home Auditorium 7 Social phobia: symptoms, treatment. How to get rid of social phobia yourself. Methods for independently combating social phobia

Social phobia: symptoms, treatment. How to get rid of social phobia yourself. Methods for independently combating social phobia

7 ways to overcome social anxiety on your own.

Tips for relieving symptoms of social anxiety.

“Meeting me was something terrible. Sue admitted this later. Social phobia differs from ordinary shyness in that it causes panic. Even just thinking about a meeting, the need to communicate, causes palpitations, sweating, dry mouth, a trembling voice, rapid breathing, flushing of the face, an upset stomach - it is not surprising that you will feel easier by avoiding other people. Sue, even seeing her family, colleagues, friends - people with whom she had met many times before, experienced this as the torture of the Inquisition. This is actually funny: “I’m fine when I’m doing work, or when everything is formal, within the framework of some rules, because I know what to talk about. But as soon as there's uncertainty - you know, just being around other people - it tears me apart. I need certainty about what I’m going to do or I’m starting to panic!” Social phobia greatly ruins life. It interferes with the joy of meetings and the opportunity to communicate with other people. Cripples self-awareness, unnerves or labels difficult character. Yes, most people are a little shy sometimes or feel a little shy around others, but social anxiety is nothing compared to that. After you get rid of social phobia, a door opens behind which there is a lot of good: a new, interesting job, meeting new people and, basically, enjoying life more. So how can you get rid of social anxiety?

These seven tips will help you feel more confident in your interactions with others and get you started on your journey from social anxiety to self-confidence.

1 Relax

Few people think about self-programming, but it is a possible thing. Recurrent, intense worry about upcoming social events is associated with anxiety. It's no wonder that when the event comes, you feel anxious. Self-programming occurs. You can change this tendency by thinking about your next meeting while you're relaxing - maybe in a warm bath, maybe in a comfortable chair. Imagine yourself calm and confident. Repeat this several times so that your body and mind create a new, better association.

2 Specifically look for situations that are socially phobic for you

Imagine that in the house where you have lived for 30 years, there is a room that you avoid entering. Don't come in at all. If you suddenly decide to go into it, you will probably feel scared. Why? Because the more we avoid something, the more our subconscious mind considers it a danger. Thus, your mind, while trying to be helpful, creates even more fear. In nature, we avoid going into the forest because there are terrible wolves and bears there. We avoid standing on the edge of a cliff because falling means death. We avoid what scares us, and we become afraid of what we avoid. Therefore, start actively living through your social phobic situations. In fact, even by replaying the situation in your head as if it were real, you will help your subconscious mind understand that “this is normal.”

Social phobes are focused on themselves, on their feelings. Research has shown that people who consider themselves shy are much less likely to remember the details that surround them. Because they are used to looking inward, not outward. Thus, it makes sense to focus on the external details of a social situation. For example,

♦ wall color
♦ any paintings on the walls and what is in these paintings
♦ what other people are wearing

This will help shift the focus from your internal sensations to what's around.

4 Ask questions

Social phobes worry about what other people think about them. So instead of focusing on yourself, focus on other people. Cultivate your curiosity. Ask people open-ended questions, ones that require a detailed answer, not “yes” or “no.” Remember certain points and return to them to show your interest in the interlocutor. This will also switch your attention from internal experiences to external events. As a result, you can increase the number of friends, quality by-product this strategy. And now, to overcome social anxiety, you stop doing harmful actions and begins to do useful things.

5 Stop beating yourself up

Imagination is a wonderful thing, when it comes down to it. If you use it constructively, it helps a lot. However, social phobics use their imagination to intimidate themselves. It's like using a hammer to wash dishes. Trying to imagine what people think about you is a huge disadvantage. Years of public speaking have taught me to stop judging what people think of me. So if you find yourself “mind reading”, tell yourself: “I really don’t know what this person or people are thinking about me right now.” And this is true in reality. We can influence other people's thoughts, but we cannot control them. And the less socially phobic you are, the less you care about people lying about you.

6 Positive

Your mind needs positive instructions. Instead of: “I hope I don’t feel terrible like I usually do” (which is actually a direct instruction on how to feel), ask yourself: How do I want to feel in what situations? And let this become your habitual question, your habitual thought. Ask yourself how you want to feel, focusing on when you felt comfortable with others (with friends, with just really close ones). Then you can direct your mind the way you need in social situations, using this experience as a template in the future.

To get this experience, take comfortable position, close your eyes and relax. Remember and feel again the state that you had when you were together with people you liked. Intensify these sensations as much as you can. Then transfer this feeling to situations where you are “not very happy” and again strengthen the state of comfort. This kind of mental training is very, very effective and can bring great benefits.

7 Be yourself

Part of treating social anxiety is teaching people to relax, to allow themselves to stop being perfect. This is the right direction: people who can afford to “be a little stupid” are much more socially confident. Not being a buffoon, but being willing to show your less successful side is a sign of greater confidence. For example, trying to make someone laugh has a chance of being met with an icy reception. Social anxiety makes you worry too much about looking perfect. And this deprives us of spontaneity, makes us unnatural, stilted. Typical thoughts about yourself:

♦ “I hope no one notices how tense I am.”
♦ “What if I say something stupid?”
♦ “What if they think I’m an idiot?”
♦ “Would anyone want to talk to me?”
♦ “Do I think I come across as a pervert?”

Worrying about “crossing your legs the wrong way” is a form of perfectionism. Perfectionism is great if you have surgery, but it’s terrible if you have a law in your head about which side of the sidewalk to walk on. This doesn't mean that confident people never act a little strange, or that they always succeed, or that they never worry. This means that such failures are not overly significant for them.

I compare overcoming social anxiety to scrubbing dirt off a valuable ornament. It will take some time, but soon the real beauty will arrive and everything will be as it should be.
Find out how to overcome social anxiety.

Psychosomatics. How are fears and phobias formed?

Hypnosis: a review of the treatment of public speaking anxiety & social phobia. Reviews of hypnoanalysis sessions.

Any person has to worry especially difficult situations related to communication. Increased anxiety when passing an exam, talking with a boss or an interview, in most cases this normal reaction for stress. However, there are people for whom any more or less responsible contact is associated with incredible experiences, fears and negative physical reactions of the body. How to overcome the cowardly little bunny in yourself and become stronger and more confident?

What is social phobia

The roots of the word are “socio” (society) and “phobos” (fear). Fear of people, communication, expressing oneself in the presence of others are unpleasant features of social phobia. As with most psychological disorders, the person is overcome irrational fears that have no reason. He becomes a hostage negative emotions in any contact with people. An inferior existence, due to the inability to solve problems and make the right decisions, drives you into an even greater abyss. nervous disorders which can cause chronic depression.

Scientists often characterize social phobia as a disease of missed opportunities, since attempts to shut down and escape from the outside world can lead to more complex psychological disorders. Try to admit to yourself that you suffer from this illness; it undermines your strength and health. By facing the truth, you will push yourself to fight the disease on your own while it is in your control.

Who is most susceptible to social phobia?

The main cause of social phobia is a person’s low self-esteem, due to which his self-doubt is so great that any need to express himself in public leads to a wild surge of adrenaline. Both genetic factors and improper parenting can play a role here.

Genes are to blame
You can’t argue with genetics, even character traits are inherited, but a person can change a lot. If you don’t want your life to turn into hell, and any trip to the store or to work seems like a feat, take care of your own state of mind. Physiological ailments that are inherited remain with them for life, but a person is capable of working on his consciousness, as a rational being.

Parents are not chosen
Most psychological disorders, including social phobia, have their roots in distant childhood. In fact, it is in early age The human personality is formed even before acquiring key knowledge about the nature of the world. Teachers define two extremes of incorrect, harmful education: excessive care and increased severity.

In the first case, when the child is not allowed to take even a step on his own, he turns into a spiritual invalid, unable to make the simplest decision without the support or prompting of his elders. Sometimes mothers are involved in offering food, leading by the hand and caring for their child until adolescence child. Having found himself in adult society, such a person looks around, but there is no staff, no railing, no signpost. Complete confusion turns into a desire to hide in a corner and not try to get out of there.

Strict upbringing has even more terrifying consequences. Some parents believe that if you constantly poke your son or daughter with their imperfections, you should never praise or talk kind words, they will raise a worthy and strong personality. Not so, a person who had to prove all his life that he is worthy of his father or mother, that he is capable of being the best, will never become the best. He will simply stop believing in himself, will look into everyone’s eyes in anticipation of encouragement, and all his life he will break and torment himself for his own apparent imperfection.

What is noteworthy is that people suffering from social phobia can become great and the first in any field, another matter is at what cost this is given to them.

Like all mental illnesses, social phobia has its own characteristic features and symptoms that make it possible to distinguish it from ordinary shyness or withdrawal. Introverts feel quite calm, both in society and without it, they just prefer lonely thoughts to arguing out loud.

Suspicion of social phobia arises from the following human reactions:

feelings of inferiority;
fear of speaking in public;
panic in public places large cluster of people;
fear of strangers;
shyness reaching the point of absurdity;
terrible resentment for any critical remarks;
desire to limit the space of existence.

The reasons lie in uncertainty and the constant expectation of praise from others. Only a good-natured attitude towards such people can melt the ice of their doubts and fears. It’s worse when any assessment is not perceived adequately. If a social phobe feels hypocrisy in any opinion of friends or colleagues, it means the disease has gone far, and it will be more difficult to cope with it. The mood of such a person deteriorates at the slightest remark, harsh words or a bad joke. His existence is “crystalline”; he suffers from the slightest touch.

It is well known that psychological disorders terrible for their influence on physical state human body. You can specify the following external signs attacks of fear or panic:

Why is social phobia dangerous?

A constant state of fear, anxiety and inferiority can lead to panic attacks, in which a person loses self-control. He may be afraid to leave the house, get into a crowded transport, the fear of society develops into a fear of closed (claustrophobia) or open (agarophobia) space.

Need to install as soon as possible accurate diagnosis in order to receive proper treatment in time, otherwise, to escape from problems, a social phobia may resort to using alcohol or drugs. In this case, a person’s inability to adapt to reality is further aggravated and work activity decreases.

The worst result could be chronic depression and incitement to suicide. Without psychiatrists and specialized clinics there is no way around this outcome.

At the stage of awareness of his problem, with skillful actions, a person is able to overcome this difficult illness. It is important to understand that thoughts guide our actions, and we have the power to control the judgments in our heads.

See the good in everything
Contrast the usual negativity with it reverse side, replace your opinions with the following:

Nobody loves me. – I am worthy of love and complicity.
I arouse the pity of others. – People treat me well.
I am an insignificant person. – It’s interesting to spend time with me.
I don't look pretty. – I have my own tastes and views on life.

More positive things, spoken not only mentally, but also out loud to yourself, then negative emotions will be driven into the far corner of your consciousness. Gradually you will believe in yourself and feel the beauty of life and the harmony of human communication.

Cultivate the speaker within you
Remember how at school you were afraid to go to the blackboard and recite a poem. Start small, try talking to your own reflection in the mirror. Imagine that your listener is there and try to convince him of something. Work with facial expressions, fantasize and convey your emotions in the most unpredictable way.

Control fears and be decisive
You can avoid the symptoms of fear, which include shaking and dizziness, by focusing your attention on deep breathing. Don’t think about anything at this moment, control your inhalations and exhalations, count them, then the body, with the help of additional oxygen, will calm down and return to normal.

Make a list of the most painful behavioral situations in society for you and gradually try to implement these actions. Even if this is not a process of one day or even a week, it is important to overcome every “horror story”. It will be very difficult at first, but over time you will begin to enjoy the perfect thing. Everyone has their own cockroaches in their head, but attempts can be something like this:

call an electrician;
go to a distant store yourself;
take the floor on the RAM;
call the customer back to clarify the list of works;
enroll in a club or sports section;
say hello to your neighbors.

Over time you will be throwing parties for friends at your home, it is important to believe in yourself.

Love yourself
Protect yourself from hysterical people, angry colleagues and a preoccupied boss, but not by hiding in a corner, but by creating a strong psychological barrier against unwanted stress. To do this, learn to ignore the opinion of a person who does not respect you. Everyone makes mistakes, and so do you. ideal people can not be. And those who constantly accuse others of inferiority or non-compliance with the norms known only to them deserve sympathy themselves.

A person who values his life should be a little proud; he should not allow strangers to oppress you morally. Love yourself and value your health, and let the spiteful critics look for fulfillment elsewhere.

Be simpler
There is, perhaps, the simplest and at the same time complex rule for a person free from complexes. It’s easy to go through life and perceive everything as an interesting fairy tale with a happy ending. You have been given existence and consciousness for such a short moment, lasting only a few decades, that it would be very offensive to waste this precious time on mental tossing.

Imagine yourself as a character who seems cheerful and carefree to you, try to be him in your reality, try to feel the lightness and freedom from the fact that you breathe and exist.

News healthy image life
Psychology and human physiology are closely interrelated. Just as your legs can suffer from a bad head, your psyche can be shaken by leading a careless lifestyle. People, especially prone to worries and anxieties, need to categorically rid themselves of overuse alcohol, nicotine and caffeine, as substances that stimulate increased positive and negative emotions.

Medical assistance
If you still cannot cope with the manifestations of social phobia on your own and consult a doctor, remember that effective treatment can be a great start on the path to improving your mental health. Sometimes just a few conversations with a psychologist are enough to find your worthy place in society. In some cases, the attention of a psychotherapist or psychiatrist will be needed.

Medical care includes the use special drugs, among which:

mild antidepressants;
blockers;
serious medications that suppress the psyche.

Cognitive behavioral therapy, which includes working directly with your anxious thoughts, development of communication skills, combating isolation and alienation.

Remember the main thing, social phobia is not incurable disease. She is just an unpleasant nuisance preventing you from being a full-fledged person. Love yourself, know how to admit your own problems, look fear in the eye and don’t look away. You have been given the intelligence to overcome any adversity.

Video: how to get rid of social anxiety

Anyone experiences some anxiety when going through an interview or doing an important job. phone call. However, there are people who are horrified by having to face such situations. Often, social phobes are afraid of even minor contacts with others: a conversation at the checkout counter in a supermarket, discussing a topic in a university classroom, communicating with an online store manager about an order. Fear of people significantly worsens the quality of life. How to get rid of social phobia?

How to recognize social phobia in yourself

An uncommunicative and withdrawn person is not necessarily a social phobe: an introvert can easily get along without people, but if necessary, he can establish business or friendly contacts. The following signs indicate the presence of social phobia:

fear of public speaking;
fear of encountering new situations and people;
reluctance to be the center of attention;
feeling severe discomfort in public places;
inability to accept even constructive and well-meaning criticism;
distrust of others;
feelings of inferiority;
excessive shyness;
the desire to do everything possible not to leave the comfort zone.

A characteristic feature of a social phobia is his constant desire to compare himself with others. All people seem smarter, more beautiful, cheerful, and brave to him. The self-esteem of a social phobia directly depends on the judgments of others. The situation is aggravated by the fact that a person with a similar disorder perceives even a friendly attitude towards himself as flattery, ridicule or hypocrisy.

The day seems healthy people ordinary, but for a social phobe it is full of horrors: they were rude on the bus, they didn’t give you enough change in the store, the secretary from the next department reproached you for being slow, etc. The social phobe is so internally clamped and intimidated that he cannot answer or insist on his own. Instead, he feels powerless and monstrous humiliation, once again becoming convinced of his own inadequacy.

The body of a social phobe reacts very quickly to stressful situations. The main vegetative signs include:

Sometimes a person’s psyche cannot withstand the stress, which leads to panic attacks. These are painful states of anxiety and strong fear, accompanied by pronounced above-mentioned vegetative signs.

Social phobia: how to get rid of it yourself

Come up with positive attitudes

All problems are located exclusively in a person’s head. A sociophobe has acquired social fear because the following destructive attitudes predominate in his thoughts:

I am unworthy of love;
They communicate with me only out of pity;
I look stupid, no matter how nicely I try to dress;
I have no place among these interesting people;
all people understand how boring and stupid I am.

Replacing negative attitudes with positive ones may take some time, but it is the easiest way to get rid of social anxiety. You need to think through your ideal image and express it in words:

I am an interesting conversationalist and a good speaker;
I am who I am;
I am worthy of love and understanding;
I forgive myself for my mistakes;
I achieve my goals, etc.

Attitudes can be anything: the main thing is that they are friendly to oneself. They need to be repeated as often as possible, mentally or out loud. Gradually, inner confidence will appear, and communication with the outside world will become much easier and more pleasant.

Take control of fear

The body can be taught not to be influenced by the emotions of fear. For example, before answering an exam, a person begins to feel that his hands are shaking, his knees are buckling, and his face is turning red. The stronger they appear autonomic symptoms, the worse the situation will seem. Therefore, at the first sign of panic, you should do a few deep breaths and exhalations. Breathing should be as conscious and focused as possible. The body will calm down, the mind will clear and fear will decrease.

Train

recite poetry in full voice;
make faces in front of the mirror;
make solemn speeches to yourself;
say hello and goodbye to all cashiers, salespeople, doctors;
read books aloud;
tell the cat how your day went, etc.

The fact is that for a person who speaks little, silence becomes a habit. And when it is necessary to say something out loud, the social phobe seems to forget how to do it. As a result, he stumbles and gets lost, which only increases self-doubt.

Particularly desperate social phobes go for broke. They begin to sing loudly in the subway, dance in the streets, and obsessively flirt with passers-by. They say that over time, all embarrassment and fear of condemnation disappear.

Take a risk

The easiest way is to refuse the offer new job, a trip abroad or a romantic date. Home is safe, but not interesting. You should understand that the devil is not as scary as he is painted, and begin to expand your comfort zone. To do this, you need to make a list of unpleasant situations: from the least scary to the most terrifying. For example:

Call the hospital reception.
Going shopping for clothes on your own.
Lunch at a cafe.
A question to a random passer-by about how to get to the library.
Sign up for the gym.
Smile at a nice stranger.
Calling a colleague to clarify some work point.
Speech at a meeting.
Attending a crowded party.
Meeting with a friend via Internet correspondence.
Independent trip to a neighboring city, etc.

It is necessary to allocate a certain period of time for each item, during which it is necessary to bring the situation to life. Don't force yourself if something seems too scary: gradualism is the key to success. However, indulgences should not be abused either.

It doesn’t matter how successful the planned “feat” is: the main thing is to decide to do it. Even if something didn’t work out, you should take it as an experience, and not as a reason for self-flagellation.

Live life playfully

Life is not as serious a thing as people think. It is comparable to theatrical stages or computer game. And your “character” can be assigned a different role.

You should imagine yourself as anyone famous person and act like him. For the first time you should not choose the exuberant Courtney Love, but the sweet Princess Diana is quite suitable. The main thing is to get used to the character and feel like a self-confident celebrity. Then you're not afraid public performance, no conflicts, no new acquaintances.

Accept yourself

The people around you are imperfect, so you need to recognize your right sometimes:

to do wrong;
to chicken out;
not to please someone;
fail to cope with the task.

Perhaps there will be someone who will give the social phobia a huge scandal about a disrupted meeting or an unfinished project. But there is no need to take this aggression as a reproach to one’s own personality: random mistakes do not make a person worse.

There is no need to please everyone. After all, a social phobia person is also not attracted to everyone around him. Having realized this fact, you can communicate only with people who are pleasant to your heart, ignoring hysterical neighbors and nervous colleagues. It is enough to limit yourself to the norms of politeness.

Change your lifestyle

IN healthy body – healthy mind. People don't even realize how much they emotional condition depends on physical health. Therefore, you should impose restrictions on:

caffeine;
alcohol;
nicotine.

Coffee, tea, energy drinks, alcoholic drinks, and cigarettes have a stimulating effect on the psyche, increasing anxiety.

It is also important to comply normal mode work and rest. A sleep-deprived person cannot collect his thoughts, and is also inclined to feel anxious about any reason.

Treatment of social phobia with the help of a doctor

Who to contact

In some cases, social phobia takes severe form and it is very difficult to cope with it on your own. Then it makes sense to turn to specialists: a psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist. What is the difference between them?

a psychologist is not a doctor. He advises, helps change behavior and attitude, but cannot prescribe any medications or make official diagnoses;
a psychiatrist works with mentally ill people. He has the right to make a diagnosis and prescribe medications. If a psychiatrist considers a person dangerous to others, then he is authorized to make a decision on compulsory hospitalization;
a psychotherapist is both a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. He has the right to treat patients with any disorder and prescribe any medication.

It is better for a social phobe to go to a psychotherapist. After all, the disorder may require both behavioral adjustments and medication treatment.

Types of treatment

Treatment of social phobia includes two areas:

1. Taking medications. Usually prescribed:

antidepressants (Fluoxetine, Sertraline, Citalopram);
beta blockers (Propranolol);
benzodiazepines (Diazepam, Lorazepam, Clonazepam).

2. Cognitive behavioral therapy. It consists in:

working with anxious thoughts;
acquiring or improving communication skills;
overcoming alienation.

Treatment may include either one of the directions, or both at once. But judging by patient reviews medical supplies do not get rid of social phobia: they simply suppress fear, and with it all other emotions.

Social phobia is not a death sentence. You just need to pull yourself together and come forward own life. The world is not as scary as it seems from the window of the house.

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Some people have serious problems communicating with those they associate with feelings of anxiety or fear. If you are experiencing this problem, you may have social anxiety disorder, also known as social anxiety disorder. anxiety disorder. Check out the points below to help you cope better with your daily interactions with others.

Steps

Confront social anxiety disorder

Fight negative thoughts. Social anxiety disorder can cause you to have negative thoughts about yourself when you are in a certain social situation. You may think, "I'll look like an idiot" or "I'll have to humiliate myself." The first step to overcoming such thoughts is to recognize them as soon as they occur to you. Knowing the causes of your social phobia, you can cope with it.

Stop yourself when such thoughts begin to occur to you and say: “No, I don’t look like a fool. I'm strong and competent, I can handle this."

Social phobia– fear of society and communication. She is also called "disease of missed opportunities" due to the fact that personal self-realization and the possibility of success in different areas of life directly depend on the ability to contact, interact, and communicate with other people. How to get rid of social phobia on your own and what to do if working on yourself is unsuccessful?

Social phobia– a type of anxiety-phobic disorder, an irrational and strong fear of performing social actions, that is, actions performed in the presence of other people, including the fear of communication.

A person suffering from social phobia is afraid of anything social situation, in which he appears in plain sight:

Just from the description of possible objects social phobia, you can assume it in yourself. However, this phobia is often confused with introversion, shyness, modesty, and simple lack of self-confidence. For example, many people are afraid to speak in public, but not all of them are social phobics!

There is no need to rush to diagnose yourself with social phobia! Perhaps the problem is something else. In order not to guess on the coffee grounds, it is better to spend social phobia test, developed by M. Leibovich, an American psychiatrist, thanks to whom such a problem as social phobia began to be studied. Test "Leibovich Scale" developed back in 1987, but is still the best in primary diagnosis social phobia.

Symptoms of social phobia

How else, except by fear of society and public actions, can one recognize social phobia? She has a row symptoms which are observed during an attack of fear and after it:

Physiological: chest pain, abdominal pain, headache, nausea, muscle weakness combined with tension separate groups muscles, tachycardia, shortness of breath and others. Outwardly, the person’s face changes, turns pale, the pupils dilate, trembling begins, and increased sweating is observed. This is a standard reaction in situations of severe fear or phobia.
Emotional: strong all-encompassing fear, anxiety, apprehension, irritability, premonition of trouble, “déjà vu” effect.
Cognitive (mental): impaired concentration, confusion, feeling of an “empty head”; it is very difficult to think, painful memories associated with fear come to mind.
Behavioral: restlessness in movements, bustle, as if speaking for a person: “I want to escape from here!” or, on the contrary, immobility, stupor; intermittent speech, stuttering, slips of the tongue, the inability to say anything or the inability to stop one’s speech, which is more like delirium; fatigue, as if having to do hard physical work.

In general, the behavior of a person with social phobia is avoidant. In order not to experience terrible fear and anxiety, a person simply stops contacting society, becomes an unsociable homebody, avoids new acquaintances and communication with familiar people, is afraid of holidays, small companies and the crowds stop visiting public places(many people with social anxiety cannot even use a public toilet).

It is not difficult to guess that voluntary insulation, exclusion from society and forced loneliness spoil a person’s life, make him a recluse, limit the possibilities of self-realization and personal development.

Except panic attacks, depression, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and other bad habits and addictions, post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as other phobias (agoraphobia, claustrophobia, etc.).

Causes of social phobia

Experts (psychologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists) call the two main causes of social phobia genetic factor(social phobia can be inherited) and factor improper upbringing.

Sometimes it is very difficult to independently understand, for example, serious childhood psychotrauma or to understand that parents, exemplary role model and ideal, have become the cause of a problem called social phobia. But you have to try to do it!

To independently get to the bottom of the causes of social phobia, you need analyze your childhood and remember:

Did your parents themselves suffer from social anxiety?
Weren't they too caring, nurturing and protective?
Were they too strict, critical, demanding to be perfect?

At the root of social phobia - fear of negative evaluation from others and expectation, setting to get exactly this assessment. A child, whom his parents often condemned with just one stern look, may grow up and begin to unjustifiably think about everyone: “These people look at me condemningly! Yes, they clearly don’t like me...”

The problem of social phobia may be hidden not in too strict or on the contrary protective upbringing, and not in the genetic factor of inheritance, but in some one, but very strong traumatic situation that happened in the past.

It’s worth thinking and remembering, wasn’t there some kind of situation in childhood when you wanted to fall into the ground in public, when something went wrong and everyone around you started laughing, and then they made fun of you for a long time, humiliating and insulting you?

Sometimes social phobia is developed as a result of mobbing, prolonged psychological bullying (read more about mobbing in the articles and) and even as a result of prolonged observation from the outside, associated with sympathy for the victim of mobbing.

You can begin to fear society and communication if you happen to observe a single case of a traumatic situation in public in the life of another, even a stranger.

How to get rid of social phobia yourself in 5 steps

Recognized as the best therapy for social phobia cognitive behavioral psychotherapy, specialists also use hypnosuggestive psychotherapy and drug treatment antidepressants. But social phobia can be cured and on one's own. Of course, you will have to try and:

Recognize the problem. Very often, social phobes do not see their problem and do not understand that they limit themselves, their capabilities and chances of fulfillment in different areas of life when they avoid dangerous situations, thereby only worsening the phobia. The world seems to them cruel and unfair, and people are angry and aggressive. Yes, people are different, but this is not a reason to hide from the whole world and not overcome your fear. Without contacting others, a person deprives himself of such important relationships for happiness as partnership, friendship, and love.
Find the cause of social phobia. Awareness of the reason will open your eyes to the exaggeration of fear, to its irrationality. What happened in the past, that traumatic situation or a whole painful period in life, remained there in the past. They will not happen again; there is no need to imagine future situations similar to what happened in the past.

Most social phobes note that they began to be afraid of people in childhood, but childhood has already passed! It's time to get rid of thinking errors, stereotypes, that part of your inner Critic that is copied from the incorrect behavior of your parents!

As a result of understanding the cause of social phobia, the attitude towards this problem must change and a decision must be made Avoid avoiding scary situations anymore.

Since social phobia refers to problems with communication and social interaction, it would be good to acquire effective communication skills and master public speaking.

Learn to control yourself during attacks of fear. You will have to “make friends” with your body, learn to stop the physiological reactions that push you to escape from the object of your phobia. There are many techniques for this. The simplest of them is deep and even breathing.
Change behavior. Need to learn go into fear rather than running away from it. Of course, you shouldn’t make your program the maximum; it’s enough to start small. Gradually increasing contact with society and entering into communication with people, you can discover that there is nothing terrible in this, that people react differently than the imagination, guided by fear, imagined.

For example, if you are afraid of giving a speech in front of an audience, it is better to start by speaking in front of a mirror, when the only spectator is your own reflection, then invite one or two close people and speak in front of them, then practice giving a speech several times in the room where a performance is expected, imagining that the audience is already in place.

If independent work over yourself does not bring results, you should not hesitate to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist about your problem.