home Audience 12 Phobias that prevent us from living. How to get rid of obsessive fear. Treatment of phobia

Phobias that prevent us from living. How to get rid of obsessive fear. Treatment of phobia

It is possible to cope with a phobia on your own, but it is better to consult a psychotherapist. The main thing is not to let this process take its course and not try to avoid solving the problem. In order to overcome your fear, you should realize that in most cases all phobias are groundless and meaningless. It is important to learn to believe in yourself and your strengths, to lead a healthy and active image life. In order to think less about the phobia, you should devote a lot of time to your favorite activity, hobby.

You can try to face your fear. However, not everyone will be able to overcome themselves and take advantage of this radical method. During an attack panic attack you should breathe correctly, be able to relax the muscles of your face and body, and think about positive things. To get rid of fears, you should not resort to drinking alcohol, drugs or coffee, as this will only lead to stimulation of the nervous system.

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General concept of pathology

Obsessive fears are distinguished by the fact that a person understands the meaninglessness of the phobia, but continues to be afraid. This phenomenon most often occurs in childhood and can haunt a person all his life.

There are several hundred obsessive fears. Among them are fears of heights, society, spiders, closed spaces, illnesses, intimate relationships, communication, and others. Such phobias are often uncontrollable and bring a lot of problems to a person, as it interferes with establishing a personal life, getting a job, or communicating with friends and family.

Phobias can be classified based on the situation, the specific object, age, symptoms, and gender of the person. Today, scientists distinguish 4 groups of main phobias:

1. Zoophobias are fears that are associated with flora and fauna.
2. Social phobias involve fear of everything that a person encounters every day.
3. Agoraphobia - fear open space. These could be doors, windows.
4. Fears that cannot be classified into the previous categories. These include health-related phobias, fear of the dark, fear of confined spaces, and many others.

Signs of obsessive fears

Phobias can be easily recognized by the following symptoms:

Feeling of difficulty breathing, throat spasm.
High heart rate.
Feeling of weakness, faintness.
Numbness of the whole body.
Feeling of horror, intense fear.
Tremor throughout the body.
Vomiting, indigestion.
The body “does not listen” to a person.
The person feels as if he is “going crazy.”

We can talk about the presence of a phobia if at least 4 of the listed signs of obsessive fears are present.

Men's fears

IN modern world There is an opinion that men are not prone to excessive worries, and they are practically not afraid of anything. However, this point of view is erroneous, since representatives of the stronger half of humanity also have many fears that men try to overcome:

1. The most common phobia of men is the fear of loneliness. They are afraid of losing their soulmate, being left alone, abandoned and unwanted. However, most men will never admit it because they don’t want to look pathetic.
2. Fear of new relationships. Unlike women, who can easily plunge into new feelings, men try to hide their emotions, experiences and tears. They try to control themselves so as not to fall in love again and not lose their priceless freedom.
3. Fear of looking feminine, as men associate this with weak character, obedience and humility. If he has at least once noticed feminine traits in his character or behavior, this fear will always be present in the man’s mind.
4. Fear of the subordinate. Many men like to gossip about henpeckedness. If a young man notices that his friend is completely submissive to his other half, this will cause a storm of protest. Therefore, men do everything possible to avoid being in such a situation by showing their most masculine traits.
5. Fear of failure. Every man wants to achieve material well-being and financial independence. Therefore, if he realizes that he has failed in something, he immediately counts himself among the ranks of losers. The positive side of this fear is that this phobia forces men to become stronger, to reach new heights, overcoming difficulties and obstacles.

It is difficult for a man to overcome fear on his own, no matter what it is associated with. He will need outside help. However, he must understand that all fears are based on subjective factors and characteristics of the man himself.

Most male phobias were formed in childhood or adolescence. For example, if a young man has been rejected by women several times, then this fear will remain with him for the rest of his life. If you are afraid of meeting the opposite sex, you must immediately warn the girl about this. In most cases, such sincerity in a man’s behavior disarms the ladies. He can meet girls as much as necessary until he begins to feel comfortable in the company of a lady. An intelligent and tactful woman will help in this case. It all depends on the willpower and character of the man. After all, in order to overcome their fear, some people need delicate treatment, while others need a tougher approach.

Often, men get rid of fears with the help of alcohol. This is one of the biggest mistakes, since under the influence of alcohol you can only worsen the situation. In order to overcome your fears, you can use other methods, for example, hobbies, hobbies. Active recreation, visiting clubs, going to the cinema will help you cope with the problem. They can help you recharge yourself with positivity and strengthen your spirit. physical exercise. It is better to give preference to such active sports as tennis, football, kickboxing.

Women's phobias

The difference between typical female phobias and male ones is that they are not associated specifically with one subject, but represent a whole series of interrelated fears

Left alone

This is due to the fact that a woman is afraid of not getting married and being a girl for too long. Married women they fear adultery and being abandoned by a man, even if this is not the case serious reasons. Gradually, this thought becomes obsessive and develops into a serious phobia, and depression develops. The reason for the appearance of such fears is a woman’s inferiority complex, self-doubt and low self-esteem.

The fight against this type of fear must begin with self-love. We must believe that every person deserves a good life and respectful treatment.

Lose beauty, old age

This phobia is inherent in successful and self-confident women. However, over time, they begin to think that time moves inexorably forward. The best solution to combat this fear will not be expensive plastic surgery and creams, and a healthy lifestyle, balanced nutrition, exercise active species sports and positive thinking.

Old age phobia most often begins to manifest itself in women over the age of 50 and is associated with her place in society and family. This may include them misreporting their age in social networks, questionnaires. Another option for the manifestation of a phobia is that a woman begins to dress inappropriately for her age, while she looks ridiculous and funny. Women do not want to retire or take care of their grandchildren, citing their public employment. Correction of this phobia must begin with awareness of one’s self. You need to learn to realize and accept your age, along with its positive and negative qualities, to know the value of your years.

Completeness

Fear of obesity can be quite dangerous consequences. Trying to look like the models on glossy magazine covers, women go on radical diets, which leads to anorexia and disruption of the functioning of all organs and systems.

To get rid of this phobia, you should realize the value of your health. Instead of fasting, you can start following a balanced diet and active method life. This will help you maintain your weight.

Before birth

Fear of motherhood, which includes fear of childbirth and pregnancy. A woman has a fear of childbirth, she is afraid of pain and death. This phobia is typical for women with an inferiority complex. Negative point this fear is that it is accompanied by disruptions autonomic system, has a detrimental effect on the process of conception, pregnancy and childbirth.

Concerns about the child are an integral part of maternal care. But we must not allow natural feelings to develop into a phobia, which can affect the state of a woman’s nervous system. You need to realize that childbirth lasts only a few hours, this is negligible compared to whole life ahead. Modern medicine can ensure a relatively comfortable birth (with the use of epidural anesthesia) and guarantee 99% that everything will be fine with the woman. The main thing is to call an ambulance in time at the first contractions. You need to read fewer stories on the Internet and stay positive, since every birth is different. If your friends or sisters had them severely, painfully and lasted for days, this does not mean that it will be the same for you. There are many counter examples.

Insects, amphibians

The reason for the appearance of such fear lies in childhood. In order to get rid of obsessive fear insects, spiders and snakes, you need to look fear in the eye: pick it up, touch it.

Driving a car

The fear of driving a car is due to the fact that a woman is afraid of getting into an accident, damaging the car, breaking the rules traffic or be ridiculed by other road users. This fear does not require special correction. Fear of the road and cars goes away on its own after a woman gains driving experience over time. You can improve your skills on training grounds or not very busy roads.

Public opinion and condemnation by other people

Fear occurs most often in women with complexes and lack of self-confidence. In order to get rid of it, you should set clear priorities for yourself, realize that your own happiness does not depend on the opinions of the people around you.

Types of phobias and methods of getting rid of them

Anyone can have one or more phobias, which affects their character, behavior and attitude towards certain things.

Type of phobia	How to get rid of it?
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. Manifests itself in attacks panic fear while in a closed space. It could be an elevator, a car. This group of fears includes fear of crowds	You need to try to communicate more with people who have already overcome fear. You should not avoid crowded places and cramped spaces, since it is impossible to get rid of this fear in absentia. If an attack of fear occurs in an elevator, then by force of will you need to concentrate your attention on some object, for example, buttons
Gerontophobia - fear of one's own aging and fear of communicating with older people	Doctors say that people who have their own point of view, who are difficult to anger, and who do not succumb to a melancholy mood, look good and retain their youth longer. Should be replaced bad habits useful, think positively
Trypanophobia - fear of needles, syringes, injections, which is caused by poor quality medical care, careless attitude of doctors towards their patients	To avoid a panic attack, you don’t have to watch the health worker perform the manipulation. You should distract yourself with something, for example, listen to music, watch an interesting video
Aerophobia - fear of flying in an airplane	You should fly as often as possible. Every successful landing will leave a trace in the subconscious that flying an airplane is safe. You need to buy tickets from a company that has a good reputation. When purchasing a ticket, you should choose the middle row away from the window. You should not drink coffee before takeoff. Better eat a mint candy
Dentophobia is the fear of visiting the dentist. People suffering from this phobia go to the dentist in extremely rare cases.	In order to alleviate the patient’s condition, dentists recommend performing all procedures under sedation. Before visiting the dentist, you need to think about what modern medicine owns big amount new painkillers. You can chat with loved ones who recently visited the dentist and nothing happened to them. We must remember that even the most strong pain a person's memory is erased after 3 hours
Insectophobia - fear of insects, especially ants and bees	When encountering an insect, you need to breathe deeply, try to relax and even smile. You can develop a program for yourself that will help you get rid of this phobia in a few months. To do this, you first need to learn to stay in the same room with the insect for up to 3 minutes. Then don’t be afraid to approach at a distance of 2–3 meters. After this, you need to overcome your fear and not be afraid to watch the insect for 1 minute. You must learn to cover the animal with a can or bucket tied to a long stick
Herpetophobia is the fear of reptiles. This fear is not uncommon. It is mainly associated with lizards and snakes	The best method of getting rid of this phobia is hypnotherapy. In order to cope with fear, you should learn as much interesting information as possible and read about reptiles
Agraphobia is a phobia of sexual harassment. Signs of this fear are rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, dry mouth, increased anxiety	If the fear of sexual harassment prevents you from living and communicating normally with the opposite sex, then treatment with qualified specialists. Methods such as suggestion, conversation, hypnosis are used in the therapy process.
Autophobia is a pathological fear of loneliness. A feeling of fear arises in situations when a person is left alone and tries to occupy himself with something, but it is to no avail.	You should realize that it is impossible to be in communication with people all the time. Loneliness is a completely normal phenomenon. You need to find something to do that won't give you the opportunity to be sad. It could be a new job, a hobby, a passion, a pet.
Agoraphobia is the fear of open space. These can be large areas, deserted streets	You should relax, close your eyes and imagine how a person comes home and crosses the threshold of the house, continuing to move around the apartment with slow steps. If at any stage there is a feeling of discomfort, you should start the journey over. You should understand where the “anchor point” is, what forces a person to be at home. The size of the point should not be more than 1 cm. When a person discovers this place and feels comfortable there, he should move further until the fact is realized that the comfort zone is created only by the person himself and no one else
Algophobia - fear of pain. The reason for the development of this phobia is pain previously experienced in an unpleasant situation, for example, in a fight.	You should do auto-training 3 times a week, study relaxation techniques such as yoga, acupressure, tai chi. During a panic attack, what should you do? deep breaths and exhale with your stomach
Spectrophobia - fear of mirrors and one's reflection	You should overcome yourself and stand in front of the mirror during the day and start talking pleasant words yourself, the room, the mirror. You can invite someone close to you to help

You cannot wait until the process becomes more severe. If you miss the moment when fear begins to develop, then later it will be impossible to overcome it on your own.

Look at environment and living life from a positive perspective. If you imagine an unpleasant future, the situation will only get worse.
Meet your phobia eye to eye. The method is quite radical and quite effective. Although not everyone can dare to do this.
Ability to relax during a panic attack. You can start talking loudly, singing, laughing.
Breathe correctly. Convulsive sobs and sighs will not help in any way to overcome an attack of panic fear. Breathing should be calm, even, deep and rhythmic.
Complete relaxation of the muscles of the body and face will help you calm down faster.
You should not use drugs, alcohol or coffee to overcome your phobia. This will only worsen the situation, since these methods have a stimulating effect on the human nervous system.

Special techniques for dealing with fears

There are many special psychological techniques that will help you overcome fear on your own.

1. Face-to-face technique.

This technique should be practiced twice every day. For 10 minutes you should think only about your fear, bringing yourself to the point of starting a panic attack. Its paradox lies in the fact that in order to get rid of fear, one must experience severe emotional discomfort. After a few minutes, the person begins to realize that there is no danger. You just need to calmly repeat those thoughts that caused anxiety before. This state must be maintained throughout the entire 10 minutes, otherwise everything will be useless.

This technique is based on the ability of the nervous system to quickly recover and stabilize after a strong emotional shock. After just a few days of using this technique, a person notices that he simply has nothing to fill these 10 minutes with. He will begin to get bored as the feeling of fear begins to gradually disappear. The body’s stress system will no longer react violently every time to the appearance of a stimulus.

2. Technique for writing down your fears.

In order to overcome obsessive fear, you can try the technique of writing down your phobia. It consists of writing down verbatim throughout the day all your thoughts that arise about fear from the moment the worry begins until it ends. You shouldn't try to write everything down in nice sentences. You can simply word for word as a stenographer at a meeting.

The essence of this method is that when fear passes from a person’s consciousness to paper, it materializes, acquires features and, as a result, looks primitive and meaningless. After a while, it will become uninteresting to write the same words, and the fear will gradually go away.

3. The technique of singing your phobias.

Good for getting rid of obsessive thoughts fear singing technique. You need to sing exactly as they appear in your head. If a person sings, then he simply physically cannot remain in under stress. You need to choose a short phrase and sing it to a simple tune for several minutes. As soon as the negative feelings begin to disappear, you need to immediately switch your attention to something else.

4. Technique for changing the picture in your head.

This technique works well in cases where a person cannot express his feelings in words, since they are only a picture that appears in his head. At the moment fear appears, you need to imagine a picture completely opposite to your phobia. For example, if a person suffers from claustrophobia, then you need to immediately imagine yourself in a large open field. If a person is afraid of some kind of disease, one must imagine oneself happy and healthy.

There is no need to be afraid to seek help from a specialist. It is necessary to distinguish between a psychotherapist - a doctor who deals with mild mental disorders, for example, phobias, and a psychiatrist who treats severe illnesses, for example, schizophrenia, and who can register the patient. Seeing a psychotherapist has no consequences. The doctor will not prescribe serious drugs, but will help you cope with the phobia through conversation, suggestion, and hypnosis.

Fear... You don't know how, when and why it took over your consciousness. Since then your life has become painful. You can't free your mind from negative thoughts, fear follows you everywhere. He lives in you, in your head. He is always with you. You would like more than anything to forget about him, but you don’t know how to get rid of the feeling of fear and anxiety for yourself or someone close to you, how to get rid of the constant panic fear in anticipation of something terrible. You are tense, tormented, exhausted...

And those nightmarish obsessive thoughts that create pictures in your imagination that scare you more than anything else? From these thoughts it appears on the body cold sweat, you're ready to pass out. It's better to die than think about it. But thought is material, you remember this and are ready to kill yourself so that your terrible thoughts do not materialize, so that this nightmare from your head does not bring anyone real harm. You resist these thoughts with all the strength of your consciousness, conduct meditations to get rid of fear - no, you won’t think about it, you won’t allow yourself! But from this you only enter colossal tension, unpleasant, painful - even your body begins to ache from this mental intensity. And your terrible obsessive thoughts - they creep into your consciousness with even greater force. How to get rid of bad obsessive thoughts and fears? After all, there must be some way, it can’t be that there isn’t!

How to get rid of fear of people, men, the dark, dogs... Fear comes in all forms

You know well what fear is - it is your longtime companion. He has been with you since childhood. Fear of the dark, chilling a child's soul. Fear of losing parents, fear of death. It's so scary to know from childhood that death exists and you have to die. Excruciatingly scary. You're so used to fear that it feels like it's part of you. Therefore, you have no idea how you can get rid of inner fear and uncertainty forever.

But what is happening now is unbearable! You can't live like that...

Yes, fear has always been with you, it only changed its appearance. Or didn't change it. The main thing for him is to live in your head under any pretext. You may be afraid of heights, water, snakes, insects, dogs - he doesn’t care by and large. You may seem funny to other people when you are afraid of germs in your public transport. And it’s not funny for you - there are so many diseases in the world that you can get infected with! And be sick for a long time, and die painfully... You don’t know how to get rid of worries and fears in life, so you follow their lead. Don’t touch the handrails on the minibus; carry antibacterial wipes with you. You wash your hands a thousand times a day.

By the way, about diseases. Who can tell me how to get rid of the fear of getting sick? Sometimes you feel like you're sick. This has happened often in your life. You carefully monitor your body, your health... And suddenly you see that something has changed. You look for information about this on the Internet and find confirmation: yes, you are sick. Seriously. Looks like your song is over. How terrible it is to get sick in such early age! You are only 20 (30, 40, 50...). Become disabled, lose your health, and even worse - die after a difficult struggle for life. And how afraid you are of pain, torment, of everything that has to be experienced - you are afraid to the point of pain in your heart. To tears. You can't sleep at night, you're so afraid.

You have already prepared for the worst, bought everything you need to take with you to the hospital and... the doctors did not confirm your diagnosis. They didn't find anything. You can’t believe it and go to other doctors! But even there they tell you that you are completely healthy! You cry with happiness, because you won’t die or become disabled! But... what was that? Hypochondria is one of the faces of your old friend FEAR. I would like to understand how to get rid of the fear of illness and pain, and what diseases there are - how to get rid of all fears...

A painful question: how to get rid of fears and complexes?

No matter what happens in your life, fear always makes its own adjustments. Even wonderful events are overshadowed by fear. For example, you are afraid of losing something. Something or someone.

If you are in love, and even mutually, and even happy, this happiness does not last long. Fear drags into your consciousness the thought that your loved one may stop loving you, abandon you, or cheat on you with someone else. Your fear helpfully paints pictures in your imagination, painful pictures of betrayal. There she (he) is with someone else, and it seems to you that in fact her (his) behavior is suspicious. She (he) pays little attention to you, but at least less than before. Stopped loving (fell out of love)? You are tormented by jealousy, suspicion, and fear of abandonment. You throw up scenes of jealousy, sort things out, and your beloved (beloved) looks at you with round eyes in surprise and says that you have no reason to be jealous.

You see that you yourself, with your own hands, are gradually destroying your wonderful relationship, making it painful and painful. You are destroying your great love. And it’s always like this: first you don’t know how to get rid of the fear of approach, then - how to get rid of the fear of betrayal, and there is no end to this... Fear always guides you, lives with you, screams at you, makes you hysterical, is jealous of you...

Fear prevents you from living. It brings suffering to you and your loved ones. Get rid of fear! Make him leave your consciousness forever. Because it's possible.

System-vector psychology. How to get rid of fear and phobias

So, what is the technique for getting rid of fear?

Systemic psychoanalysis by Yuri Burlan helps to get rid of fears guaranteed and forever. Many people have already used this method and received excellent and sustainable result, got rid of a variety of bad conditions, including phobias, obsessive fears, panic attacks.

How it works?

Systemic-vector psychology is the science of vectors, innate desires and mental properties for their implementation, which are indicated on the human body by erogenous zones. If a person is not aware of his true, innate desires, he will not realize them. Then the vectors (that is, the psychic hidden in the unconscious) are not filled, and the person experiences bad states.

You can try systemic psychoanalysis in action completely free of charge at the introductory online lectures “System-vector psychology”. To register for the training, go to.

Proofreader: Galina Rzhannikova

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»

Intrusive thoughts are disturbing images and ideas that are difficult to control. Causes a person to have a painful feeling in which he does obsessive actions. Obsessive thoughts have an impact on the psychological and mental state, causing a feeling of fear. Very often they are the result of negative emotions deposited in the subconscious.

Manifestation of obsessive thoughts

Obsessive thoughts arise against a person’s will. They don’t get out of their heads, a person stops noticing what’s happening around them. Usually their occurrence is associated with fears, resentments or doubts. The basis of obsessive thoughts is emotions.

For example, a person took out a loan, but there is no money to repay it. A common person would start looking for ideas for a part-time job, but someone suffering from obsessive thoughts will think about the problem at any time of the day, without addressing it.

Another example: a person set a goal to improve his home or change his job. Thinking about this never leaves him. While doing something, he thinks about the goal. Tired, he wants to rest and switch to something else, but it doesn’t work out for him. Without noticing it, he continues to think about the task. On the one hand, such thoughts can be useful, preventing you from stopping at achieving your goal. But they can also be harmful to health because they do not allow you to fully rest. The appearance of obsessive thoughts indicates the occurrence of mental disorders.

No matter how significant your goals are, you still need to set aside time for yourself to relax. Lack of rest can cause the development chronic fatigue and the appearance of obsession.

Intrusive thoughts that cause anxiety

The appearance of obsessive thoughts can be caused by both an objective threat and something far-fetched.

Quite often, people intimidate themselves with excessive worry about their health. Feeling the slightest symptom, a person focuses on it and worries too much. Although in reality he is not sick, and the symptoms arose due to excessive worries.
Some people suffer from thoughts of harming themselves or others. Although in reality a person does not want this at all, thinking about it causes anxiety. A person is frightened by the very fact that he is thinking about it, and he does not understand the reason for such thoughts.
Another manifestation anxiety disorder are thoughts about everyday things, accompanied by obsession. In such cases, a person may constantly feel like he forgot to turn off the stove or iron. These considerations give no rest, and a person double-checks everything many times.
Some people are haunted by the fear of contracting some disease. And they wash their hands very often, wash their clothes, clean everything around them, etc.

How to get rid of obsessive thoughts

First of all, it is necessary to realize that it is unreasonable to believe all the thoughts that flash through. Also, you shouldn’t relate yourself only to them. A person is characterized not only by thoughts, they are just a small part of a person. Many people believe that all the thoughts that arise in their heads are only theirs. But in reality, many of them arise under the influence of various factors. The thoughts that come up depend not only on the person, whether he wants it or not. Their formation is influenced by mood, circumstances, and the past. If a person had not experienced certain events in the past, he might have had different thoughts.

To combat obsessive thoughts, you need to realize that you are capable not only of contemplating them, but also of judging and ignoring them. You need to stop comparing yourself to them and try to look from the outside. If you follow them, you will notice that many of them appear subconsciously, without your desire. Also, many of them are repeated every day, only in other modifications.

There is no need to think about how to deal with obsessive thoughts or make efforts to free yourself from them. When a person tries to forget something, on the contrary, he intensifies his attention to it. If you constantly strive to switch and drive them away, they will only overwhelm you more. Because resistance gives them an emotional boost and they become stronger.

The main thing to combat obsessive thoughts is not the desire to get rid of them, but a change in attitude towards them. When this happens, you will be absolutely indifferent to what may come to mind. When the occurrence of obsession is justified, the problem must be eliminated by action, and not by reflection.

How to get rid of obsessive fear

Obsessive fears can occur in almost anyone. Their main difference from ordinary fears is the awareness of their fear. People suffering from obsessive fears understand the meaninglessness of their fear, but continue to be afraid.

Obsessive fears are a fairly common phenomenon. Exists a large number of types of fears. The most common fears are: fear of communication, fear of spaces, fear of the dark, fear of animals, fear of diseases, . There are cases when a phobia arises in childhood and goes away over time, and sometimes it haunts even in adulthood.

Before you learn how to get rid of obsessive thoughts and fear, you need to understand the reason for their occurrence.

Causes

Psychological predisposition

Every person is capable of fighting the effects external factors differently. One person can recover quickly after stressful situations, others will need a long time for this. The formation of stress resistance is influenced by both upbringing and the innate state of the nervous system. People with an unstable nervous system often suffer from fears and obsessive thoughts.

Upbringing

Children who were raised too strictly and criticized a lot are more likely to attend negative thoughts and fears. As adults, they become self-critical and overly fixated on negative events, unable to enjoy life.

Negative thinking

Pessimists are people who see only the negative in everything. Even if there is good around, they don’t notice it. Such people often suffer from fears and obsessive thoughts. Optimists, on the contrary, try not to concentrate their attention on negative emotions, but to find something good in any situation. Therefore, optimists are characterized as people with a stronger psyche, and they are much less likely to encounter obsessive fears.

When a man holds everything negative emotions in themselves, they begin to accumulate. Over time, they involuntarily come out and can develop into obsessive fear.

People suffering from a phobia try in every possible way to avoid the circumstances that cause fear. When faced with such situations, they may experience the following symptoms:

It is very difficult for a person suffering from any phobia. He realizes that in reality he is not in danger, but reflexively avoids frightening situations. A phobia can manifest itself at any inopportune moment and force a person to behave irrationally.

How to get rid

You can get rid of obsessive thoughts and fears using the method of setting aside time for worry. You need to practice the method every day. During the day you need to allocate ten minutes twice. This period of time should be consciously set aside for thoughts about the phobia. You need to think exclusively about negative aspects, you can talk about them out loud. After time has passed, you need to let go of your thoughts and continue to do things.

The main thing in this technique is to bring negative thoughts to maximum level. To overcome obsessive fear, you need to experience severe emotional discomfort. To do this, during the period of time for worry, you should not convince yourself that your worries are in vain. On the contrary, you need to reassure yourself that these worries are not in vain. This state must be adhered to for ten minutes.

Over time, the treatment will give results and the fear will gradually decrease. Two weeks after regular exercise, the experience will significantly decrease. When faced with the source of fear, you can control your emotions by putting aside the time of fear. Then control over fear will turn into conscious actions.

Often false fears and experiences take precedence over the general emotional background person. Obsessive thoughts create fear, which is difficult to cope with in the future. Every day a person encounters a similar condition, as a result of which obsessive disorder develops. Mental disorders make life much more difficult, but there are ways to get rid of obsessive thoughts and fears. First you need to understand what this syndrome is and what are the reasons for its occurrence.

What is obsessive syndrome

Obsession is a manifestation of obsessive thoughts and fears, as well as the actions that follow them. This personality disorder is considered the most complex of all existing diseases. Moreover, it is complex in terms of treatment and diagnosis. Because of the illness, a person stops enjoying life, sees every day in gray tones, experiences difficulties in interpersonal communication, work, study, and living with a significant other. Instead of focusing on the main thing, the patient is completely immersed in his fears and spins existing obsessive thoughts.

Every person has obsessive thoughts that, in principle, can be controlled. If you are going to an important event or preparing for an exam, you are probably replaying the future day in your head. Some worry about whether the iron has been turned off, constantly rechecking the action already completed. Similar phenomena are not uncommon, they serve to reduce anxiety and relieve nervous tension. At the same time, more than 45% of the population feel some discomfort if they begin to behave differently (without obsessive actions).

Obsession is called obsession syndrome, or mental disorder, in which conditions of varying degrees of complexity periodically appear. These aspects entail thoughts, ideas and actions that form a particular ritual.

The syndrome causes a person to experience nervous tension And severe stress. Constantly fixating on the uncertainty of the actions carried out contributes to focusing on the bad. Negative ideas stuck in your head develop into obsessive thoughts. This condition often transforms into neurotic disorder, but the patient does not suffer from violations of logic.

Obsession is not just compulsive behavior - repeating the same actions over and over again. It's also not just about focusing on intrusive bad thoughts and fears. The syndrome conceals the awareness of such obsession in a person. The individual perceives the obsession as a foreign creature, alien to his own “I”. However, it is impossible to fight compulsions because there is no idea for what reasons they arose.

Depending on the nature of the manifestation of obsession, it happens:

emotional (manifests in the form of phobias);
motor (compulsive);
intellectual (consists in obsessive thoughts).

In some cases, obsession manifests itself in the form of collecting things that it is a pity to part with, imagining and forming images, obsessions, doubts and desires.

Generally speaking, obsessive syndrome has the property of repetition on certain topics. The most common are order, infection, symmetry, sexual behavior, violence, dirt.

An obsession in which a person wants to do everything perfectly deserves special attention. If the situation does not go according to plan, a feeling of incompleteness appears. To fix the problem, you need to repeat the same action over and over again. For example, opening and closing the refrigerator.

To relieve nervous tension, an individual is forced to create certain rituals that will relieve anxiety. More often this manifests itself in double-checking actions already performed, washing, counting and other actions. The patient understands that he is performing a bunch of meaningless manipulations, but they temporarily help cope with obsessive thoughts and fear.

Symptoms of obsessive syndrome

Obsession manifests itself in two aspects - physical and psychological.

Physical symptoms:

shortness of breath even after a short walk;
dizziness;
tachycardia, bradycardia;
a sharp influx or outflow of blood in the skin of the face;
increased intestinal motility.

Psychological symptoms:

Creating obsessive images, scrolling them through your head over and over again.
Obsessive type phobias, for example, fear of being bitten by insects, fear of infection.
A protective function of the individual, manifested in the performance of certain rituals (turning on/off the light, etc.).
Painful memories that are often repeated in the head and make a person blush and feel shame.
Hallucinations (in rare cases).
Obsessive-type doubts regarding the action performed (everything must be done well).
A desire to harm people or material objects, which will never be translated into reality for fear of being punished.
Useless thinking about actions that are not cognitive in nature.
Scrolling through dialogues in your head, talking to yourself, coming up with fantasies that lead to a worsening mood.
Sharp, unsubstantiated apathy towards close people (relatives, colleagues, co-workers).

Causes of obsessive thoughts and fears

creating concepts and false beliefs in your own head;
misconceptions about how the world works;
the belief that fear cannot be eradicated (constant feeding);
spinning obsessive thoughts to unprecedented heights;
inability to control your thoughts and emotions;
lack of someone to talk to;
doubt before an upcoming event that is happening for the first time;
the instinct of self-preservation;
reluctance to realize yourself as a person (build a career, family, etc.).

Obsessive thoughts and fears have their reasons. If you eradicate them, the further problem will be much easier to solve. Consider ways to help cope with obsessive syndrome on our own. If the disorder has developed into neurosis, you should contact a psychologist for help.

Video: how to overcome obsessive thoughts

Today we'll talk About, how to get rid of fear of a very different nature: fear of death, fear of animals or insects, phobia associated with illness, injury, death as a result of an accident, etc.

In this article, I will talk not only about techniques that will help you overcome fear, but also about how to properly relate to the feeling of fear and how to change your life in such a way that there is less room for anxiety in it.

I myself had to go through a lot of fears, especially during that period of my life when I experienced. I was afraid of dying or going crazy. I was afraid that my health would become completely unusable. I was afraid of dogs. I was afraid of so many things.

Since then, some of my fears have completely disappeared. I learned to control some fears. I learned to live with other fears. I've done a lot of work on myself. I hope my experience, which I will outline in this article, will help you too.

Where does fear come from?

Since ancient times, the mechanism of fear has performed a protective function. He protected us from danger. Many people are instinctively afraid of snakes because this quality was inherited from their ancestors. After all, those of them who were afraid of these animals and, as a result, avoided them, had a greater chance of not dying from a poisonous bite than those who showed fearlessness in relation to crawling creatures. Fear helped those who experienced it to survive and pass this quality on to their offspring. After all, only living things can reproduce.

Fear makes people feel strong desire to flee when they encounter something their brain perceives as danger. Many people are afraid of heights. But they cannot help but guess about it until they find themselves high for the first time. Their legs will begin to instinctively give way. The brain will feed alarms. The person will passionately want to leave this place.

But fear helps not only to protect yourself from danger when it occurs. It allows a person to avoid even potential danger wherever possible.

Anyone who is mortally afraid of heights will not climb onto the roof again, because he will remember what strong unpleasant emotions he experienced the last time he was there. And thus, perhaps protect yourself from the risk of death as a result of a fall.

Unfortunately, since the time of our distant ancestors, the environment in which we live has changed a lot. AND fear does not always meet our survival goals. And even if it answers, it does not contribute to our happiness and comfort in any way.

People experience many social fears that prevent them from achieving their goals. They are often afraid of things that pose no threat. Or this threat is negligible.

The chance of dying in a passenger plane crash is approximately one in 8 million. However, many people are afraid of traveling by air. There is no threat to getting to know another person, but many men or women experience extreme anxiety when being around other people.

Many quite ordinary fears can become uncontrollable. Natural concern for the safety of your children can turn into acute paranoia. Fear of losing your life or harming yourself sometimes turns into mania and an obsession with safety. Some people spend a lot of their time in seclusion, trying to protect themselves from the dangers that supposedly await them on the street.

We see that the natural mechanism formed by evolution often interferes with us. Many fears do not protect us, but rather make us vulnerable. This means we need to intervene in this process. Next I will tell you how to do this.

Method 1 - Stop being afraid of fear

The first tips will help you understand fear correctly.

You ask me: “I just want to stop being afraid of mice, spiders, open or closed spaces. Are you suggesting we just stop being afraid of fear itself?”

What reactions does fear cause in a person? As we found out earlier this:

The desire to eliminate the object of fear. (If a person is afraid of snakes, will he run away? when he sees them
Reluctance to repeat this feeling (The person will avoid snakes wherever possible, not build a dwelling near their lair, etc.)

Our instincts tell us these two reactions. A person who fears death in a plane crash will instinctively avoid airplanes. But if he suddenly has to fly somewhere, he will try to do everything so as not to feel a sense of fear. For example, get drunk, drink calming pills, will ask someone to calm him down. He will do this because he is afraid of the feeling of fear.

But in the context of fear management, such behavior often makes no sense. After all, the fight against fear is a fight against instincts. And if we want to defeat instincts, we should not be guided by their logic, which is indicated in two points above.

Of course, during an attack of fear, the most logical behavior for us is to run away or try to get rid of the attack of fear. But this logic is whispered to us by our instincts, which we must defeat!

It is precisely because during attacks of fear that people behave as their “guts” tell them, they cannot get rid of these fears. They go to the doctor, sign up for hypnosis and say: “I never want to experience this again! Fear torments me! I want to stop being afraid completely! Get me out of this!” Some methods may help them for a while, but fear can still return to them in one form or another. Because they listened to their instincts, which told them: “Fear fear!” You can only be free when you get rid of him!”

It turns out that many people cannot get rid of fear because they, first of all, strive to get rid of it! Now I will explain this paradox.

Fear is just a program

Imagine that you have invented a robot that washes your floors at home, including your balcony. Using the reflection of radio signals, the robot can estimate the height at which it is located. And to prevent him from falling off the edge of the balcony, you have programmed him in such a way that his brain signals him to stop if he is on the edge of a drop in height.

You left the house and left the robot to clean up. What did you find when you returned? The robot froze on the threshold between your room and the kitchen and could not cross it due to a slight difference in heights! A signal in his brain told him to stop!

If the robot had “mind”, “consciousness”, it would understand that there is no danger at the border of two rooms, since the height is small. And then he could cross it, despite the fact that the brain continues to signal danger! The robot's consciousness simply would not obey the absurd order of its brain.

A person has a consciousness that is also not obliged to follow the commands of his “primitive” brain. And the first thing you must do if you want to get rid of fear is stop trusting fear, stop perceiving it as a guide to action, stop being afraid of it. You need to act a little paradoxically, and not as your gut tells you.

After all, fear is just a feeling. Roughly speaking, this is the same program that the robot in our example executes when it approaches the balcony. This is a program that your brain launches on a chemical level (with the help of adrenaline, for example) after it receives information from your sensory organs.

Fear is simply a stream of chemical signals that are translated into commands for your body.

But your consciousness, despite the work of the program, can itself understand in which cases it is faced with a real danger, and in which situations it is dealing with a failure in the “instinctive program” (approximately the same failure that occurred with the robot when it could not climb over across the threshold).

If you experience fear, it does not mean that there is any danger. You should not always trust all your feelings, as they often deceive you. Do not run from a non-existent danger, do not try to somehow calm this feeling. Try to just calmly wait until the “siren” (“alarm! save yourself!”) in your head goes silent. Often this will simply be a false alarm.

And it is in this direction that you must move first if you want to get rid of fear. In the direction of allowing your consciousness, and not the “primitive” brain, to make decisions (getting on a plane, approaching a strange girl).

After all, there is nothing wrong with this feeling! There is nothing wrong with fear! It's just chemistry! It's an illusion! There is nothing terrible about experiencing this feeling sometimes.

It's normal to be afraid. There is no need to strive to immediately get rid of fear (or what this fear causes). Because if you are just thinking about how to get rid of him, you follow his lead, you listen to what he tells you, you obey him, do you take him seriously. You think: “I’m afraid to fly on a plane, so I won’t fly” or “I’ll fly on a plane only when I stop being afraid of flying,” “because I believe in fear and I’m afraid of it.” And then you keep feeding your fear! You can stop feeding him if only you stop feeding him great importance.

When you think: “I'm afraid to fly on a plane, but I'll fly on it anyway. And I won’t be afraid of an attack of fear, because it’s just a feeling, chemistry, the play of my instincts. Let him come, because there is nothing terrible in fear!” Then you stop obeying fear.

You will get rid of fear only when you stop wanting to get rid of it and live with it!

Breaking the vicious circle

I have already spoken about this example from my life more than once and I will repeat it again here. I took the first step towards getting rid of panic attacks, as sudden attacks fear, only when you stopped focusing on getting rid of it! I began to think: “let the attacks come. This fear is just an illusion. I can survive these attacks, there’s nothing scary about them.”

And then I stopped being afraid of them, I became ready for them. For four years I followed their lead, thinking: “when will this end, when will the attacks go away, what should I do?” But when I applied tactics in relation to them that were opposite to the logic of my instincts, when I stopped driving away fear, only then did it begin to go away!

Our instincts trap us. Of course, this thoughtless program of the body is aimed at making us obey it (roughly speaking, the instincts “want” us to obey them), so that we are afraid of the appearance of fear, and not accept it. But this only makes the whole situation worse.

When we begin to be afraid of our fears, to take them seriously, we only make them stronger. Fear of fear only increases the total amount of fear and even provokes fear itself. I personally became convinced of the truth of this principle when I suffered from panic attacks. The more afraid I was of new attacks of fear, the more often they happened.

My fear of attacks only fueled the fear that arises during a panic attack. These two fears (fear itself and fear of fear) are connected in a positive way. feedback and reinforce each other.

A person engulfed by them finds himself in a vicious circle. He is afraid of new attacks and thereby causes them, and the attacks, in turn, cause even greater fear of them! Get out of this vicious circle We can if we remove the fear of fear, and not the fear itself, as many people want. Since we can influence this type of fear much more strongly than fear in its pure form.

If we talk about fear in its “pure form,” then it often does not have very much weight in the totality of fear. I want to say that if we are not afraid of him, then it is easier for us to survive these discomfort. Fear ceases to be “scary.”

Don't worry if these conclusions don't quite make sense to you, or if you don't quite understand how to achieve this attitude towards your fear. Such an understanding will not come immediately. But you will be able to understand it better when you read my following tips and apply the recommendations from them.

Method 2 - Think long term

I gave this advice in my last article. Here I will dwell on this point in more detail.

This advice may not help you cope with every fear, but it will help you cope with some anxieties. The fact is that when we are afraid, we tend to think about the very moment of realization of our fear, and not about what may await us in the future.

Let's say you're afraid of losing your job. It provides you with comfortable working conditions, and the salary at this place allows you to buy the things you want. The thought of losing her fills you with fear. You immediately imagine how you will have to look for another job, which may pay worse than the one you lost. You will no longer be able to spend as much money as you used to spend, and this makes you anxious.

But instead of imagining how bad you'll feel when you lose your job, think about what happens next. Mentally cross the line you are afraid to cross. Let's say you lose your job. Ask yourself what will happen in the future? Imagine your future over an extended period of time with all the nuances.

You will begin your search new job. It is not at all necessary that you will not find a job with the same salary. There is a possibility that you will find an even higher paying position. You cannot know for sure how much you are willing to offer to a specialist of your level in other companies until you go to interviews.

Even if you have to work for less money, so what? You may not be able to frequent expensive restaurants for a while. You will buy more cheap food, than bought before, to prefer a holiday abroad to a holiday at the dacha at home or with a friend. I understand that now this seems scary to you, because you are used to living differently. But a person always gets used to everything. The time will come and you will get used to it, just as you have become accustomed to many things in your life. But it is quite possible that this situation will not last your entire life; you will be able to achieve a promotion in your new job!

When a child's toy is taken away, he stomps his foot and cries, because he cannot realize that in the future (perhaps in a couple of days) he will get used to the absence of this toy and other, more interesting things will appear. Because the child becomes a hostage to his momentary emotions and cannot think in the future!

Don't become that child. Think constructively about the things you fear.

If you are afraid that your husband will betray you and leave you for another woman, think, so what? Millions of couples break up and no one dies from it. You will suffer for a while, but then you will begin to live new life. After all, any human emotions are temporary! Don't be afraid of these emotions. They will come and go.

Imagine the real picture in your head: how you will live, how you will get out of suffering, how you will make new interesting acquaintances, how you will have a chance to correct the mistakes of the past! Think about prospects, not failures! About new happiness, not suffering!

Method 3 - Be Prepared

When I'm nervous on a plane about to land, it doesn't help much to think about plane crash statistics. So what if disasters happen rarely? So what if getting to the airport by car is statistically more life-threatening than flying by plane? These thoughts do not save me in those moments when the plane begins to shake or it continues to circle over the airport. Any person who experiences this fear will understand me.

In such situations, fear makes us think: “what if I am now on exactly one of the eight million flights that should turn into a disaster?” And no statistics can save you. After all, unlikely does not mean impossible! In this life, everything is possible, so you need to be prepared for anything.
Trying to reassure yourself, like: “everything will be fine, nothing will happen,” usually doesn’t help. Because such exhortations are lies. But the truth is that anything can happen! And we need to accept it.

“Not a very optimistic conclusion for an article about getting rid of fear,” you might think.

In fact, everything is not so bad; willingness helps to overcome fear. And do you know what line of thinking helps me out on such intense flights? I think: “Planes really rarely crash. It is very unlikely that something bad will happen right now. But, nevertheless, it is possible. At worst, I'll die. But I still have to die someday. Death is inevitable in any case. Each one ends with her human life. A catastrophe will simply bring closer what will happen someday anyway with 100% probability.”

As you can see, being prepared does not mean looking at things with a doomed look, thinking: “I’m going to die soon.” This simply means realistically assessing the situation: “it’s not a fact that a disaster will happen. But if it happens, then so be it.”

Of course, this does not eliminate fear completely. I'm still afraid of death, but it helps to be prepared. What's the point of worrying your whole life about something that will definitely happen? It’s better to be at least a little prepared and not think about your death as something that will never happen to us.
I understand that this advice is very difficult to implement in practice. And, moreover, not everyone always wants to think about death.

But people often write to me, tormented by the most absurd fears. Someone, for example, is afraid to go outside because they believe that it is dangerous there, whereas at home it is much safer. This person will have a hard time dealing with his fear if he waits for the fear to pass so he can go outside. But he may feel better if he thinks: “Even though there is danger on the street. But you can’t sit at home all the time! You cannot completely protect yourself, even if you are within four walls. Or I will go outside and expose myself to the danger of death and injury (this danger is negligible). Or I'll stay at home until I die! A death that will happen anyway. If I die now, then I will die. But most likely this will not happen in the near future.”

If people stop focusing so much on their fears, and can at least sometimes look them in the face, realizing that behind them there is nothing hidden except emptiness, then fears will cease to have so much power over us. We can’t be so afraid of losing what we are already going to lose.

Fear and emptiness

An attentive reader will ask me: “But if you take this logic to the limit, it turns out that if there is no point in being afraid of losing those things that we will lose anyway, then there is no point in being afraid of anything at all! After all, nothing lasts forever!

That's right, even though it contradicts ordinary logic. At the end of every fear lies emptiness. We have nothing to fear because all things are temporary.

This thesis may be very difficult to intuitively understand.

But I am not too keen for you to understand it on a theoretical level, but rather to use it in practice. How? I'll explain now.

I myself use this principle regularly. I'm still afraid of many things. But, remembering this principle, I understand that every fear of mine is meaningless. I shouldn’t “feed” him and get too carried away with him. When I think about this, I find the strength to not give in to fear.

Many people, when they are very afraid of something, subconsciously believe that they “should be afraid”, that there are really scary things. They think that no other reaction other than fear is possible in relation to these things. But if you know that in principle there is nothing to be afraid of in this life, since everything will happen someday, if you realize the meaninglessness, the “emptiness” of fear, if you understand that there are no truly terrible things, but only a subjective reaction to these things, then it will become easier to cope with fear. I will return to this point at the end of the article.

Method 4 - Observe

The following few methods will allow you to deal with fear as it arises.

Instead of giving in to fear, try simply observing it from the outside. Try to localize this fear in your thoughts, to feel it as some kind of energy that is formed in certain parts of the body. Mentally direct your breath to these areas. Try to make your breathing slow and calm.

Don't get caught up in your fear with your thoughts. Just watch how it forms. Sometimes this helps remove fear completely. Even if the fear doesn't go away, it's okay. By becoming a dispassionate observer, you begin to recognize your fear as something external to your “I”, as something that no longer has such power over this “I”.

When you observe, fear is much easier to control. After all, the feeling of fear forms like a snowball. At first you are simply scared, then all sorts of thoughts begin to creep into your head: “what if something bad happens,” “what is that strange sound that appeared when the plane was landing?”, “what if something bad happens to my health?”

And these thoughts fuel fear, it becomes even stronger and causes even more anxious thoughts. We find ourselves again inside a vicious circle!

But by observing the feelings, we try to get rid of any thoughts and interpretations. We do not feed our fear with our thoughts, and then it becomes weaker. Don't let your own mind increase fear. To do this, simply turn off thinking, evaluation and interpretation and go into observation mode. Don't think about the past or the future stay in the present moment with your fear!

Method 5 - Breathe

During attacks of fear, try to breathe deeply, taking longer inhalations and exhalations. Diaphragmatic breathing It calms the nervous system well and, according to scientific research, stops the fight-or-flight response, which is directly related to the feeling of fear.

Diaphragmatic breathing means that you breathe from your stomach rather than from your chest. Focus on how you breathe. Count the time of inhalation and exhalation. Try to keep this time equal for inhalation and exhalation and long enough. (4 – 10 seconds.) Just don’t choke. Breathing should be comfortable.

Method 6 - Relax your body

When fear attacks you, try to relax. Calmly move your attention over each muscle in your body and relax it. You can combine this technique with breathing. Mentally direct your breath to different parts of your body, in order, starting with your head and ending with your feet.

Method 7 - Remember how your fear did not come true

This method helps to cope with minor and recurring fears. For example, you are constantly afraid that you might offend someone or make a bad impression on them. But, as a rule, it turns out that your fear was never realized. It turned out that you had not offended anyone, and it was just your own mind that frightened you.

If this is repeated over and over again, then when you again fear that you said the wrong things when communicating, remember how often your fear was not realized. And most likely, you will understand that there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

But be prepared for anything! Even if there is a possibility that someone is offended by you, then it’s not a big deal! Make peace! Don't make a big deal about what has already happened. Most of your own mistakes can be corrected.

Method 8 - Treat fear as a thrill

Remember when I wrote that fear is just a feeling? If you are afraid of something, it does not mean that there is any danger. This feeling sometimes does not relate to reality, but is only spontaneous chemical reaction in your head. Instead of being afraid of this reaction, treat it as a thrill, as a free ride. You don't have to pay money or put yourself in danger by skydiving to get the adrenaline rush. This adrenaline appears out of the blue. Beauty!

Method 9 - Accept your fear, don't resist

Above, I talked about techniques that will help you quickly deal with your fear at the moment it arises. But you don't need to get attached to these techniques. When people hear about ways to control fear or fear, they sometimes fall into the trap of believing in self-control. They start thinking: “Hurray! It turns out fear can be controlled! And now I know how to do it! Then I’ll definitely get rid of him!”

They begin to rely heavily on these techniques. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. And when people fail to cope with fear using these methods, they begin to panic: “I can’t control this! Why? Yesterday it worked, but today it doesn’t! What should I do? I need to deal with this urgently somehow! I have to manage this!”

They begin to worry and thereby only increase their fear. But the truth is that it's far away you can't always control everything. Sometimes these techniques will work, sometimes they won't. Of course, try to breathe, observe the fear, but if it doesn’t go away, there’s nothing terrible about it. No need to panic, no need to look for a new way out of the situation, leave everything as it is, accept your fear. You don't "have to" get rid of it at that moment. The word “should” does not apply here at all. Because you feel the way you feel now. What happens, happens. Accept it and stop resisting.

Method 10 - Don't get attached to things

The following methods will allow you to remove fears from your life

As the Buddha said: “the basis of human suffering (dissatisfaction, inability to achieve final satisfaction) is attachment (desire).” Attachment, in my opinion, is understood more as dependence than love.

If we are strongly attached to something, for example, we strongly need to produce an effect on the opposite sex, to achieve constant victories on the love front, then this will lead us into a state of eternal dissatisfaction, and not happiness and pleasure, as we think . Sexual feeling and self-esteem cannot be completely satisfied. After each new victory, these feelings will demand more and more. New successes on the love front will bring you less and less pleasure over time (“pleasure inflation”), while failures will make us suffer. We will live in constant fear, the fact that we will lose our charm and attractiveness (and sooner or later this will still happen with the advent of old age) and again we will suffer. At a time when no love affairs occur, we will not feel the joy of life.

Perhaps some people will find it easier to understand attachment using the example of money. While we strive for money, it seems to us that by earning a certain amount of money, we will achieve happiness. But when we achieve this goal, happiness does not come and we want more! Complete satisfaction is unattainable! We are chasing carrots on a fishing rod.

But it would be much easier for you if you weren’t so attached to it and were happy with what we have (it’s not necessary to stop striving for the best). This is what the Buddha meant when he said that the cause of dissatisfaction is attachment. But attachments not only give rise to dissatisfaction and suffering, they create fear.

After all, we are afraid of losing exactly what we are so attached to!

I'm not saying that you need to go to the mountains, give up your personal life and destroy all attachments. Complete release from attachments is an extreme teaching, suitable for extreme cases. But despite this, modern man can derive some benefit from this principle for himself without going to extremes.

To experience less fear, you don’t need to get too hung up on certain things and make them the basis of your existence. If you think: “I live for work”, “I live only for my children”, then you may experience strong fear the loss of these things. After all, your whole life comes down to them.

That's why try to diversify your life as much as possible, let a lot of new things into it, enjoy many things, and not just one thing. Be happy because you are breathing and living, and not just because you have a lot of money and are attractive to the opposite sex. Although, as I said above, the latter things will not bring you happiness.

(In this sense, attachments are not only the cause of suffering, but its consequence! People who are deeply unhappy inside begin to desperately cling to external things in search of satisfaction: sex, entertainment, alcohol, new experiences. But happy people, as a rule, are more self-sufficient. The basis of their happiness is life itself, and not things. Therefore, they are not so afraid of losing them.)

Affection does not mean absence of love. As I wrote above, this is understood more as addiction than love. For example, I place great big hopes to this site. I love developing it. If something bad suddenly happens to him, it will be a blow for me, but not the end of my whole life! After all, I have many other interesting things to do in my life. But my happiness is formed not only by them, but by the very fact that I live.

Method 11 - Nurture Your Ego

Remember, you are not alone in this world. The whole existence is not limited to just your fears and problems. Stop focusing on yourself. There are other people in the world with their own fears and worries.

Understand that there is an immense world around you with its laws. Everything in nature is subject to birth, death, decay, disease. Everything in this world is finite. And you yourself are part of this universal order, and not the center of it!

If you feel yourself in harmony with this world, without opposing yourself to it, and realize your existence as an integral part of the natural order, you will understand that you are not alone, that you, together with all living beings, are moving in the same direction. And this has always happened, forever and ever.

With this consciousness your fears will disappear. How to achieve such consciousness? It must come with the development of personality. One way to achieve this state is to practice meditation.

Method 12 - Meditate

In this article, I talked about the fact that you cannot identify yourself with your fear, that it is just a feeling, that you need to be prepared for anything, that you cannot put your own ego at the center of all existence.

This is easy to understand on a theoretical level, but not always easy to apply in practice. It is not enough just to read about it, it must be practiced, day after day, applying it in real life. Not all things in this world are accessible to “intellectual” knowledge.

The attitude towards fears that I spoke about at the beginning needs to be cultivated in oneself. The way to come to these conclusions in practice, to realize that fear is just an illusion, is meditation.

Meditation makes it possible to “reprogram” yourself to be happier and freer. Nature is a wonderful “designer”, but her creations are not perfect, biological mechanisms(fear mechanism) that worked in the Stone Age do not always work in the modern world.

Meditation will allow you to partially correct the imperfections of nature, change your standard emotional reactions to many things, move away from fear to calmness, come to a clearer understanding of the illusory nature of fear, understand that fear is not part of your personality and free yourself from it!

With practice, you can find the source of happiness within yourself and not have strong attachments to different things. You will learn to accept your emotions and fears rather than resist them. Meditation will teach you to observe your fear from the outside without getting involved in it.

Meditation will not only help you come to some important understanding of yourself and life. The practice has been scientifically proven to calm the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for feelings of stress. It will make you calmer and less stressed. She will teach you to relax deeply and get rid of fatigue and tension. And this is very important for people who experience fear.

You can listen to my short lecture on this by following the link.

Method 13 - Don't let fear dictate you

Many of us are accustomed to the fact that everyone around us only talks about how scary life is, what terrible diseases exist, ooh and ahh. And this perception is transferred to us. We start to think that there are really scary things that we “should” be afraid of, since everyone else is afraid of them!

Fear, surprisingly, can be a consequence of stereotypes. It is natural to be afraid of death, and almost all people are afraid of it. But when we see the constant lamentations of other people about the death of loved ones, when we watch how our elderly friend cannot come to terms with the death of her son, who died 30 years ago, then we begin to think that this is not just scary, but terrible! That there is no chance to perceive it any other way.

In fact, these things become so terrible only in our perception. And there is always the possibility of treating them differently. When Einstein died, he accepted death completely calmly, he treated it as an unchangeable order of things. If you ask some spiritually developed person, perhaps a religious ascetic, a convinced Christian or a Buddhist, how he feels about death, he will probably be calm about this. And this is not necessarily connected only with the fact that the first believes in an immortal soul, posthumous existence, and the second, although he does not believe in the soul, believes in reincarnation. This is due to the fact that they are spiritually developed and have tamed their ego. No, I’m not saying that we need to seek salvation in religion, I’m trying to prove that a different attitude towards those things that we consider terrible is possible, and it can be achieved along with spiritual development!

Don't listen to those who talk about how scary everything is. These people are wrong. In fact, there are almost no things in this world to be afraid of. Or not at all.

And watch less TV.

Method 14 - Do not avoid situations in which fear arises (!!!)

I highlighted this point with three exclamation marks because it is one of the most important advice In this article. I briefly touched on this issue in the first paragraphs, but here I will dwell on it in more detail.

I have already said that the instinctive tactics of behavior during fear (run away, be afraid, avoid some situations) are the wrong tactics in the context of the task of getting rid of fear. If you are afraid to leave the house, then you will never cope with this fear if you stay at home.

So what should we do? Go outside! Forget about your fear! Let him appear, don’t be afraid of him, let him in and don’t resist. However, do not take it seriously, because it is just a feeling. You can get rid of your fear only when you begin to ignore the very fact of its occurrence and live as if there is no fear!

To overcome your fear of flying on airplanes, you need to fly on airplanes as often as possible.
To overcome the fear of the need for self-defense, you need to enroll in the martial arts section.
To overcome the fear of meeting girls, you need to meet girls!

You must do what you are afraid to do! Have an easy journey No. Forget about what you “should” do and get rid of your fear as soon as possible. Just take action.

Method 15 - Strengthen your nervous system

The extent to which you are susceptible to fear very much depends on the state of your health in general and the health of your nervous system in particular. Therefore, improve your work, learn to cope with stress, do yoga, quit. I have discussed these points in my other articles, so I will not write about it here. Strengthening your body is very important thing in the fight against depression, fears and bad mood. Please do not neglect this and do not limit yourself to just “ emotional work" IN healthy body healthy mind.

Conclusion

This article does not encourage you to immerse yourself in a world of sweet dreams and hide from fear. In this article, I tried to tell you how important it is to learn to face your fears, accept them, live with them, and not hide from them.

This path may not be the easiest, but it is the right one. All your fears will disappear only when you stop being afraid of the very feeling of fear. When you're done trusting him. When you don’t allow him to tell you what kind of transport to get to your vacation spot, how often to go outside, what people to communicate with. When you start living as if there is no fear.

Only then will he leave. Or he won't leave. But this will no longer matter much to you, since fear will become only a minor obstacle for you. Why give importance to little things?