking soberly.

Here women are given one piece of advice: if a man cries, then you should show him the same compassion that you would like to see addressed to you when you feel bad.

Bottom line

Men cry too, although society has programmed them from childhood not to do this. But strength lies not in whether a man cries or not, but in whether he copes with his problems. Tears occur in men various reasons. If they provide emotional relaxation in the end, then they provide invaluable help.

Men's tears, or rather their absence, are a mystery. We will tell you what is behind the “stingy male tear”, which men cry more often and whether the stronger sex should hold back their tears.

"Men don't cry"

There is some truth to the statement: “men don’t cry.” A study by Tilburg University scientists showed that representatives of the stronger sex shed tears several times fewer women because of hormonal characteristics. Roughly speaking, two hormones fight for our tears: testosterone and the stress hormone prolactin, which act as antagonists. Testosterone, predominant in male body, suppresses stress hormones, and along with them reduces the need to cry. In women, the opposite is true - more prolactin, more tears.

This doesn't mean that men don't cry at all after puberty. It’s just that to shed a stingy tear you need a very compelling reason, which will cause a strong surge of stress hormones. As a Buzzfeed survey showed, men most often allow themselves emotional tears due to the death of loved ones. The reason for tears of happiness can be the birth of a child and... the victory of your favorite football team.

Every nation has its own tears

Cultural attitudes influence the number of male tears shed as much as testosterone. A study by Dutch scientists, in which representatives of 35 countries took part, showed that in more economically prosperous countries, people cry more often than in developing countries, where this is usually “not accepted.” Despite the fact that the latter should have much more reasons for tears.
The reasons for crying also vary depending on cultural norms and traditions. Thus, among Japanese samurai in the Middle Ages, it was customary to cry in the event of a tragedy; in the West, men’s tears are an indicator of sincerity and directness.

Abraham Lincoln constantly resorted to this technique during his speeches. Subsequently, other American presidents followed his example. In some cultures, tears are a common form of greeting. Some shake hands, some cry, writes tear specialist Dr. Winderhots in his study.

Age is a reason for tears

The level of testosterone, which suppresses stress hormones, decreases with age. Therefore, the older a man is, the more likely he is to burst into tears in public. I must say that giving yourself some slack is quite natural and even healthy. Tears not only bring emotional relief, but also lower blood pressure, protect the heart from heart attack, and reduce the risk cancer diseases, bring an analgesic effect and are an excellent prevention even against stomach ulcers! So our tears prolong life no worse than laughter, and maybe even better.

An alternative to tears

Tears “wash away stress” and bring emotional relief, which is necessary for anyone, even yourself. to a strong man. Therefore, a man who believes that shedding tears is inappropriate has to look for other ways to “let off steam.” One of these proven methods is “substitution of feelings.” A man can turn sadness into anger, and sensitivity into pride - emotions that are more “quoted” for the stronger sex.

Researcher Dr. Barbara Markway says the feeling of powerlessness that often leads to tears can be replaced by anger.

So, one of her patients almost maimed a young man who had previously offended his daughter. Until he turned to a psychologist because of this, the thirst for revenge did not leave him. Only by speaking out and crying a little, he was able to get rid of this “emotional baggage.”

If a person cannot express what is in his soul and keeps everything to himself, this will lead to health problems. At best, migraines. Probably, many people know men who experience headaches and back pain strictly on weekends or on vacation. According to scientists, this is all due to the fact that at work - in stressful situation, there is no time to think about yourself, but during rest, all the accumulated emotions float to the surface in the form of physical ailments.